How to get through the waiting

[kat167]

So, my husband and I were planning to start ttc after the new year but ended up having unprotected sex (I've been off bc for years) on day 9 of my cycle which is usually 26 days.

My trackinng app predicts ovulation today on day 13 but I usually experience ovulation pain around day 11, so I think I tend to ovulate on day 11 or 12. Anyway, I plan to test on day 23 and then again if I miss my period, but that means at least 10 more days of being in limbo.

Try as I might, I can't stop thinking about what if I'm pregnant. I'm suddenly hyperaware of my body which definitely doesn't help things.

Today, my appetite is weird and I have a headache (headaches are normal for me but this one doesn't follow the pattern). I know this is all in my head because even if I had ovulated on day 11 and the egg was fertilized, I wouldn't be feeling anything yet.

Any advice on how to distract myself over the next two weeks and not make myself CRAZY? Logically, I know that the chances of not being pregnant are higher than the chances of being pregnant, but I know I'll feel disappointed if I'm not. How do I keep myself from getting my hopes up ?

I don’t know the answer but wanted to pop in and say that I’m exactly the same….
I’m only 4DPO so I’ve got ages before I can reliably test, plus I’m on fertility medications that mess with your body so symptom spotting is pointless as it’s almost certainly all linked to the meds. It’s all consuming and I think about it constantly. I’m wasting hours on mumsnet and tiktok looking at all things conception, pregnancy and baby related. I’m faking seriously behind at work but I can’t stop!! If I don’t get pregnant this time and have to keep going through this every month, I’ll probably end up getting sacked. 😂

It's good to know that I'm not the only one...
I'm the same! Completely distracted at work, and having a headache doesn't help. I need to find some things to occupy my time but we moved about 6 months ago and I haven't met many people yet. Last night, I took a long walk and tried a restaurant I had been wanting to try, so that's something I guess.

Fingers crossed for you! I'm manifesting positive things :)

Knowing the odds and how much of a literal dice roll gamble it was helped me quite a lot.

I wasn't expecting to get pregnant quickly because I knew it was only around a 30% chance each month.

Even when sperm meets egg, which happens the majority of the time you have well timed unprotected sex, there's still only about a 50/50 chance it's actually viable.

Around half of blastocysts have chromosomal abnormalities that cause failed implantation or early miscarriage. This is totally normal.

You're just playing roulette each month hoping to get lucky. Some get lucky quickly and others take longer. Most will catch within 12 months.

There's quite literally nothing you can do other than cross your fingers and place your bets.

I think it sunk it by around the 4th cycle how low the chances really were so I relaxed quite a bit, I just assumed I wasn't pregnant. Also helped to know symptom spotting for me was useless as I get so many pms symptoms I figured nothing would really be different (both pms and early pregnancy symptoms are caused by progesterone, so almost impossible to differentiate).

I caught on cycle 5 and consider myself lucky it didn't longer. 9+3 now.

@XenaTheWarriorPrincess Yeah, you're right. I need to keep thinking about the statistics. I do statistics for a living so I should have an easier time with it than I am. But I'm reminding myself that it's totally normal to not get pregnant immediately and it doesn't mean anything is wrong.

On the other hand, I'm also holding out hope that I have my mom's fertility. She had always said that for both my brother and me she wanted us born three months later than we actually were... but she recently shared the delightful tidbit that in both cases they went on vacation and things just happened😂

I agree with PP - for me, zero expectation helps and knowing how much of it is pure chance. It could happen, it could not. There's a limit on what you can do yourself. Concentrate on one day at a time, don't think ahead even if you do get a BFP unfortunately that does not mean a baby. And sorry but fertility is not hereditary, so please don't be disappointed if it takes a while.

@DoloresOnTheDottedLine how are you feeling today?

Honestly OP, I've been TTC for 4+ years and had many, many rounds of fertility treatment. I still haven't worked out how to manage the two week wait. It's bloody torture.

@nutellacrepe oof, here's hoping all that waiting pays off soon ❤️

I’m trying to be zen but largely failing!! How are you feeling?

I’m about five or six DPO depending on when I actually ovulated and I’ve made a deal with myself that I’ll test next Thursday but not before. I don’t currently have any symptoms (not that there really are any for six days pregnant!) AT ALL - it’s bizarre, never felt so normal!! 😂So can’t even play symptom spotting!

The one thing I’ve done proactively to try and manage my own insanity is delete tiktok- if you’re not on there already, don’t get involved!! I was spending hours a day watching people take pregnancy tests - lunacy.

How are you managing yourself? 😊

@DoloresOnTheDottedLine Oh deleting TikTok was a good idea! I don't have it but I can see how it would be such a rabbit hole.

My rabbit hole has been googling a bunch of medical papers about average lengths of luteal and follicular phases and what they say about fertility. I don't think that's very healthy 😂

I'm feeling less manic but I've also developed this pain in my right side. I used to get cysts when I was on the implant, and it feels like that which is strange. They were never very big but I could always feel them, so I guess I might be somewhat sensitive, but I'm just telling myself not to think about it ha.

I should be 10DPO next Friday but I'm gonna try to hold out until Monday if I can