Any tips or advice? TTC for nearly 1 year and losing hope...

[Tryingtobepatient001]

Hi there! I'm a newbie to mumsnet although have lurked in the background for a while. A bit of background - my partner and I have been TTC for nearly a year now, we're both 38. We've had initial fertility tests - his looked pretty good, high count and motility although morphology isn't great. My AMH isn't bad for my age, but had a transvaginal scan and I have cyst on one ovary and potentially a heart shaped uterus.
I'm losing hope, as I feel like we've literally tried EVERYTHING. I measure BBT on natural cycles every month, I do LH tests. Trying to follow SMEP and DTD lots in fertile window. I'm taking so many supplements I'm sure I rattle (including Unbiqunol, high vit D, folic acid etc), and this month to add to the mix, I had my first session of acupuncture.
I'm a self confessed control freak, so am finding this super hard. If anyone has any other tips on what we can do, that would be amazing! It's looking like it might end up being IVF, but would love to try and conceive naturally if possible!
Thanks in advance for anyone reading this x

@Tryingtobepatient001 I hope someone with some advice will be along for you soon! I couldn't read and not reply because I am the same age and trying to conceive my first. Already finding each month hard when I get my period, but only a few cycles in.

Best of luck and lots of baby dust to you 💓

Hi op. My one piece of advice would be don't just be trying hard in the fertile week.Try and dtd every two days throughout the month. I conceived my second at 41 and was taking pregnacare. No idea if it helped but worth a go.

Thanks so much! How many months have you been trying for? Hoping it happens quickly for you ❤️

That makes sense. We aren’t great at having lots of sex but I’m defo trying to convince OH to do it more! And I’ll check out those tablets 😊

Big yes to Pregnacare conception supplements. I also devoured 'it starts with the egg' by Rebecca Fett, helped a lot.

Hi, I was in your shoes a few years ago - taking all the supplements, tracking, trying all the old wives tales and trying to follow the advice of 'stop trying and it will happen' (the worst advice ever when you're desperate!)
I'm also a control freak so just went straight for IVF as soon as I was allowed to on the NHS. It worked on my 2nd transfer. And then unbelievably I fell pregnant naturally 11 months later on the 1st attempt of trying for baby no 2!
My advice would be to just get the ball rolling with IVF. It takes months of going through all the various tests and prep so why waste any more time? Especially if you want more children.
I felt so much better once I started the injections as it felt like I was finally in control of the situation and making progress towards getting our baby. Good luck!

Thanks so much. That’s my thoughts with IVF too, its a countdown to get it through the NHS (think we get one if we’re 39 and under in our area) so I wanted to get in there before it’s too late. Hopefully have our consultation around Oct time. Can I ask - did you go through the NHS or private? X

Sorry just saw you said NHS!!

I agree with pp who said speak to your doctor about starting the process now. Has she offered clomid? Have you asked?

are you both fit and healthy? Regular exercise? How is your partner’s health? Is he fit, a healthy weight, does he eat well, has he cut out cigarettes and alcohol?

The NHS IVF route can be a lengthy process. Can you get hold of Clomid in the meantime and try a few months with that while you're on the NHS waiting list?

You're taking all the right supplements so that base is covered.

Morphology is only a real problem if you're talking under 2% combined with a low count or poor motility.

What does Clomid do? I’ve heard it mentioned a lot but not sure if would be suitable or not? Both me and husband are pretty healthy, neither smoke and don’t drink much at all. We are healthy weights and work out a few times a week. 😊

Welcome to mumsnet 😊

I bought a 2nd hand copy of 'It starts with an egg' from ebay. Some really useful info to decrease chemicals in your body. I started DH on a lycopene supplement. Its found naturally in red/orange coloured fruit/veg, but some studies have shown it can improve sperm quality.

What type of cyst is it? Some can come and go without causing issues, others can be more problematic and affect fertility. My friend has a bicornate uterus. Her 1st pregnancy ended in MC, but now has 2, healthy children. I think she had more scans to monitor things. It depends on the degree deformity whether this could be an issue.

