TTC baby #1 for over 2 years - never had a bfp

[2022ttc]

Hi everyone,

My husband and I have been trying to conceive our first ever since we got married in June 2021 with absolutely no luck - never seen a bfp.

Have tried the OPKs, preeseed, and various other things but nothing has worked.

We finally spoke to our GP this month (we probably put it off a bit too long thinking something would happen by now). I’ve had my day 21 test and waiting for my AF to start next week to have the day 3 test. Also have my ultrasound booked for next week (internal and external). My OH is also doing his tests next week.

Just wanted to ask if anyone else is in a similar boat or managed to conceive naturally after 2 years? I feel really emotionally exhausted on this journey of TTC and am becoming really upset now with every AF and every single pregnancy announcement (there have been so many recently in my circle!).

Thank you in advance x

Hi,
I know the feeling of pregnancy announcements everywhere especially people who just got married, and much younger than we were! Myself and DH were trying for 7 years :(. I have PCOS. At the end I had ovulation induction and conceived on third cycle with it. Had a lot of wrong treatments, misdiagnosed and wasted time until took things into my own hands and insisted on the type of treatment I wanted. That time was the first and the only time I ever had a BFP in my life. I wish you all the best, I know it is a hard journey but it is worth taking whatever the outcome.

Hi @JohnnysMama, 7 years must have been a really intense and emotional journey - well done on getting there in the end! It’s so hard, lately I feel like an emotional wreck and ready to cry at any given moment this month. Now I’m worried about the tests and all the results etc

The results are always stressful and all the scans. Modern medicine luckily is advanced and can do a lot with a bit of hope from your side as well. I know it’s easier to say than live it, I’ve been there. You at least have periods which is a big positive, I don’t have periods regularly once every three or four years. And my last tests came back terrible and the consultant said my results are incompatible with pregnancy. I had high AMH, testosterone levels like a man )) , reversed LH-FSH ratio, absent uterine lining which is a “baby home” words used by the doctor. It was very upsetting I remember thinking that was probably it for us. Grieved for couple of months, then started reading different papers about TTC and found a treatment the most effective for women like me. Went back to a different doctor and said I tried this and that and it never worked now here’s what I learned and I want your opinion and tell me why I can’t have this treatment. She said who said you can’t, you absolutely can try it and I did. It worked almost immediately. And just to think that 5 months before I was told it is highly unlikely I will ever get pregnant without IVF.

@JohnnysMama wow that’s quite something. That must have been a really terrifying time with all those results and what the doctors initially told you. So glad you persevered and didn’t give up when they made it seem impossible. You’re right though, with modern medicine the options are endless - just need to remain positive. Do you mind me asking when you successfully conceived and gave birth?

Conceived in June 2022and birth in March 2023

I got pregnant straightaway with our first but after I miscarried it took us 2.5 years to finally succeed. Just make sure they check everything so you know where to go next,

Hi @2022ttc I got married in august 2021 and have been trying since then too and had no BFP either. After a year of trying I decided to go private and get myself and DH checked.. all our tests came out fine then was told to carry on trying for a few months then come and get my tubes checked if we was unsuccessful which I got done earlier this year which also came back that my tubes were fine and open then was told to try for another 3 months as sometimes after having that procedure done people fall pregnant as it can clear out your tubes but we didn’t.. so we kind of sat under the ‘unexplained infertility’ umbrella.
I’m now on my first cycle of letrozole and hoping this will be our light at the end of the tunnel. I can totally relate how upsetting it is going through it, sending you baby dust xx

@JohnnysMama really pleased for you! Wishing you all the best x

@Olika sorry to hear about your miscarriage but I am glad you had a successful pregnancy too. Thank you, will persevere with the testing - all your responses are giving me hope again x

@Gkb90 thanks for your message, it’s nice to speak to someone going through the same motions. It’s great to hear all your tests were normal - that must have been a relief to hear. It sounds like you’ve patiently gone through each obstacle, I really hope the letrozole works for you and you get your bfp very soon. Can really understand your angst and pain x

@2022ttc I think you'll know a lot more once you have all the results back - after 2 years, don't be surprised if something is off and is the cause of this 2 year wait. Hopefully regardless, these tests will now allow you to move forward in some way and get a bit closer to pregnancy and a baby. It took us 15 months. We started tests around 9 months and found a few issues which took some time to improve. We conceived the month before we were due to begin IVF with ICSI. I still think we were lucky and I really hope #2 doesn't take as long. I completely understand empathise with how you feel. It is exhausting mentally and emotionally. I think you've made a super decision to start testing! Best of luck!!!

