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Should we postpone ttc age 36 (family cancer)

5 replies

Hzky3 · 05/11/2023 20:59

Me and dh started ttc baby 4 in july after a suprise early loss in march that made us realise how much we really wanted another. We haven't been tracking or trying too much just stopped using protection and seeing what happens. Out of the blue and shockingly my dads recent colonoscopy showed a mass and we are now awaiting biopsy results and a treatment pathway for what looks very likely to be colon cancer I live a 4 hour flight away but am very close to my dad and know my mum will need my support as and when i can get home we have said it might be best for us to postpone ttc while all this is unfolding sound's like ill need to be fit to fly and look after my mental health during these stressful times but im already 36 nearly 37 it terrifies me i could run out of time to ttc if we postpone i really am in two minds...

OP posts:
worldwidetravel2017 · 05/11/2023 21:45

I wouldn't postpone

Sorry to hear re your dad

Echobelly · 05/11/2023 21:46

I wouldn't postpone and I'm sure your dad wouldn't want you to either. You just can't tell exactly what timings will be for you and for him so I would go for it.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 05/11/2023 21:47

I wouldn't postpone. If needs be you can come to the Uk at 8 months and have the baby here if you think at the time that being with parents will be more important than being with husbands work etc

Landlubber2019 · 05/11/2023 21:49

Sorry to hear about your dad, unfortunately time is not on your side and you must not delay TTC if you are serious about extending your family.

Outliers · 05/11/2023 21:51

It's ultimately down to you.

I don't think there's an incorrect decision here. You'll always have your 3DC that, I imagine, your father was blessed enough to meet.

At same time, life doesn't stop. We still have to eat, work and take care of our responsibilities during turbulent times.

There's no wrong or right answer, just do whatever your gut suggests and make peace with that judgement.

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