May be someone need to hear that…

[Ks2023]

Last 2 years been so hard for me mentally. I been trying to get pregnant…. Obsession over BBT months after months, reading every single post about TTC, taking all supplements available, doing follicle count, blood tests, doing OPK non stop and pregnancy tests every months trying to find at least some very very very faint second line, asking endless questions on every form and listening every twitch in my body and thinking THIS IS THE MONTHS. last week I got my results….SECONDARY INFERTILITY . Spend week crying, contacting different IVF clinics, reading again, buying all the supplements, husband told me money not the issue we will do IVF and you know what???? Today it hit me very hard. I have one baby boy who is 2 now and this last 2 years I forgot that I’m a mum already. I missed out sooooooo much this last 2 years as I prioritised all my obsession to get pregnant over my little one. I forgot how to live my life, enjoy my life, spend more time with DS rather than reading how to get pregnant non stop. Today I decided that this is it. I’m not doing IVF I don’t wanna waste any more time crying and obsessing over tests ect I want to spend my time being a good mum to my son, he is growing so fast ❤️ no more tests, no more BBT, no more OPK if I’ll get one day pregnant it’s amazing and if not then so be it 🥰 my heart is full already and I’m mum already so I need to cherish it and be grateful. I wish everyone luck in TTC but please don’t forget to live your life ❤️

I get that it's a very important message to not forget to live your live .
I don't mean this in any way disrespectful at all but for some of us it's very hard to live life without obsessing about getting pregnant because for many of us we don't have any children and are not blessed to have experienced motherhood. When your having a very rough journey to getting pregnant it's kinda all you can think about.
I'm constantly stressed on a daily basis that I'll never get to be a mum. I don't think I'll ever be able to live a life to fulfillment until I can achieve this .
So for those like me , we've no option but to carry on

Don't give up hope @Ks2023 ...

I have a 19 year old DD, after a few years of nothing happening went to fertility specialists and was told "unexplained secondary infertility" so like you, I said fuck it - I'm not stressing myself anymore with all the constant tracking, testing, checking, obsessing, I was a mess. It got to the stage just before the appointment where I realised I wasn't having sex with my partner because I wanted to, it was purely to conceive (still never admitted this to him cause I feel awful, very much back to normal now though!). We stopped "trying" and said if it's meant to be, it'll happen, we agreed we didn't want to go down the ivf route.

10 years later.... I was at work (I work in Fetal medicine) during the pandemic and realised I was late. Went to triage for a test and ... he's 19 months old now, and a little bloody terror. When he was 4 months I fell pregnant again (despite being on desogestrel and taking the pill religiously), sadly that wasn't meant to be and I miscarried very early on (around 5 weeks). Much to our surprise shortly after, and again despite being on the pill and only having had sex 3 times since our son was born, fell pregnant again. She's 17 weeks now and the cheekiest baby who never stops smiling.

I never thought it would happen, after seeing the fertility specialists I threw the towel in, hubby always had hope but there were a few dark years where i definitely did not have any hope at all and had resigned myself to it not having anymore babies... don't lose hope, OP but DO live your life, I got so caught up in trying to conceive I stopped living my life for a while and it wasn't good. I did get my tubes clipped when I had our DD in June as our family is absolutely complete now.

Wishing you all the very, very best of luck and crossing my fingers, toes, nips, lips, anything I can cross for you ❤️

@ThisIsCharlotteYorkGoldenblatt I complete understand you hun for someone who don’t have any children and trying to conceive it very hard and sometimes very lonely journey. I wish you all the luck in this world ❤️ don’t loose hope my dear

@Seryse that’s so heart warming ❤️ hopefully one day life will bring us good news as well and our family will be complete as well. I’m not loosing hope but as you say I’m gonna live my life and have sex with my husband for pleasure as well not just because I’m ovulating I do this now as well 🥲 so I know the struggle.

I'll keep everything crossed for you ❤️ and yes, defo make sure you have couples time not just for conception, I still (10 years later) feel so horribly guilty about letting it become mechanical and just for the chance of getting pregnant. Praying that I see a thread sometime started by you with a glowing pee stick on it!