Hi @FlyOnTheWall89, really happy that you got your successful pregnancy - I’m sure it was worth all the wait :) I too hope #2 is is a breeze for you! Part of me regrets not testing sooner, but if I’m completely honest, I was convinced that it would happen every month and thought we wouldn’t need to go down the testing route. I’m 35 now, and both my sister and sister in law announced their pregnancies this year (both unplanned and unexpected) and that really took its toll on me. Really happy for them both of course but feel really conscious and worried at every family gathering that someone will ask my husband and I when we plan to start a family

OP, I know exactly how you’re feeling - we also had a 2 year TTC journey with no obvious reason as to why. Tests showed no reason as to why we were struggling to conceive and we were on waiting list for IVF. In the end, I had a dye test (think it’s a HSG test) where they inject dye into you to see if any blockages in fallopian tubes the month after we got our spot on the IVF list. The Dr said that some people are starting to use this as a kind of treatment for unexplained infertility because there have been several studies to show that within the first 3 months of this procedure some people can fall pregnant because it’s thought it kind of flushes things out. Whether it was this or not, it was the cycle after this procedure that I finally got a BFP and we welcomed our daughter last year (the same month we would have been due to start IVF). If this is something that gets mentioned to you I would definitely recommend (esp if other tests don’t show anything obvious). It’s quite uncomfortable, a bit like a smear test, but definitely worth doing to investigate. All I can say otherwise is I’m sending you warm thoughts and hope that you can keep the faith. I know it starts to feel impossible at this stage but what helped me was knowing that I was never going to give up and that, one way or another, I was going be a mother. This helped me keep going. Sending love.

@MountainGoatLily reading your message made me so emotional I'm actually teary eyed - but tears of happiness for you and all the lovely other women out there who have gone through this journey. Really pleased for you, and thanks for letting me know about that dye test, will take them up on that offer if it comes up. Wishing you all the best x

@MountainGoatLily @2022ttc I had also had a HSG the month before we conceived our daughter. Definitely something to say yes to if you're offered it. At 35, you should be able to get moving via the NHS quite quickly once your test results are back. I paid privately to have my AMH tested too which gives you an indication of your egg reserve - I was 32 at the time and just felt this was necessary so I could decide how quickly we needed to move with things depending on the results.

@FlyOnTheWall89 @MountainGoatLily that’s great you both got your positive after your HSG, I had mine back in March but unfortunately didn’t fall pregnant after even though my tubes were fine. I’ve now started on ovulation induction medication

@Gkb90 ye I had completely clear tubes too. We had male factor infertility and for whatever reason, I do think it helped. I would definitely have another one if I don't conceive number 2 within 6 months.

@JohnnysMama @Olika @Gkb90 @FlyOnTheWall89 @MountainGoatLily

Hello, I wanted to ask 2 questions please if anyone can shed some light.

1. My period is due to start tomorrow, in which case I should be able to go for my day 3 blood test on Friday - does anyone know what happens if my period is late and day 3 falls on weekend / bank holiday?

1. I have my ultrasound TV scan booked for this Sunday (when I'll be on period). Has anyone done this when on period? The letter said it's fine to do whilst menstruating but feels a bit gross! Not looking to cancel or postpone is especially now I have the ball rolling

Hi @2022ttc , I’m glad you have the ball rolling! That’s great. To answer your Qs: I can’t remember exactly but feel that I was told if day 3 landed on weekend they could do it day 4/5. I would phone your Dr surgery/where you’re getting the test done and ask they should be able to help! For the TV scan, I never had one and agree the idea of it when on period seems odd. If you are comfortable with it and it won’t cause you pain then don’t let feeling squeamish or worrying about if it’s gross stop you - they wouldn’t do it while you’re menstruating if it wasn’t ok!

hope it all goes well xx

Hi - I'm another one in the same position as you. I'm 34 (35 later this year), started ttc in May 2021 but no BFPs. I got referred to my hospitals fertility clinic after a year - had the day 3 and 21 tests, had a HyCoSy, and probably some other tests I can't remember now. My husband also had a SA done. Everything came back normal - so we now have the frustrating diagnosis of unexplained infertility.

