Why am I doing this to myself

[bigfatmom]

Hi
I have posted on here a few times.

I am ttc my 2nd and for about 2 weeks I have felt menstrual with very mild aches and cramps.
Also mild waves of nausea but not that much to speak of.

I am cd 28 today still no sign of AF wondering now if this could be a sign of early pregnancy.
I have gone thorugh stages of convincing myself yes I am pregnant, and then other times thinking no there is still time for AF to come.

When I started ttc August 07 my AF went awol for 3 months and it was discovered that was due to a underactive thyroid.
I carried out loads of pregnancy tests to keep getting a BFN it really upset me at the time.

I was started on thyroxine and my cycle came back in Decemeber 07 and my last 2 cycles have been 33 days and 23 days.

Now sure if no AF when I should test, also cannot face a BFN as I have almost convinced myself I am pregnant which I know is ridiculous.

Also worried that cycle is going to take absence again.

I'm sorry I know there is not much that people on here can do but just wanted to chat.

I have answered your posts a couple of time I think.

I don't really know what to suggest. I think if you had a 'average' cycle, you could test now and expect a reasonably true answer, but since your's are not average it is a case of your guess is as good as anyone else's as to when you test.

Well done for getting so far without testing, many of us (me included) would have caved ages ago!

Maybe, you need to decide if seeing a BFN (that could possibly be incorrect) is worse than the waiting and the wondering?

Last month my cycle was 39 days and the whole thing really upset me as I am usually 28-30ish days.

By the time AF arrived I had done 3 tests, all with a BFN but kept on doing them in the hope that they may be incorrect as Af had still not arrived.

I know how depressing and exciting it is at the same time.

The only thing I would suggest is that if you do buy a test get one of the ones that pick up the pregnancy hormone really early that way you can be fairly confident when you get a result. I wasted money on two cheapies as I didn't believe the result when AF never arrived. It wasn't until I forked out on a digital clearblue that I finally believed the result - all in all it was an expensive month.

I don't know what to suggest really, only try not to obsess about it too much - which I know is easier said than done.

BFM, have you seen these?

Thanks NatalieJane

I may buy some of those.

I am not going to test until at least next Wednesday I think if AF not here.

I totally understand how you feel, I'm TTC but cycle varies from 21-35 days, so I don't even know when I'm ovulating and it's driving me crazy.

Luckily last month was 28 day so I have my fingers crossed that my cycle has now settled down since coming off the pill.

AF is due in 7 days and I'm feeling hopeful, but I don't know whether the feelings I'm experiencing are real or if I'm trying to convince myself that I'm pregnant.

I've been pregnant before and always thought that I'd know straight away the second time, but obviously I was wrong!

Also don't know whether to do an early test as I think I'd rather have a BFN than a sudden AF. God I hate the waiting! Arghhhhh

Well I am now on cd 30 still no sign of AF.
I still feel at times, but not all that AF is on its way.

I know I shouldn,t but I am sort of feeling hopeful, but I also get episodes where I think I'm probably not pregnant and I am probably just going to miss a AF or its very late.

If no AF by Tuesday or wednesday I will test.
Like you xxhunnyxx I don,t know whether I am just convincing myself and imagining the mild waves of nausea I am getting very occasional.

Hiya i went through all this over & over for last 2 and a half years. Am sure I used to delay AF just by thinking about it!

AM now preg 1st time 7 weeks. Preg test not positive until about 5 days after AF due & still very weak then. Was much more positive earlier this week.

Went to GP after 2 years of trying & got tested for why not yet preg - husband checked too all ok. Conceived 7 days after having HSG (tubes tested with dye) ??Coincidence??!! Wierd tho.

Definitely can feel preg tho when you are not. And also sometimes can feel NOT pregnant when you are! All very odd...

I can really relate to this. Am now on day 42, with no sign of AF, but have had 3 BFNs.
Rationally I know that I'm not, but until AF comes I really can't totally dissuade myself.
Breasts have been tender for about a week, but I keep prodding them to see if they're still tender, so probably now it's just bruising to blame .
I think you're right S&T - this is just a case of mind over matter. Now, if I could only will my receeding gums to slow down, and my sagging bottom to lift, I would feel that this experience had all been worthwhile!

I just wish that I could stop obsessing over it, I'd like to one day just think 'oh AF is late, think I'll do a test' but it isn't as simple as that, it's all I can think about all day every day.

It makes it worse that my better half works away a lot so he's often away whilst I'm ovulating (or at least when I think I'm ovulating) and I think this is just adding to my anxiety as I know I might not get a decent chance for the next couple of months.

I'm just praying for some implantation cramps tomorrow (8dpo)

xx

xxhunnyxx
We are in a similar situation.

I have no idea what my cycle length is never paid any attention to it before ttc terrible I know.

Cycle dissapeared once I started ttc last August due to a underactive thyroid.
I am now on medication and cycle came back December.

On its return I have a 33 day cycle and then a 23 day cycle.
So now I am cd 30 and feel like AF has been coming for over 2 weeks but nothing.

I am the same its on my mind day in and day out.
I just wish I could take the view that if it happens it happens and if not so be it.

I am feeling more pressure though due to my age 37.

when are you going to test then? keep me posted x

hi bfm
it is frustrating isnt it
i stopped pill jan 23rd
had last period jan 26th
i am on cd 34 today
took test cd 28 and today bfn
i have had cramps,nausea,forgetfullness etc.
at the moment i have tingly boobs and weeing more often
i am going to test mon morn if no af by then
good luck

xxunnyxx

I am going to hold out until Tuesday at least.

I have bought some tests off ebay which are hyper sensitive.

I have at times convinced myself that I am pregnant dangerous to my emotional state if I see a BFN lol.

So disappoitnting isn't it pinkgirl30.

I hate it when your cycle messes you around giving us hope.

I think mother nature likes to tease us.

we can both cross fingers for a bfp bfm