OH support

[Lost006]

Hi all, not sure if this belongs in here or relationships.

Was all geared up to start TTC no 2 after having previous conversations with OH. Today I told him had a positive ov test and we could start trying. He didn't seem bothered so I asked him if he still wanted to try he said he's not bothered and it's me that wants another baby.

What would others do in this situation? I'm 36 so feel like I don't have a lot of time to waste (wasted plenty already prior to this chickening out). Have 1 DC after 3 previous mc's.
Not really sure what I'm asking for, just felt a bit alone and didn't want to tell anyone in RL.
Thanks for reading x

@Lost006 good morning. Sorry to hear that - must be so frustrating. Has he changed his tune as in now he doesn't want another or he's just not too bothered either way? Could it be the reality of trying again has caused him some worries about what if you have more losses etc and how that might affect you (both)? It sounds like you could do with a chance to talk again when the pressure is off a bit and really clarify where he's up to etc and what it means for you both going forwards.

I think a lot of men can find discussion of ovulation etc a bit off-putting (which is another topic for another day!!) - especially if it seems we only want them for that etc. Maybe one thing would be to try and keep dtd as fun and relaxed as possible and not making too massive a deal of particular days/timings, at least initially..?

I'm 37 and thankfully DH very on-board even after we've had two losses this year ourselves (MMC in April and a CP last month). It has definitely helped massively to really feel we are a team and in this together so I think it really is important you can try and get a better understanding of where he is at and why. And frustrating as it is to miss peak days for DTD (I know!!) - maybe write off this month and focus on sorting this?

All the best to you. ❤️

@SnookyPook thank you so much for replying. You are completely right about the pressure I hadn't thought about that. OH is always on the fence, can never made decisions about anything important. I feel like he's leaving the decision down to me so if it goes wrong it's my fault. He's not great at communicating so I'll not get a lot out of him! I'll be honest our relationship isn't at it's best and if it wasn't for my age and previous mc's I'd be putting it off for a year or so but I don't feel I can. Just don't want to look back and regret not trying for a second as it's already like a kick in the gut thinking about not trying.
Thanks again for replying I do appreciate it, keeping everything crossed for you x