Even though I was ovulating, the doc tried me on 6 medicated cycles anyway - I had Clomid for 6 cycles, no joy. I'm now waiting to start IVF on the NHS.

I feel your frustration and sadness completely. I have a very hard time dealing with pregnancy announcements - I've had a few meltdowns in private after a friend or family member have announced theirs. I've found I've become very bitter about the whole thing, and I live in dread of who will be announcing next in my social circle. Infertility is an incredibly lonely thing to go through, and it can easily take over your life. What I've found helpful is online support communities - I'm not very active on here, but there's another one I use much more, and talking to other people who get it has been invaluable.

Sending you hugs - you're not alone x

@Hawkhall Hi hope you're well. Completely resonate with everything you've said. My period is due tomorrow and I took a pregnancy test today just in case and the negative just threw me off completely. I've been in tears all day and really snappy over small irrelevant things - my husband has been great though.

He's obviously going through the same pain but he's been my rock because as you say this journey is a lonely one. I don't really talk to my family or friends about this because I feel like it's something so painful to even talk about and I wouldn't know where to start.

Did you have much of a wait from the point you were referred to a specialist? I hope your ivf journey starts soon and that it's a successful one x

Hi @2022ttc - it sounds like we're at the same point in our cycle as well! I hope you've got some nice things to try and do some self care this week - I feel like the arrival of my period is always a good excuse for PJs, chocolate, and some trashy telly with zero judgement.

So our GP referred us in May 2022 once we hit 12 months ttc. My husband had his SA in the July (although ended up paying privately for that one, because at the time we were told the next NHS appointment for SA by us was November). I had all my bloods done around the same time. I then had a phone consultation with the fertility clinic at my local hospital in the August, and then I think I had the hycosy in the October. I did Clomid from November 2022 to May 2023.

Once we got to May 2023 and the clomid hadn't worked, they said they'd refer me for IVF. My experience from this point on hasn't been typical so I'm probably not a good source of info for this bit - my local CCG/ICB have been going through contract changes, and everything to do with local NHS IVF referrals has been thrown up in the air so my referral has very much been on hold since then. I'm now waiting on my local hospital who are in the final stages of opening a satellite IVF clinic, and I'm in the first group of patients who will be seen in this clinic once open - we just don't know when yet. They're hoping in the next few weeks. As I say, my experience for this part isn't typical - I believe usually it's 10-14 weeks from referral to starting IVF in the NHS, although that can vary depending on area.

When you do speak to a doctor about this, it'll be helpful to have any family history you're aware of, plus information on your cycle lengths, ovulation days, how much they vary, how heavy they are, etc - the more information you have (and therefore your doctor has), the better.

Thanks for your kind wishes - I really hope your next steps are successful too.

Hi @Hawkhall hope you're well. Thanks for all that information really useful and I hope things start improving on your side too!

I had my day 3 bloods taken on Friday and then I went for my abdominal and transvaginal ultrasounds on Sunday afternoon. Was ok apart from having to keep a full bladder for 2 hours lol.

Trying not to think about the results because it is what it is.

How are you all

Hello!

Hope your tests/results went well @2022ttc. We’ve been TTC for around two years now and never had a BFP either.

I totally agree with you - it’s so hard hearing pregnancy announcements, there have been so many since we started trying and all have fallen pregnant within a couple of months or without even trying. None of our friends are in the same position as us which makes it feel so lonely at times.

we were referred for tests a year ago now, but there has been a lot of waiting at each stage along the way. Ultimately we’ve been told it’s unexplained and are hopefully going to start IVF in the next couple of months.

You’re not alone! One thing that’s helped me is listening to podcasts - Big Fat Negative and Am I Ovary Reacting are good ones and have helped me feel less alone! X