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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Trying for second baby

20 replies

K0724 · 14/08/2023 20:36

Hi there,
hoping someone out there is going through/ been through the same thing and can offer some light at the end of the tunnel.
I have a just over 2 year old, who I was very fortunate to fall pregnant with the first month of trying. We have been trying for our second baby since may - not long in the grand scheme of things I know, but it feels like the longest time in the world and not something I naively was expecting being so lucky first time round.
As you can expect my mind is going to the worst case scenario, thinking there must be an issue and it’s never going to happen.
We are doing everything we can and tracking my cycle. I just feel useless.
Has anyone been through a similar situation and ended up pregnant shortly after? I keep seeing stories of it taking years for people to get pregnant with their second child and I think by that point I would have drove myself insane.

any help is greatly appreciated x

OP posts:
Fairy0708 · 14/08/2023 20:49

Hi

I'm in the same position. My first is 2 and was conceived in the first cycle. On my second cycle now, currently in the tww. Not yet tracking ovulation was wanted to give it a few months if needed. No advice but I feel the same! I feel so lucky with my first and I don't think I could go years with trying.

Original poster
K0724 · 14/08/2023 20:59

Thank you for replying! Nice to know I’m not alone, everyone around me seems to be on their second baby.
I feel so naive, thought I would immediately fall pregnant again. So hard having no control over something you want so so much x

OP posts:
Rosieposie0301 · 14/08/2023 21:06

I was in a VERY similar situation. 2nd cycle with my daughter who is now 3.5. And took me 6m of trying (feb - July) for my second and am currently 5+3days pregnant.
I started panicking after a few months and convinced myself something was wrong and was googling all sorts of things about secondary infertility. But then realised there is only 20% chance of falling pregnant each month.
I also was stressed doing my accountancy exams while working full time etc so I think that also played a factor in what took me so long this time round!
keeo trying, you’ll get your bfp soon!

PurBal · 14/08/2023 21:07

I know secondary infertility can be an issue: my cousin took 12 months and a friend took 8 months. Good luck!

Original poster
K0724 · 14/08/2023 21:09

Thank you for replying and congratulations!
Googling is the worst. I try to stop myself, but every month it drags me back in! Funny you should say that, secondary infertility is my latest obsession and I’ve convinced myself I have it 🙈 your mind does all sorts doesnt it.
Nice to hear you managed to fall pregnant eventually. Gives me some hope! X

OP posts:
Seryse · 14/08/2023 21:13

Probably not what you want to hear.... but I had 17 years of unexplained secondary infertility, saw specialists, had tests done, couldn't find a reason why it didn't happen, periods were still like clockwork too. Then I fell pregnant during the pandemic, when my son was 4 months old I fell pregnant (very, very unexpectedly, I was on the pill and breastfeeding at the time) but unfortunately had an early miscarriage, shortly after again still on the pill and my daughter is 9 weeks old now. Don't lose hope ❤️

Rosieposie0301 · 14/08/2023 21:14

Oh it’s so easy to convince yourself. Funnily enough I was going to call my GP then I got my bfp that same morning I was planning on making the call.

just know you aren’t the only one who Google’s and believes everything lol. Just keep going and you’ll get your bfp soon!

PinkButtercups · 14/08/2023 21:17

I fell pregnant with my DS first time trying.

3 years later we decided TTC baby number 2. It took 2 cycles that time and fell pregnant on the 3rd cycle.
I actually had a DD & DS and got baby number 2&3! We joke that my body missed 2 cycles and made up for it by giving us twins 😂.

I started to take folic acid when I was trying the second time round.

