Looking for some advice

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Hello, first time posting. Apologies for the long post

Myself (36f) and my lovely partner (41m) have been together for almost 8 years. We’ve been TTC for a little under a year now with no success so far. I’ve had 4 or 5 cycles where I really thought we’d got it but I think I just jumped on every possible symptom.

We’ve both had initial tests with the GP and everything came back normal (bloods and sperm counts etc). We had a ‘suspected’ miscarriage at around 6ish weeks right in the middle of the first lockdown 2020 and didn’t have any follow up care due to all the restrictions. It was too late to find out much when I was able to get an appointment to speak to our GP. He was just really dismissive (no hate or shaming, I understand times were really hard for them all during Covid).

We are getting married in Nov 24 and AF has just arrived at the end of my 11th cycle. Honestly we are both feeling so defeated and the stress is exhausting. I lost my Dad, Grandma and Auntie within a year and I know stress can be a massive problem when TTC.

Has anyone taken a break from TTC at all for a year or so and still had success? I know I’m 36 and everything I read says to keep trying or we’ll miss our chance. I’m worried we have left it too late.

Thanks for sticking with it if you made it this far.

B x

No advice but didn’t want to read and run. I hope everything works out for you Xx

Thank you, I really appreciate that xx

Your post resonates with me so much, I could’ve written it myself! We’re almost exactly the same ages, we’ve been together for 8 years and TTC for a bit longer than you. Our tests all came back fine.

I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your family members, it must be such a stressful time on top of this TTC life…which in itself is a lot.

I can only give you my personal experience/thoughts. We’ve talked about taking a break but I’m so conscious of fertility declining over time that I’m reluctant to do that. So I’m taking all the advice & recommendations I get from others, investing in the best supplements I can buy and more consistently testing ovulation. I’m also planning to try TwoPlus conception device (which was recommended to me) next month to take the stress away from DTD. At this stage I think anything is worth a go and we’re also starting to look into IVF options. Good luck with your journey x

TTC can be incredibly stressful. Only you know if it is too much for you. Your mental health is the most important thing

But.. at 36, I personally wouldn't take a year break unless you think you would be able to look back in 10 years time, having not managed to have a child, and not think "what if" we hadn't taken that break.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Thank you both for your replies. It’s such a strange one. I never in a million years even considered we would struggle.

I don’t think waiting is a good idea. I had a long talk with my partner last night and we are just going to keep trying for now, but try and take some of the pressure off (easier said than done).

I’ve not looked at the Two plus device, I think ill do some research around those, and start looking at what ivf involves.

Thanks again, sending baby dust xx

For what it’s worth, my DM told a friend of mine to ‘get drunk and have sex on the wardrobe’. I don’t know quite how literally my friend took this but it worked for her and it’s apparently how I was conceived.

Have you been tracking Ovulation?

Yes, for 14 months now. I started tracking before we started trying when I came off the pill

Regular periods with a 32 average day cycle. And tracking using Ovia which is spot on for ovulation when using the LH testing strips

If you want a baby, and you’re 36, you cant afford to take a year off from TTC. Sorry to be so blunt. You’ve not missed the boat, but you know the chance is diminishing.

I’m 32 and I’ll be pursuing fertility treatment and IVF after 12 months of TTC. I’m 8 months in.

Thats what I’m thinking. It’s not blunt it’s just realistic x