Conceiving after a loss *TW*

[Lithgow2000]

Hi

I very recently went through a 14 week loss.
A post mortem will be done and the results given in a few months. I think i could also refer myself for testing since i have had one early & one late miscarriage.

Would it be silly to try again until i know the answers? I haven't got any living children and i'm so ready to be a mum.

If you had a late loss, how long did you wait? Were you advised of how long to wait? Did your next attempt work out?

Thanks

X

There are mixed views, some say wait couple months for body to heal (and allowing time to recover from disappointment) and anecdotally I've heard of people trying straight away conceiving with no issues going forward.

If you're able to I would suggest trying straight away. It will take time to get postmortem, and you only get 12 tries in a year ( on average).

Thank you. Do you know if the cervix and womb need time to recover?

That's the notion held by a lot of clinicians. But that's a generalisation that may not apply to all.

They say wait 6 months after giving birth but again people ignore this and are often fine.

@Lithgow2000 i got pregnant again 3 months after a 8month loss - though this was by accident, my periods hadn't come back yet and I just didn't think. Despite the short gap my body handled it fine, it was more of a mental struggle that I wasn't ready rather than needing to heal I hadn't finished grieving

8 months, I can't imagine i'm so so sorry. Thanks for sharing x

I had a miscarriage at 16 weeks and conceived within 3 months of that - was told it was ok to try again whilst waiting for the post mortem results. Unfortunately I went on to lose that pregnancy at 15 weeks as well. Was told again I could try if I wanted to, was pregnant again within 2 months and that one was ectopic. Was told to wait 6 months after the surgery for that one as a minimum but ideally 1 year post surgery.

I accidentally got pregnant after 5.5 months and I'm now 15 weeks again.

I'm 40 next year and both of the losses are unexplained and I have 2 living children.
For me, I find it easier to cope with the loss having TTC and pregnancy to focus on, but if I don't carry this one to term then I'm done. I can't say I've not tried!

Pregnancy and loss are really personal, I don't think anything is silly xx

Sorry, you're write and silly was the wrong word to use. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. Did you ever find any indication of what caused your losses? Xx

I'm really sorry for your loss. We started TTC last year but I sadly had a TFMR at 25 weeks. It was horrendous and such a shock so we decided to wait a few months before trying again, mentally and physically. I fortunately fell pregnant on the second cycle but sadly miscarried at 5 weeks. I waited one cycle before trying again and I was excited to fall pregnant the first cycle only to sadly miscarry again at 5+4. When I write it a down I can't quite believe it!

I think you just need to do what feels right for you x

I'm so sorry to hear this. Life can be so cruel. How are you doing?

I had an unidentified bleed which essentially killed my healthy baby and i'm so terrified of it happening again 😞

Thank you so much and sorry you are part of the worst group ever, although I have found anyone I've met who have also been a part of it to be absolutely amazing and so supportive.

That sounds so horrible what you went through. What I forgot to mention in my original message is that after we lost our daughter at 25 weeks (other than physically and mentally wanting to wait) we also wanted to wait to find out if she had a chromosomal issue that would have explained why she was so poorly and subsequently what that meant for us trying again. We were very fortunate that they were able to take a blood sample from our daughter whilst she was still in my tummy so that meant we had all the answers and didn't need to send her for a post mortem (it's so sad that I felt fortunate about that 😔) as I know it can take some time for the PM results to come back. We also met with a consultant around 10 weeks after her birth who told us it wasn't chromosomal but really bad luck, so this made us feel able to try again.

Thank you for asking, I'm struggling recently tbh after the 3rd loss, but I'm also trying to stay optimistic and the support we have had from the hospital has been amazing. Do you have a bereavement midwife? We do and she says to message her at any time and she likes to have us check in with her, which is amazing. Make sure to use these resources, as I certainly felt that I was being a hindrance to start with but I've been assured I'm not xx

Thank you for your support. It means alot.
Because it started with a bleed site quite far away from the baby, i'm quite confident the issue was with me and the consultant seemed to agree. He's specifically interested in checking my blood clotting. I hope those won't take too long to come back. I have alot of guilt that my healthy baby was thriving and my body came along and forced it out.
Have you managed to have any tests done? Xx

@Lithgow2000 I've never found a reason for my losses, I carried 2 healthy babies to term before them so it was genuinely a shock both times for us. My bloods were fine, no clotting issues. I'd had NIPT testing with both at 10 weeks pregnant so already knew there wasn't anything chromosomal with them and both post mortems came back clear as well. There was nothing structurally amiss with either of them either. They couldn't tell from either placenta if there had definitively been an abruption as both got stuck so were broken up so it could have been that as they can't rule it out. My husband and I have both had full genetic screening after the second, second trimester loss and there's no clashes in us (we already have 2 healthy children too). We'll just never know. There was no bleeding, both were missed miscarriages and found out at routine apts where a heartbeat just wasn't found which led to a scan which confirmed they had passed.

I've got an early anomaly scan to check this one in just over a week and I'm terrified, but what can I do 🤷‍♀️ pregnancy after loss is excruciating, but worth it if we get a baby at the end of it I reckon xx