Original poster
K0724 · 14/08/2023 21:26

Oh wow, that must have been so tough 💕 so lovely that you got a happy ending.
I’m just so impatient as I person, which is not helping at all and a bit of a worrier with things like this. I really hope it happens soon x

OP posts:
clasmummy20 · 14/08/2023 21:27

In the same boat here.. been off the pill since end of March & no sign of our second pregnancy yet. I remain hopeful & telling my other half we have to do the deed every second night now, no complaints from him! Haha. Hope you all get what you're looking for very soon x

Original poster
K0724 · 14/08/2023 21:27

Oh wow twins! My partner jokes with me that after all of this stressing we will probably end up with two 🙈
I’m taking folic acid too this time round xx

OP posts:
Original poster
K0724 · 14/08/2023 21:29

it is so frustrating isn’t it. It’s not having the answers to why do you could try to fix it!
a lot of people I have spoken to said they stopped properly trying and tracking their cycles and it just happened .. but I know I will still obsess over the ovulation sticks!
my partner was glad of the break after our fertile window last month 😅😂 xxxx

OP posts:
Elg90 · 14/08/2023 21:41

Hey, we have a 2 and a half year old.
Started trying for no2 November and fell pregnant quite quickly but had miscarriage at 11 weeks which resulted in surgery in February.

Took me two months to feel ready to start to try again but not been in my favour. 😔

Mid TWW. 🤞🏼
My due date would be next week which I'm finding quite hard.

LovelyNanny26 · 14/08/2023 21:49

Hello OP
My first one was conceived after a year.Then when he turned 2 we decided to try for No2 felt pregnant pretty quickly but I lost it at 9 week.Felt pregnant again after 4 months she's currently next to me sleeping in her moses basket.You will get there too it just takes time.x

Blackberriesbob · 15/08/2023 00:03

Hi OP. An awful lot depends on age. Taking a while to conceive at 27 is very different to taking a while to conceive at 40. Age can be a factor in secondary infertility. I experienced unexplained secondary infertility in my early thirties. My best piece of advice is to act straight away and go private. Not in the UK but I wasted a few years on waiting lists for the public system when I should have just done tests privately. I have my second child now bit it took a few years.

Blackberriesbob · 15/08/2023 00:03

I conceived naturally in the end. Never found out why it took so long.

lemonsaretheonlyfruit · 15/08/2023 00:11

I had DD (like you, pregnant after month one or two of TTC) and had a great NCT group -we got on so well that 4 of us decided to try 2nd time around at the same time so we could all be off on mat leave at the same time. It happened really quickly for the other 3 but took me 5/6 months. Luckily it happened the last time I ever had sex with my now ex as he was having an affair and left me the day after what what have been conception. Thank god it worked that month as otherwise I'd be without DS who is now 13! Please don't stress. I have so many friends who just assumed it would be a breeze 2nd time round - they have all got there but it might just take a little longer.

Snowonthebeachx · 15/08/2023 00:29

In a similar boat have been trying for 7 months for a second. To be fair though the first took 10 months (5 months but then a loss then another 5) so I am used to it not being instant.

Stressed about my age though and the fact that it's been 7 months without anything so now worried something is wrong. Lovely to hear stories where it took 8 or 9 months!

Yellowrosesblue · 15/08/2023 00:50

My first was a few cycles then my second was 3 years ttc. I got the bfp a few weeks before hospital appointment for secondary infertility. The third child was a surprise and we weren’t trying. I’m an older mum though.

deliwoman1 · 15/08/2023 09:25

I'm on cycle 2 of ttc no.2. DD is 13.5 months now and she was conceived on our fifth cycle. I'd gotten pregnant on three cycles before that but two were early MCs and one was a self-resolving ectopic. The only cycle where we didn't conceive was 100% down to a burst ovarian cyst. It was a hellish time and my hyper-fertility then has left me with unrealistic expectations of how easily I should catch. Last cycle I was so shocked and disappointed it didn't happen, despite it being the first month of trying! I know I have to adjust my expectations, else it'll be a very hard journey for me and DP.

I was 38 when we started ttc DD, and she was born when I was 39. I'm now 40, so time really isn't on my side. We figure we'll try our best and if it doesn't happen naturally, then we're very lucky to have DD.

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