Worrying about infertility

[roldog]

Hi all, looking for some advice / experiences on this if possible please.

I'm 25 and came off my pill in October last year. I had been on it for 10 years before coming off. My periods resumed normally probably around a month or 2 later.

I have still not gotten pregnant since coming off of my pill even though we dtd more or less every day.

My last period ended a few days ago and I am going to give ovulation strips a go this cycle. But I am so worried that I may be unable to have children. I know it's a very sensitive topic so I really don't want to offend anybody but I just don't understand how I would not have gotten pregnant yet otherwise? It is really stressing me out and making me panic. I'm seeing others my age announce their pregnancies etc and although extremely happy for them, I feel worried that it'll never be me

Hi @roldog have you done any kind of tracking in the past at all?

In all likelihood, you don't have fertility issues (though I appreciate this is not the case for many, but most don't) and I'm afraid ttc just takes as long as it takes.

It can take up to a full year for the pill impacts to leave your system, especially where you were on it for 10 years. I was on it for 12.

I've been pregnant 3 times - first baby a mmc, and daughter, nearly 3, followed by son, 7 months. First pregnancy took 8 months to conceive and then I had my mmc. My daughter took a further 8 months of trying to conceive and then my son took 8 months to conceive. I'm afraid that for some of us, it isn't one shag we're pregnant. You either hear stories of it taking no time at all, or taking a very long time when in reality, it's perfectly normal to take up to 12 months to conceive when you're under 35. For now, keep trying and tracking. If you haven't used ovulation strips then there's a good chance you've missed your window!

@prayforthecottransfer thank you for sharing your experience, and so sorry to hear of your MMC

I have never tracked before, I've done the odd ovulation strip but haven't done them consistently so this month that is what I'm going to do.

I have been trying to think of that, being on the pill for so long I'd imagine it'd take a while to be completely out of my system. It's just so disheartening when each month nothing is happening. At my age I was silly to assume that it would happen pretty quickly!

Agree that it's unlikely to be infertility problems.

I would give yourself a wee break from TTC.

Book a few nights out with your DP/DH. Great drink and have fun together. DTD when you both want to, without thinking about TTC and just generally enjoy being 25 and having some fun.

If you do that for say 3 months, you'll be more relaxed afterwards and TTC might be easier

Have a read of the Sperm Meets Egg Plan - you can usually find it free online i think?

Any reason your other half couldn't have a problem (eg he's already got loads of kids)?

At 25 you're really, really young so don't stress it.
It's all a bit of a crapshoot tbh. Good luck.

*drunk

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto thank you, I think you are right! The stress can't be helping and I know im still young so there's no rush. A lot of people say that it happened when they weren't planning / stressing over it!

@HyggeTygge thank you, I'll have a read now.

No he doesn't have any children either. Going to try and not stress about it, and hopefully my time will come

If you do end up going for any investigation because you haven't conceived in a year or so, make sure he gets looked at at the same time (preferably first! ) - much less invasive and I think there is some stat like 1/3 of fertility issues being male factor.

Definitely give yourself a little break and have some nights out. It's so easy to get wrapped up on TTC and stress can actually stop you conceiving.

Agree with Hygge too. If you do end up going to the GP, go together and make sure he's tested before you are. I've heard stories of Women being tested for years before anyone bothered asking the Man for a sample.

@HyggeTygge @SiouxsieSiouxStiletto thank you both! That is a really good point actually, i automatically assume that if there was an issue it would be me without even considering him. I think I'll wait until October when it's been a year and take it from there

Get a pack of cheapie ones on Amazon and do them 4 times a day from 2 days after your period finishes. Once you have a peak, you are likely to ovulate 12-48 hours later, so you'll need to keep dtd.

I'd bank on it that you haven't been dtd enough around your fertile window. Good luck!! I really feel the frustration. That baby is waiting for you out there and you won't change your journey for the world when they're in your arms 😊

@prayforthecottransfer aww that is such a lovely thing to say and a lovely way of looking at it, that the baby is out there waiting. Thank you so much for your comments 😊

I've started the ovulation strips, all negative so far. I have only been doing 1 a day though, I didn't think of doing more?! X

@roldog my little girl was my one waiting for me after my mmc and I'm never happy of course that I had one because that baby was meant to be mine, but they weren't meant to be and she was 😊.

I believe you're most likely to peak between 2-10pm. It's best to withhold fluids for a couple of hours before an opk so it isn't diluted. I found that when it was peak though, it was clearly peak no matter how much I drank.

I always did mine with first morning urine, 10-11am, 3pm ish and when I went 8-10pm ish. Some months you might have a really quick surge where you'd only see a peak for a very short time, other times they hang about for ages. With my son, I saw a peak for over 24 hours.

Hi! As you are still young I wouldn't go for ovulation testing every month as after a while it takes the fun out of sex and sex becomes just means to conceive And you get stressed. Much rather you enjoy quality time with your partner to stay relaxed and it will happen. I stopped testing after several months as it was making me stressed and started to influence our sexual life. Instead I started listening to my body and I noticed at ovulation I become more aroused and naturally wanted to make love. I used that as an indicator to seduce my husband and it worked one month.

I’d say, try some quick fixed - like men wearing too tight undies, hot baths, smoking etc. Theres a really interesting tv show called Celebrity Save our Sperm which talks about easily reversible common causes of male factor. Plus, I wouldn’t start panicking just yet, as it’s only been 8 months or so. But, it wouldn’t hurt to try some different supplements.

Or

Tell the dr you’ve been trying for two years and get some fertility tests done. Have you ordered any online tests? They might help put your mind at rest.

Best of luck 💐

If it’s helpful then I made a spreadsheet for fertility tracking (there are also loads of apps that do it, but I preferred to print something off and fill it in).
I also have a short document I wrote for a couple of my friends summarizing how to track fertility and some tips for improving your chances of getting pregnant/having a healthy pregnancy. Feel free to PM me if you’d like me to send you a copy.
Tracking is useful because it not only indicates when you’re most likely to be fertile but it can also give some indications as to what problems there might be if you do have fertility issues.

It can take 3+ months for fertility to return to normal after stopping the pill (it’s quicker for some people and slightly longer for others).
You’re also only actually fertile for a maximum of 6-7 days per month. And peak fertility is only around 2-4 days per month. Unless you are consistently having sex every 1-2 days then there’s a good chance that you’re missing your most fertile days some/all of the months.
Using OPKs and tracking makes sure that you know when you’re most fertile. (You also have to use OPKs consistently and as directed because the ‘positive’ high reading can be a fairly short window- I had to test twice a day from day 8 until I ovulated to make sure I caught it).

Try not to panic yet, there are loads of things you can do to improve your chances of getting pregnant (even doing this person with good fertility only has about a 25-30% chance of getting pregnant each month, so it can take a while even if there are no problems). And if you try them for 6 months and you still aren’t getting anywhere then you can go to your GP and say you’ve been trying for over a year and ask to be referred for further investigation and tests.