Unsure whether to stop breastfeeding to improve chances of ttc

[Fagin99]

I've just had my third failed month of ttc baby #2, which I'm obviously upset about. I know that's not long in trying (dd took five months) but I'm very late thirties and aware of time.

I'm still breastfeeding 15-month-old twice a day (upon waking and before bed - never any more than this) but I can't decide if I should stop altogether in case it might be stopping my chances of ttc? I've had regular periods for ten months, I get positive OPK tests and ovulation pain mid-cycle, so I'd like to think I'm ovulating, but I know there's still a chance that breastfeeding could be interfering with things.

Has anyone else any personal experience with this? I'd hate to stop breastfeeding if it's not going to make any difference anyway (but appreciate there's no way of knowing either way).
Thanks in advance xx

My best friend (36yo) has just conceived in her first month trying with a 15 month old who's breastfeeding way more than twice a day. If you're having regular periods and ovulating I'm not sure how it could be stopping you from conceiving tbh?

Thank you for your reply, and congratulations to your friend.
Apparently prolactin can affect fertility in a small number of women, even if you're ovulating. It's rare, but one of those things you don't know if you're affected by, which is so annoying.

I had to fully wean however that was because AF wasn't returning despite monthly aches and pains. The month he stopped bf, my cycle started up almost straight after, and three cycles later I fell pregnant (unfortunately ended up as a mmc but the conception part obviously worked fine). As pp said, if you are ovulating, and experiencing cycles then I would think it should be fine. Good luck!

Got pregnant while feeding my toddler. She was feeding way more than twice a day! Good luck 🤞

I fell pregnant while BF but sadly miscarried.
I then wasn't falling pregnant so reluctantly stopped BF.
It took another year to fall pregnant!
I regretted the decision to stop BF as I wasn't quite ready and I don't think it was the issue. At the time I felt it was the right thing to do though as I was desperate to be pregnant.

Thank you so much for your replies. @SnookyPook and @Alloveragain3 I'm so very sorry to hear about loses. Thank you for your sharing your journey.

That's interesting that it still took a while in your cases and I'm sorry to hear you regretted stopping @Alloveragain3 . I appreciate your honesty and will make me seriously consider my situation.

That's reassuring to hear @BingBongBoo86 and congrats on your dc. Appreciate the good luck xx

Hi lovely. Totally in the same boat. I'm feeding my 28 month old once or twice a day now. It just gets her to sleep so easily I'm reluctant to stop, especially as she's just started sleeping through the night finally! And tbh it's still just a lovely thing to do and she waits so patiently for those two feeds a day. I'm actually in my TWW atm. Either 2/3 DPO so we'll see. I'm having regular 27/28 day periods and ovulating halfway through. This is only my third cycle properly trying as took 2 years to get periods back. But I'm 36 and feeling so desperate for another baby I think I'll consider weaning if I have to. Sending you lots of babydust and I'll keep my eyes on this thread!

Hi @secondtimelucky87, thank you so much for your lovely reply. I completely understand your reasons for not wanting to stop breastfeeding as well as your wanting another baby. It can feel so difficult to know what to do.
Wishing you all the very best in your tww. Sending lots of baby dust back xx

When I was trying to conceive my second son I was still breast feeding my first.

I was having regular periods, and had been for well over a year at that point, but pregnancy just wasn’t happening.

After 11 months of trying I went and spoke to my GP and explained the situation to her. She told me that the hormones that are involved in breast feeding can affect the chances of pregnancy in some women.

She told me that the breast feeding hormones can prevent the endometrium wall from building up enough, or being of a good enough quality to sustain a pregnancy.

She said that technically my husband’s
sperm may have fertilised my egg every single month for the last year, but the inhospitable endometrium wall would have meant the fertilised egg couldn’t have embedded itself and therefore it would not have progressed to a pregnancy.

I stopped breast feeding my son a few days after that (because of what the doctor had said) and I then conceived on my next cycle.

Thanks so much for sharing. I've got a feeling I'll be one of those women too. It's so hard though as my LO gets so much comfort from breastfeeding still. I'd feel guilty stopping before she's ready (even though she coped much better than i expected with nightweaning and reducing to 2 feeds). I also have no idea how I'll get her to sleep without. I'm wondering if it doesn't happen this cycle whether it'd be worth having some tests. Or whether it'd be pointless getting my hormones checked while still feeding? Did your GP run any tests if you don't mind me asking?

No because she was very sure it was the breast feeding.

I imagine a GP would only do tests if you stopped breast feeding but then a year down the line (as a guess) you still hadn’t conceived.

My son was 2yr 9m when I stopped breast feeding him and although I did feel a little bit guilty I still stopped as I didn’t want a large sibling age gap and I was also 33 years old and so I didn’t want to take any risks with my age either.

The upside was that my son wasn’t breast fed to sleep so I didn’t have that battle to contend with and it was just a case day-weaning. Also, due to his age it was easier to reason with him as he was able to understand when I told him there was no milk left. It took about a week before he stopped asking for feeds but generally the process was smoother than I’d been worried it would be.

That's really helpful thank you. My LO is nearly 2y, 5 months so a similar ish age. I find feeds around ovulation/periods excruciatingly painful as my nipples become so sensitive. So I have had to stop feeding after a certain amount of time and then finish by cuddling her to sleep. She doesn't like it but does understand it hurts mummy. I'll see what happens this month. But with textbook 28 day cycles and ovulating halfway through I think I need to accept I may just need to wean. I'm 36 so definitely not getting any younger!

I stopped breastfeeding at 18 months after a year failed ttc. It didn’t help, and I regretted stopping as neither me nor my child were ready - and it was something I loved that I never got to do again.

