Help with stress and relationship with baby’s dad before birth

[Mumsfeed8071]

Hi all,

really desperately looking for some advise. I’ve had multiple miscarriages before but am now at 18 weeks and starting to feel happy and enjoy pregnancy rather than worry. The only thing getting me down is the babies dad. We are not together, I’ve always thought he would be a good dad but it’s just getting harder and harder and I’m having more doubts.

he really has no respect or thoughts for my feelings at all, he can’t get happy about the baby, he’s gone on holiday and decided he’s going to pursue a relationship with a girl in Romania that he’s met once, I try and speak to him about nice things like naming the baby and he just won’t respond for weeks on end which is meant to be a happy thing :(

I have always said and continue to do so, even if my child’s dad hurt my feelings, they would always still be in the child’s life and our baby will always think we are close friends no matter how much he hurts me and disrespects me. If I try and talk to him about things so we can effectively communicate he just gets horrible to me and makes me feel so bad about myself. Last night we were discussing baby name (he finally got back to me after saying he would weeks ago and then radio silence) I said in the nicest way poss coz I didn’t want to argue that we need to communicate better coz I’d been thinking for weeks that he just didn’t have an interest in naming the baby.

anyway long story short he kept on with making me feel rubbish, he’s bought so much stress onto me and has made this pregnancy so negative for me when I just really want to enjoy it now with my supportive family and friends, so I just blocked him. I feel so much anxiety about it today, I wouldn’t block him forever but I just can’t take it anymore when he’s making me feel so low about myself (im litro just a baby carrier to him he has no respect or ackoweldgement for my feelings) im not sure what to do moving forward, I feel anxious about blocking him but just thought at the time I need to just get in contact closer to the baby being born and just go through this the best way for me mentally, so just looking for some advise really on if it was the right thing to do or what I should do instead moving forward??

sorry for the long post, just riddled with stress and anxiety!

@Mumsfeed8071 Didnt want to read and run OP. I’m sorry you’re having a such hard time, especially after what you’ve been through. I think for that reason you just need to focus on taking care of yourself and your baby.

Do you have friends and family who can help you with this and maybe share in some of the anxiety and excitement? It’s fine to take a step back from dealing with the baby’s father. If you want to keep him updated once you’re feeling stronger, I would limit contact to the facts about the baby alone. I would lower my expectations dramatically regarding his responses. Remember you’re under no obligation to show him any courtesy if he’s causing you stress and upset.

Try to forget about him as a former romantic partner and focus on the baby and how you’re going to get yourself in the best position mentally and emotionally for welcoming them into the world! It should be a happy time, so don’t let some daft, selfish, excuse for a man rob you of that.