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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Deciding when to TTC

13 replies

Mattietoes · 04/11/2023 16:29

Hoping for some thoughts... Obviously understand this is ultimately our decision, but interested to hear others' perspectives!

My husband I got married earlier this year. I am about to turn 30, he is 31. We have always been very clear that we want children - ideally three. We always planned to start trying in around a year's time, but have recently been wondering about bringing this forward.

Financially, we are in a fine position - we own our house, have some savings and both work full time. The work situation is slightly tricky as I am currently employed on a training contract within the NHS. All being well, I will complete my training in September 2024 and start a qualified job. I would have to apply/interview for a qualified job, but it would be pretty unusual not to find one. We earn reasonably well, nothing amazing but we don't struggle, and our mortgage is small.

I am concerned that conceiving may not be entirely straightforward for us, as I had an eating disorder for 10+ years (now recovered) and worry about the effect this may have had on my fertility. Therefore a part of me is keen to start trying as soon as possible, so that we have plenty of time if we encounter problems.

However, another part of me worries that we are rushing and it would be more straightforward to stick to the original plan of trying in a year. Over the next six months I have to finish my training course, which is pretty demanding. I also wonder if it would be more sensible to start trying once I have secured a qualified job, just for peace of mind.

I'm so torn - I go completely back and forth every day!

OP posts:

Canuhear · 04/11/2023 16:30

Stick to your original plan. You need to sort out your job first as finances are an important part of bringing up children well. You still have plenty of time.

Starlight11111 · 04/11/2023 16:39

If it's financially doable you could try some fertility tests, eg fertility MOT or hertility to give you some peace of mind about continuing to wait?

JulyT · 04/11/2023 22:01

we were trying to decide when we would start trying too & I decided to get a fertility MOT done. I went to a private clinic & it cost £395 for just the female one (you can pay a little more & get the man’s sperm tested too), they do blood tests & an internal ultrasound & they check the condition of your uterus & ovaries & they do an follicular count & tell you what your egg reserve level is like for your age group. It massively put my mind at rest & have us the confidence to wait a bit before we started trying. Might be worth considering.

TeaKitten · 04/11/2023 22:03

If you can afford it have a fertility MOT now, but I’d stick to your original plan. It makes a lot of sense to be qualified and in a permanent job before TTC.

Original poster

Mattietoes · 05/11/2023 07:37

Fertility test is a great idea that hasn't crossed my mind, I'll look into it!

OP posts:

pbdr · 05/11/2023 07:54

I waited until finishing training (I'm a GP) before ttc and I am so, so glad I did. I really can't imagine how I could have kept up with the demands of portfolio and exams on top of working and trying to look after a baby/toddler. I don't think I'd have been able to enjoy my little girl's baby stage in the same way if I was trying to juggle it with all the pressures of training. People do it, so it must be possible, but it would be incredibly hard.

Obviously I don't know much about how intense/demanding the final part of your specific training programme would be, but it almost certainly will be far easier to do it before having a baby rather than after.

rainbow616 · 05/11/2023 07:59

I waited a little longer then I really wanted to, and I do really regret it! We had no issues conceiving DS but it took 2 1/2 years to get pregnant with DD. I really didn't want much of a gap between my two children, but there's five years 😢 I know it's a slightly different situation as you don't have children yet for there to be a gap, but I really didn't expect it to take as long as it did x

Walker12 · 05/11/2023 08:04

I could have written this a few years ago OP!
Was also considering when to start TTC towards the end of a similar sounding training programme. We ended up starting trying in the spring/summer before I qualified (In the Sept) as I was already applying for qualified jobs at that stage. I looked into a few NHS mat leave policies for local trusts and was reassured that I would be eligible for OMP still. Obviously going off on mat leave potentially a few months after starting a new job is perhaps not ideal but I felt I had put off TTC for long enough. I ended up securing a job in the June.
We ended up experiencing unexplained infertility (nothing would have been picked up on any fertility MOTs!) But I am currently pregnant via IVF. I was 31 when we started trying.
I hope that doesnt worry you in any way, just wanted to add a different perspective. As whilst I agree that getting settled in a career is important, your plans for family also sound important to you!

LondonUdi · 05/11/2023 09:51

I would also wait for the job to be sorted out, it is a peace of mind regardless of finances. It is phycological too it is evident that you’d feel more at ease if that’s sorted out otherwise you would have hesitated asking for opinion. Just be careful cause we waited for the right time am now 42, just had a miscarriage … devastated I would wish this to you at all. But you have plenty of time, you’re only 30! Good luck xx

LondonUdi · 05/11/2023 09:52

Sorry typos twice *would not

Canuhear · 05/11/2023 10:27

Also, along with fertility MOT, you can start prenatal vitamins and opk for understanding your ovulation day etc

Outliers · 05/11/2023 10:45

That's only a question you can answer. But ultimately, given the finite resources, the earlier the better.

WeightoftheWorld · 05/11/2023 11:18

I would wait, you're both relatively young and your training is so important. I had my first child before I had my career started and though I wouldn't say I regret it, I was definitely very naive about the prospects after that point. I have two now and ttc no.3 at the same age as you but no career and really no prospects for building one any time soon. Stuck in low waged work around the kids. I also get hyperemesis in pregnancy which renders me completely unable to work for a few months which also hampers me in terms of looking for jobs/promotion etc. If you got pregnant sooner and was sick like that you may never complete your training programme tbh. It's not worth the risk, finish it first.

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