TTC in a new job - thoughts?

[SMurph22]

✨TW - MMC & Workplace Politics✨

My husband and I sadly had a MMC in Feb after 10 months TTC, shortly after I was offered a new opportunity in a different job and am much happier as I was miserable in my old workplace, I started this job on 3rd July.

I just wondered if anyone has experience with TTC after starting a new job? I love my new job but so miserable knowing our first baby would be due next month it’s killing us holding off when we both really want this. I’m 30 and my husband is 31 so I know we’re young but we ideally want to be finished having children by the time I’m 35 but it took us a while to get pregnant before and worried it takes this long again, I’m just lost at what to do.

I feel guilty as I’ve been given this amazing opportunity but also hate that I’m putting the potential views of my employer before our own desires to start a family, feels like us women are royally shafted no matter what we do.

My husband and I were thinking on trying again in the New Year by which point I’ll have been in my job for 7/8mths, does this sound ok or do you think that’s still to soon?

Thanks for reading and for any advice/personal experiences xx

Try now
Dont delay trying

Put yourselves first

Sorry to hear re mmc

My advice is to start now. Starting a family is clearly very important to you and no one can say what the future holds. So put yourselves first and get going!

Would you get enhanced maternity pay if you hold off? If you would only get SMP then start TTC as soon as you qualify for that. If you get enhanced then I would hold off as that can be worth thousands of pounds.

Hi, sorry to hear about your MMC. I agree with the last post - it’s definitely worth finding a copy of your company’s maternity policy and looking into what they offer for enhanced pay and what the eligibility criteria is (often it’s min 12 months being employed when baby is due) If it’s a matter of waiting 3-4 more months to start trying then it could make a big difference financially but if money’s not a concern for you, then life is short and you should put yourself and your happiness first. As much as it’s a great opportunity, the company will always be able to find someone to cover your job.

sorry to hear about your MMC.

The biggest issue you may have is that you may not be entitled to enhanced mat pay if you conceive quickly.

Don’t worry about work’s attitude. I did an internal move while already pregnant and my boss was happy for me. I was reluctant to apply for the job but my colleague said to me ‘Look, everyone in this office, at some point, WAS BORN’

Hi @SMurph22 don't delay it hun. By the time baby arrives you will have been in the job 9 months x

No I just get SMP, my probation ends 01/10/2023 so I’d probably wait until then at least to try but just so much to think about. I appreciate everyones comments re putting ourselves first and I think that’s what we need as I’m totally replaceable here! My time however with a baby is not.

As others said, if they pay enhanced maternity pay, check the policy. In my work, you have to be there for a year by your 25th week of pregnancy so DH and I waited until I would have reached that point assuming I got pregnancy right away.

If that’s not an issue for you, then as you said, why prioritise your employer over a family. You’re talking about a year’s maternity leave over a career hopefully lasting several years!

slightly different but I started my new job a few years ago at 12 weeks pregnant. I wasn’t pregnant at the interview, in fact I was off sick following a traumatic miscarriage at the time of interview. Similarly to you it had taken 9 months to get pregnant that time, then lost that first pregnancy so when I applied for the job I didn’t expect to fall pregnant let alone be pregnant by the time I started. But fortunately I fell pregnant a few months after the miscarriage and because the NHS recruitment is so slow, I was 12 weeks by the time I started.

they were fine about it, they had no choice not to be. I then was off for a years maternity, and went off on my second maternity leave (which I’m currently on) 18 months later. They’re still fine about it.

put your family first, work will be work, but it will work out fine I’m sure!

I'd wait if you need to be in post a certain amount of time to get the full maternity package, but I'm guessing that's 6 months (for you to be in post 12 months by week 26 or whatever the date is). Otherwise don't worry about what your LM or colleagues will think. It's nothing to do with them.

I do know the struggle and hurt though. I had an early miscarriage the week before I started my current role in March last year and have been TTC ever since. I just found out my colleague is pregnant and will be going on Mat leave at the end of the year. It's miserable. I love my job but currently majorly associate it with the shittines of TTC.