When to try for second at 42

[Natpat81]

Hi all

Looking for your thoughts. I turned 42 last month and my baby is 3.5 months old. We have always said we’d like 2 children. Given my age, I know this may not be possible and I would be happy with one - I know I am lucky. But we would like to give it a go to try for a second.

Ideally I would wait for longer before trying for a second, but time is not on my side. So wondering what the right balance is between giving my body long enough to recover, and trying again. I should add that I am breastfeeding so my period has not returned yet, but I plan to stop at about 6 months. So just thinking in advance as I know I should take the pre conception vitamins 3 months before trying. It took 14 months of trying and one MMC to conceive my first.

I did also freeze some eggs at age 37 so have this as a backup option.

in my position, when would you start to try?

Thanks

I would usually say 3-4 year age gap ideally, just as really gives you chance to enjoy each child individually. However at 42 I’d say go for it asap, will probably find very unlikely to happen before 8-9 months if fully breastfeeding anyway plus with your age. The reality is your fertility window is fast fading at the age of 42, yes we all know people who were very lucky and had babies at that age but knowing the stats (plus high rate of miscarriage) I personally wouldn’t risk waiting. You’ve got a good chance of carrying a successful pregnancy even at 50 with younger eggs so is good you’ve got that back up at least so if I were you I’d just leave of the contraception now and see what happens and if nothing by 2-3 years then go for IVF

Start now.

Assuming you conceive the next couple years will be painfully hard, but that's the sacrifice.

I wouldn't wait either. Ditch the contraception and stop breastfeeding as planned at 6 months.
However I'm assuming you are in good health, eat well, healthy weight, and feel as if you are recovered from pregnancy and childbirth. If you do have any issues, I'd wait longer.

Don't worry too much about the small gap in terms of the carnage with two teenies. Yes, it's mad for a while, but you end up with two kids who are interested in the same things, so much easier later! If you have a supportive partner and you are generally a 'coping person' you'll be fine with two babies/toddlers.

Also, start an exercise program tailored at recovering from childbirth. Restore Your Core or something similar. You'll be glad of this later when your core and pelvic floor are being hammered again!
Also my comment above assumes you had a vaginal birth, not CS.

Thanks all! I was thinking this too but didn’t know if I’m a bit crazy thinking about it already!

@Miekle yes vaginal birth with no pregnancy complications. I have got some exercises from a physio and I’ll take a look at the program you mentioned.

I'd crack on op.
Good luck!!! 🤞

Yes start now.
My period don’t return until 13 months each time but I did conceive while breastfeeding so it is possible anyway but do not delay!

I'd also start now. My DD was born when I was 37, we started TTC after 6-7 months, it took 2 years to fall pregnant (and remain pregnant but that's another story) and they're 3.5 years apart, he was born just after I turned 40
Good luck 😉🤩🥳

Thanks all! Comments much appreciated