BFP but in a panic!

[Beachygreen]

Today I got the BFP I’ve been waiting nearly a year for and I don’t feel the way I thought I would and I feel so ungrateful. I’m in a bit of a panic for a number of reasons and just wanted to get it off my chest.

I haven’t get told DH. He is going through a very hard and stressful time with FIL being ill. That’s my first worry is adding this extra stress to him.

I’m also worried that I might not be ready for life to change. I’m working towards a big promotion at work which would likely happen in 12-15 months time however going on mat leave puts that on hold.

Our 3rd floor one bed flat isn’t suitable for a baby. We have been house hunting with the intention of finding somewhere before having a baby but nowhere suitable has come up. I know I have a number of months to find somewhere and move but it’ll be so stressful.

Most ridiculous of all, my 1 year old dog has been my absolute rock this year and I view him as my first baby (crazy dog lady I know). I feel sad at the thought of him no longer coming first once a baby is here.

Can someone please talk some sense in to me!

I think you’ve got wanted and waited for this for a while and now you’re just panicking because it’s happening.

Your dh is stressed but maybe this might just be the thing to make him feel happy and might put a smile on your fil face.

Work will always be there, at some point you need to prioritise yourself and what you want. You have a little while before fully deciding what to do and if you decide to keep the baby then you have a while before you need to tell work.

I’m also a crazy dog lady and my little dog changed when I became pregnant. She’s always been a cuddly type of dog and being pregnant made her even more cuddly. She was slightly possessive and protective at times but my now baby is here, she is in love with her and it’s great to see. I do make sure to make times when it’s just my dog and I so we go out to the park or walks just us. She’s also a vital member of our family so everyone makes a fuss of her when they started to visit our baby. We also bought a whole load of toys so whenever anyone came with a toy for the baby, we gave our dog a toy too.

Babies need a lot of things but overall a changing mat on the floor, a cot and some clothes will do too. Our baby stayed in our room for 9 months, we didn’t actually need to worry about sorting a bedroom for a while!

Take time to think it all over but it’s completely natural to panic and think you’re not ready.
You will feel not readh throughout the whole pregnancy and even when the baby is born!

Thank you so much for your very rational response! I’m glad your dog has settled in nicely to being a big sister.

I have always put work before everything so the thought of putting a baby before work scares me. I do realise though that work never put me first so I need to put myself first now and remember it’s just a job and I have a very long career ahead of me.

I’m still plucking up the courage to tell DH! I know he will be delighted but I think I’ll need to pull myself together as my anxieties may rub off on him

Hey OP, I'm in a similar situation to you, except with the added bonus of our 1 bedroom flat now being both uninhabitable and unsaleable due to storm damage

I posted a similar panicked thread on getting my BFP and got some super sensible replies if you'd like to read;

Oh My God It Happened www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/4905670-oh-my-god-it-happened

Wishing you all the best x

Thank you so much @FoleyHuck (a very fitting name the first time I read it!). I will go and have a look now. Best of luck to you too!

Tell him when you’re ready. I remember worrying over telling my dh. Not sure why I was worried but I just suddenly felt incredibly nervous. The moment I told him will always be one of my favourites- the pure happiness on his face will stay with me and just is gently made me feel excited.
You never know, you might feel like that too when you tell him!

I bit the bullet and told him! His reaction has made me feel better. He said he’s shocked and delighted. He also said he’s ready for this. That makes one of us!

@Beachygreen I don’t think anyone ever feels 100% ready on all areas of their life to have a baby & there is never a “right time” but it has happened & now you need to give yourself some time to accept I. It’s a massive shock, especially when you get in the mindset of “it probably won’t happen”. Things will fall into place & what is meant to be will be. I will you all the luck & happiness in your pregnancy 🍀