The problem was my eggs. If you are late thirties that is probably the same for you. My doctor told me that women release their best eggs first, ie my best chances for conception went down the toilet at age 13, and although I still ovulate I’m releasing the dregs basically. My specialist recommended donor eggs, which have a high success rate, I don’t know if that’s something you’d consider.

The NHS is appalling at fertility treatment and will not take you seriously until you’ve done two years of slow investigations. That’s time you don’t have. Get yourself to a top clinic like the Lister, ARGC or Zita Weat and have blood tests and scans to see what is really happening.

Hi OP, I wouldn’t stop in your circumstances (eg having periods since 10 months and ovulating regularly and feeling like you are not ready to stop). Even if you are having periods, Breastfeeding hormones can make you “sub fertile” for a while and TTC can certainly take a bit longer, but it usually will happen sooner or later, especially if you are ovulating regularly. Have you been tracking the length of your luteal phase? That is really key to indicating how fertile your hormone balance is currently.

I conceived twice while breastfeeding DD1 and DD2, and both times it took a little longer than expected. With DD1 I didn’t understand the effects of breastfeeding (I thought if my period was back that was fine) so at the time I was getting very stressed about not conceiving, but after about 6 months I did get pregnant.

With DD2 I was much more aware so I was carefully tracking cycles. It took the same amount of time, if not a bit longer with DD2 , but I noticed that things were changing as she grew, so at first my period came back but was irregular, then I started tracking ovulation and realised that my luteal phase was v short at first, but each month it was getting slowly longer. I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s not a binary you can get pregnant or not, each month changes and you become more and more fertile as your baby grows and becomes less dependent on milk. It’s a natural process. Btw , I was feeding wayy more than twice a day with both girls and night feeding too…
in sum if you are not ready to stop breastfeeding, I wouldn’t just to ttc, there’s no guarantees and breastfeeding is unlikely to prevent you conceiving if you are ovulating , even if it takes a little longer. X

How are you doing? I'm 8DPO and just waiting for AF to arrive like clockwork next weekend (or for a miracle this month)!

I'm thinking of trying out to Proov confirm PDG tests if it doesn't happen this month. Think it's meant to be a reliable way of confirming whether ovulation definitely happened if you're not into temping. I've also added a couple more supplements in the last few days (Coq10 and Omega 3). Just want to try a few things before making the difficult decision to wean. 🥺

Hi @secondtimelucky87, you must be feeling restless during this TWW. I really hope you get positive news in a week!
Funnily enough, I've just started some new supplements too, so really hoping for better luck this month. Good luck to you! Keep us updated!

Thank you also to all PPs for your replies. It's given me plenty to think about. I'm pretty sure my luteal phase is 14 days, so I'm trying to see that as a good sign. I'm going to keep breastfeeding for a little bit longer but will seriously consider stopping if I don't get any luck soon. We're down to such a short time now anyway (10 mins twice a day) I'm hoping it won't be too much disruption x

How are you doing @secondtimelucky87 ? Hope you're OK this weekend x

I got pregnant at 42 while breastfeeding my 18m old very regularly, my periods had come back about six months before, when I dropped one feed . OP if you are having periods then you are almost certainly ovulating .

I got pregnant at 38 still feeding a 2 year old and having very infrequent sex. It’s very difficult deciding to stop bf for whatever reason and I say that as someone who is feeding a 3 year old

My daughter has 3 boys age 18 16 and 15.. only 14 months between two youngest. She breast fed fully with all 3 for a year each ... so she got pregnant with 3rd while fully breast feeding and only had a two month break from feeding one then the other.

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This
Several PPs have successfully conceived while breastfeeding but that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting your chances.
If you have breast fed your first child to 15 months then providing you are happy to do so you could easily drop the breastfeeds now providing you are happy to do so. Check whether you would be upset if you stop feeding but still don’t get pregnant within the next few months. Would you regret it or would you feel it’s about time anyway ?
Drop morning feed first, then evening one a few days later. Possibly substitute a cup of milk instead.
At the end of the day you can’t breastfeed forever and have to stop sometime.
Good luck with conceiving your next baby.

Thanks so much for asking. 😊

I got my period at the weekend as expected. A 26 day cycle so still very regular if nothing else! Felt very down but also knew we hadn't tried much so wasn't expecting it to happen. Decided to take some positive action though and booked a consultation with an IBCLC I've known for a few years to discuss weaning fully. I just think with my age and history I have to accept I may be one of those women who has to stop. I started reading a weaning book with my daughter and ended up sobbing. Tbh I really wish we didn't have to stop and I'm not ready but I think I've reached a point the desire to have another baby outweighs that. I was also wondering about having the 21 day progesterone test this cycle to confirm whether I'm actually ovulating. I'm just trying to do all I can to maximise my chances.

How about you? X

Oh no @secondtimelucky87, I'm so sorry to hear this. I know how crushing it is when the period starts. It feels like such a loss and a heartache. So sorry.
But good on you for taking positive action. If you aren't ready to stop, I think that's a great idea to spk to a BF consultant and also test for ovulation if you can. There might be another way around it.
I am very appreciative of the advice from @Golaz who mentioned becoming more fertile each month. I hadn't thought of that before, but I am definitely noticing that each month I am getting more EWCM and my periods feel more like they did before I was pregnant (which isn't nice, but could mean improved fertility). So, thank you Golaz.
I'm just entering a new TWW so we'll see how it goes. I've just recovered from covid though, so hoping it doesn't affect anything!
Also, please don't worry too much about age. You should still have plenty of time at 36. Even my doctor commented that she had her first at 40 and is now trying for a second. She said that it can just take a bit longer xxx

Thank you also to all PPs. Each reply has been read and appreciated more than once xx

Good luck for this 2ww OP!