I used to plan weekends away during the fertile time, or even just a meal out, cinema etc and tried to make things fun.

Thanks! 😊 it’s such a supportive platform isn’t it?
I downloaded that book a couple of months ago and have scan read it (hence spending a lot on ubiqunol 😂). We’re pretty good at eating organic etc but definitely more we could be doing.
Im not sure on my uterus - am guessing they will discuss more in our consultation? I had the coil for 5 years with no issues so from what I can tell it must be more heart shaped rather than the wall right down the middle.
my cyst is a dermoid one - the lady scanning me didn’t seem too concerned but am guessing it might be affecting that ovary?! My right ovary looked fine though and had 7 follicles on the day of the scan which I think seems pretty ok? Who knows… I’m a nightmare with Dr Google but I don’t really have a clue 😂

Have you had a hycosy or HSG? This checks the shape of your uterus and also whether your tubes are clear.

Personally, I'd start to process of IVF- even if you decide not to go down that route. Due to waiting times etc, it could take ages and you might fall naturally beforehand anyways. Do also check the exact requirements in your area for NHS IVF. If you were say 39, and the cut off in your area is 40 (for example) your GP should be making a fast track referral to ensure as minimal delays as possible. I had to explain several times to my GP's receptionist what IVF I was allowed to have/not, have due to my age etc. She was adamant she knew it all and if I didn't have the knowledge to question her- I'd never have had my NHS IVF.

@Tryingtobepatient001 Clomid stimulates the follicles on your ovaries and there's a higher chance of ovulation every month and the potential of two or more follicles to produce a mature egg. Clomid basically increases the chance of you producing an egg or multiple eggs each month thus increases the chances of conception.

I haven't no. Do you think it would be worth going private for this? I'm going to keep pushing for our consultation - I phoned up last week and was told I need to call again closer to 12 weeks after the scan. I worry it's going to be a painful process! I'm under the fertility clinic now, do you think that means we're in the system? Or could we still get rejected?

Ahhh ok. I might speak to my GP about it then, although they now seem to just keep pushing me to the hospital as we're under them now.
I'm 99% sure I ovulate every month, as track BBT etc and see the rise around the same day. I'm not sure clomid would help if this is already happening? Or do you think it's still worth a try?

@Tryingtobepatient001 you might struggle to get Clomid from your GP. It's usually prescribed by a fertility specialist so this will either be once you're referred to your NHS fertility clinic or if you go private at an IVF clinic.

Clomid or IUI are much easier on your body compared to IVF so you might want to try those first. I appreciate that time isn't on your side though and if you want to get an IVF round on the NHS, you will need to skip these options.

@Tryingtobepatient001 I was ovulating each month too but my consultant asked me to try Clomid for 10 months. I used it alongside a mid month follicle scan and a trigger shot to force ovulation.

OOh ok. How did you find it? Was it successful?

@Tryingtobepatient001 I did have a pregnancy but it ended in a loss unfortunately. I am a Clomid baby myself though and I have 2 friends who have Clomid babies so it does have good results.

@Tryingtobepatient001 we have only been trying 3 months so I feel embarrassed for feeling so stressed already. I have also had a random cyst on all of my recent pelvic scans (had two before starting...both because I was concerned about my fertility).

I really hope it happens for you soon. Best of luck with getting any of the investigations or treatments you need...hope the GP and NHS are kind to you 💓

So sorry for your loss :-(

I'll definitely look into it, thanks for the suggestion

Its so hard not to feel stressed though isn't it? I've turned into a nightmare, then I get stressed about how the stress is making me act!! ARGH haha.
What have they said about your cyst?

@Tryingtobepatient001 "harmless, of no consequence" apparently. But not much info on why it's there, does it go away etc.

The stress is my biggest problem I think...and yes...so much meta-stress about the fact I am stressed!

If it does take us a while - which for a few reasons (history of PIV, suspected endometriosis) - I think it might, I hate to think what I will be like in 6 months, a year etc, because my baseline at 3 months is already very stressed and obsessive.

I don't want to derail your thread though - there are lots of people here who have been in your position and are out the other side!