fed up with DH being too tired/too ill/ too something to do the "deed"..............

[herbgarden]

Sympathy please......December, felt under pressure to perform, January both had the noro virus, this month, managed day 11 of cycle but wanted to have another go on Day 13 and DH says he feels ill again................aaaaaaaaaaaaargh (in fairness he looks rotten). I suppose I have to stop being so hard on him and be a bit sympathetic,,,but am getting frustrated. DH finding the whole thing "knackering" apparently.....is it that bad ?!!!!!!!!! Help ! Do you all suffer from unenthusiastic husband syndrome?

Sarah76 - IKWYM about thinking back to when you first met and the amounts of rumppy pumpy! I could sob when I think how much effort I put in to NOT getting preganant and HOW MUCH SEX was wasted!! (only joking....well only slightly joking!)

My heart sinks when I read all the threads aout secondary infertility....must stop reading them!

Serious UHS in our household. Somehow the 'spontaneous' sex only happens too early or too late in the cycle... Any pressure and he can't perform, and there goes another cycle with absolutely no chance of bfp...

god mistlethrush I totally know that feeling! Feels like everyone is popping up pregnant - where i work, at the school gates, my neighbours, friends and I am struggling to get in enough shags on fertile bloody days - then people say "relax, it'll never happen like that , just have sex when you feel like it" well I did that the first 4 months of trying and feck all happened and I haven't got forever!! OK rant over steppiung away from the persona monitor and going to sob in a corner!

Oh lordy girls. I know just what you mean.

I've been pregnant four times in the past three years, though lost them all to miscarriage. Time is now seriously running out (I'm 42), so each month I feel more and more pressure to do sex at the right time. But damn my regular cycles - the right time is always on a Wednesday and Thursday. If it was at weekends - as I suspect they were when I conceived before - I'd be pregnant again by now.

I had been thinking that I'd sit DP down this weekend, and say that we've got six more months to give it a proper go, and then perhaps give up, but perhaps that's not such a good idea...

Herbaceous - perhaps you need to plan ahead and suggest to dh that you have a Thursday off every now and again (!) so that you can have some time together and not be quite as tired etc etc... Not that it would work for me either!

It just gets right on my nerves that every month I' feel under enormous pressure to catch the egg, and worry about supplements, booze, caffeine, agnus castus, water, cough medicine, etc, and engineering 'spontaneous' sex in fancy undies even though you feel exhausted, yet a little bit of pressure over two days of the month leaves the poor men coming over all faint and 'pressurised'. Grr.

I do feel a bit going to the recurrent mc unit where they are saying, leave it for 6 months, then we'll perhaps get a bit more proactive, and thinking that it would help if dh got a bit more proactive too! It is very annoying when you should be on a 2ww and you're not bothering as you know there is absolutely no way in the world that you've got anything to wait for.... Although I'm glad that I'm not the only one. And isn't it good to let off steam to some other people in exactly the same boat!

Glad we're all still moaning about UHS. We are only BDing now with a view to conception - it's just a about finished him off. He's gonna get a big shock when his 2 efforts this month don't end in a BFP......I think the more months this goes on the faster the penny might drop. I really wish they'd read the stuff that we do - it's like giving them a biology lesson each bloomin' month !!!

Message withdrawn

I was talking with a friend of mine...her dh is always up for it and she's not that fussed ....he loves kids she's not fussed. We decided that if we swapped partners she'd have no kids and her dh and I would have a massive brood !!!!!!!!!!!

Well, ladies, a salutory lesson for you.

I had a word with DP, saying we've only got a few more months to do it and we'd better start getting jiggy more, even if neither of us feels like it, and now I don't get a moment's peace. Be careful what you wish for!