TTC becoming mentally draining

[LM88]

Rant I suppose more than anything else (had a few of these lately 😩)

I just feel like your mind is such a powerful tool when it comes to TTC, symptom spotting etc.

After a late miscarriage in April, I have been logging my cycles. Just the length to get approximate ovulation dates and record when we BD etc. I was randomly doing and recording ovulation stick results.

Anyway, since noting things down I can see average cycle lengths but this month, im late. Longest cycle Ive had since my miscarriage, all this talk of you being more fertile afterwards is a lie - for me anyway. I have taken 3 tests and not even a hint of a line, nothing so assume AF is on its way but why is it when you really start to focus on it, think you feel symptoms etc and become a bit “obsessive” things change.

My cycle has never been this long since I started recording, I never spot before my AF arrives, I have this time. Its absolute mind games & so emotionally draining.

I just fear that age isnt on my side (35) and I dont have the luxury of just taking it in my stride until it eventually happens as it could take years. When I fell pregnant with my loss, I think we DTD once whereas now its plenty more & not a sign of anything.

I think ill just feel better letting my feelings out here 😂

I feel your pain, I’m only on my 3rd cycle after my miscarriage but I feel like it’s taking ages and starting to feel like it might not ever happen.

Just a message to say you’re not alone and TTC is a tough one xx

It’s a really hard one, but you genuinely might benefit from taking a step back or at the very least finding something else to do to take your mind off of it.

I’m so so sorry for your loss. I’ve had multiple MC’s so I completely understand how you feel. But in my experience, for me at the very least, the obsessing makes it worse :/ I try to distract myself by reading, going for walks and adventures and I’ve recently started to learn the piano…

Regarding your age, fertility starts to decline at 35, but you’re definitely not too old so try not to worry about that so much. You still probably have a good 8 years yet where there is a possibility you can get pregnant.

Keeping all my fingers crossed for you 😊💕

@cosymama2020 thank you! As much as its difficult - it is nice to know other people understand how we are feeling! X

@TheWeeLittleDonkey thanks ❤️ & I know you are right, take a step back easier said than done but hopefully going to try this! X

I've been mentally drained trying for the past nearly 18 years . I'm almost 38 now.
I guess the only advice I can offer you is to never give up hope and be kind to yourself. Even now , hope is the only thing that really gets me through. We finally got pregnant for the first time in dec 22 but our miracle wasn't meant to be. I'm starting ivf stims in 2 weeks .
Struggling to get pregnant is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. As a woman you feel your job is to be able to get pregnant and nurture a child. When it dosent happen it can make you feel like a failure as a woman. Just focus on everyday and keep believing it can happen. You've still got plenty of time on your side.

I’m so sorry. I feel the same. I got pregnant 2nd cycle in jan 2021 had a mmc at 10 weeks. Then took 7 months to conceive DS, fell pregnant aug 2021 and had ds april 2022. I then got accidentally pregnant while exclusively bf my 5 month old ds which ended as a chemical. Then got pregnant first cycle period came back in jan 2023 but had to have a tfmr in May. Have been trying since and nothing still. All this bullshit fertile after just upsets me it is never true for me. After a loss when I am desperate to be pregnant all I get is hurt and disappointment. Everyone on social media seems to be pregnant right now. It was my due date this week and instead I’m not pregnant don’t know if I’ll ever get to hold another baby of my own. I’m so fed up.