TTC anxiety

[HRHXO]

Hi, long story short I'm struggling with some anxiety whilst TTC baby no2. I'm 33 now and I have an almost 14 month old son, it took 10 months to conceive our first after irregular cycles.

My first concern causing me anxiety is that when I last fell pregnant I had just started at my new job and I was so scared they would think I was taking the p1ss with already being pregnant and I was so scared I wouldn't pass my probation look they would fond any excuse to get rid of me without using pregnancy as the reason. Anyway, they didn't and I'm now back at work after 12 months off and all is fine. I'm just worried if I become pregnant again if they will all be secretly annoyed and frustrated with me. I know it shouldn't matter what they all think and they can't discriminate but I'm still worried!

My second big worry is that my first was a preemie born 9 weeks early. Its been such a scary journey and of course I don't want to go through it all again but know its likely that I will. There was no real reason for my first to be premature, we THINK it might have been down to my previous LLETz but my midwife was aware of this and I was not consultant lead so assumed it wouldn't effect anything.

I'm a little anxious about spreading my love between two children too, I love my son more than anything and the mum guilt about wanting another baby already is killing me! Is this normal? I'm 33 and after my preemie I don't want to wait too long where I start getting older and increase the risk of complications.

Anyone got any comforting words for me? Also thanks for reading my ramble!

You're doing amazingly and it's understandable you feel the way you do. I don't have any experience or words of wisdom (aside from ttc) but I'm sure you'll figure things out, take one step at a time and make sure you take care of YOU x

Hey 👋 you’re not alone about the work worries & spreading the love between two kids. I’ve just finally got back into FT over the last couple of years (my dc is 3), and it’s been challenging to prove that I can juggle everything, but I have. I’m ttc baby no.2 also, and I probably will take at least 6-9months off this time instead of the 12m that I did with DC1. I guess we just need to think that we’re working mothers and so our priorities shift, but we can still multitask - God given gift lol
I read a quote that we can be replaced at our workplace but we can’t be replaced at home. Even if they get annoyed, so what! We’re giving our kids a sibling, best friend they’ll always have.

it’s also normal about worrying that spreading love gives you guilt, I feel the same when I look at my DC and think how out 121 time is limited now that we’re ttc, but a mothers heart grows in love, and we’ll have love for all of our children together.

Before you know it, you’ll have this all in hand 😇

Sending lots of love to you! Completely understand your worries and relate in lots of ways. I’m also TTC no.2, I got pregnant just over a year after starting my new job and am now TTC no.2 5 weeks after RTW! My little girl is also almost 14 months.

I’m very lucky that my little girl arrived at 37+2 completely healthy but I had a high risk pregnancy with lots of bleeding and a leak in my waters from 22 weeks so everyone was convinced she was going to be a preemie.

You are so strong for what you’ve been through and as others have said make sure you look after yourself and know that you will figure it all out. A sibling is such a gift and you shouldn’t feel any guilt (as hard as it is)

All the best on your journey x