Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Should I delay TTC until I find out my new mortgage rate

12 replies

rosetintedmemories2023 · 11/07/2023 21:31

I am 31 this year, DH is 33. We are due to remortgage in 2024. Our mortgage (for a small 2 bed flat in London we bought in 2019) is £1020, we have been overpaying £1000- £1250 every month. Our combined after tax income is £6700. We are probably one of the luckier ones but I still feel anxious because there are all sorts of apocalyptic predictions out there about interest rates being 9% or 10%! If rates were 7%, it would be £1700. We could probably afford it but I feel really antsy about TTC when things are so uncertain!

We were initially planning to move to a bigger flat in the same area (more of a lateral move and was not planning on spending a lot more even before the mortgage crisis) but we haven't got a buyer and honestly the market has slowed down a lot (while sellers are not willing to accept any price reductions). And I don't think we can afford to move to anything worthwhile. So probably staying put and feeling grateful for having my own place.

Would probably be paying full time childcare (though MIL has offered to help 1 day a week). Also another advantage of waiting (if I am not moving) is I have pet gerbils in the second bedroom and they are around a year old. Their lifespan is around 3-4 years, so I guess it would be good if I only need the room after they pass on ( 1 year of pregnancy + 1 year of baby being in my room would be 2 more years easily excluding the TTC). Also there is apparently 30 free hours childcare in September 2025 for 9 month olds (though I would not be relying on that to pay the childcare fees), but even some help is better than none, so should I delay so that I can 'qualify' for that.

Love to know anyone's thoughts and please be kind.

OP posts:
Original poster
rosetintedmemories2023 · 11/07/2023 21:32

Sorry forgot to add that we are due to remortgage in July 2024...

OP posts:
SoSadForCav · 11/07/2023 21:41

It's not an easy decision to make, but, personally I think- getting pregnant isn't a given & once you know you both want a baby then stop preventing one. Give yourselves the best chance to have a family. Financially there will always be a reason to wait. the only thing I'd consider (financially) would be to consider maternity leave. Is there any benefit wrt that which would make waiting a good idea??

Original poster
rosetintedmemories2023 · 11/07/2023 21:52

SoSadForCav · 11/07/2023 21:41

It's not an easy decision to make, but, personally I think- getting pregnant isn't a given & once you know you both want a baby then stop preventing one. Give yourselves the best chance to have a family. Financially there will always be a reason to wait. the only thing I'd consider (financially) would be to consider maternity leave. Is there any benefit wrt that which would make waiting a good idea??

no benefit except that we would have saved more if we waited.

I was actually quite tempted to TTC after seeing my SIL with her new baby. she told me quite frankly that her and her DH don't have the money for the baby but are doing it anyway. Well the 8 month old baby is going to daycare now, they had a brief scare where her DH lost his job but he got a year severance pay and he seems to have found a new job now, they seem to be able to afford their rental. I felt quite tempted to TTC in Jan even though I was starting a new job so I decided to do the middle road and use the rhythm method as my method of contraception (thats how I was conceived over 30 years ago). I am either infertile or am bloody good at the rhythm method because I am on my period and its July.

Bearing in mind that DH and I just celebrated our 8 year wedding anniversary this weekend and we have used the withdrawal method exclusively for nearly 9 years. And so when we do the rhythm method, we are also using the withdrawal method on my fertile days (sorry if TMI).

OP posts:
Mangotango39 · 11/07/2023 21:58

@rosetintedmemories2023 It's a hard one and one I battled with.

I would have been better to wait and save abit more but broodiness took over and I wanted to get going and try after 2 prev losses (through accidents) and a pcos diagnosis. I thought I was in it for the long haul . Now pregnant after our first month trying! I will be 30 when baby is born. Obviously really happy!!!

What's hard is, you don't know how long it could take. could be first go, could be another year or more. It's abit of chance .
It's sensible to wait until you can afford it but they'll always be reason to wait longer also.

I think it depends how much you really want it right now.

Tuesdayschild2006 · 11/07/2023 22:02

I think if you know you definitely want children and you haven't conceived after effectively not using a reliable method of contraception for 6 months, then I would properly start trying as you don't know how long it will take and while there are plenty of people having babies even in their early forties, it's still a fact that fertility declines with age. The mortgage thing is scary I agree, but I think a higher cost of living is probably here to stay for a while, so you could be waiting longer than you want to feel financially comfortable.

Original poster
rosetintedmemories2023 · 11/07/2023 22:06

Tuesdayschild2006 · 11/07/2023 22:02

I think if you know you definitely want children and you haven't conceived after effectively not using a reliable method of contraception for 6 months, then I would properly start trying as you don't know how long it will take and while there are plenty of people having babies even in their early forties, it's still a fact that fertility declines with age. The mortgage thing is scary I agree, but I think a higher cost of living is probably here to stay for a while, so you could be waiting longer than you want to feel financially comfortable.

i haven't been using a reliable method of contraception since 2015 so 8 years. Used withdrawal.

OP posts:
Original poster
rosetintedmemories2023 · 11/07/2023 22:08

Tuesdayschild2006 · 11/07/2023 22:02

I think if you know you definitely want children and you haven't conceived after effectively not using a reliable method of contraception for 6 months, then I would properly start trying as you don't know how long it will take and while there are plenty of people having babies even in their early forties, it's still a fact that fertility declines with age. The mortgage thing is scary I agree, but I think a higher cost of living is probably here to stay for a while, so you could be waiting longer than you want to feel financially comfortable.

rhythm is just much more risky than withdrawal. As I was tracking my cycles using the kindara app and only asking dh to withdraw on my fertile days.

OP posts:
Tuesdayschild2006 · 11/07/2023 23:07

Ah ok well maybe you could both just get checked out in terms of your fertility to reassure yourselves before you properly start trying. You could also give yourselves a run in by taking prenatal vitamins, optimising your diet etc.

Jk987 · 11/07/2023 23:30

I'd say start now. There's literally no perfect time to have a baby just like there's no way of knowing how long it will take.

12RedRoses · 12/07/2023 10:28

Definitely start now and have a low threshold for going to get initial tests if you’ve been using those contraception methods for all this time. Semen analysis privately is only around £100. And it’ll be much more fun for both not using the withdrawal method!

pmd88 · 21/07/2023 22:34

Wait.

Mostpeculiarmama · 21/07/2023 22:37

If you've done withdrawal for eight years and not got pregnant, you may have fertility issues. Better to start now.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page