TTC Number 2.. Feel like time is running away

[ttcnumbertwox]

I always have wanted two children and envisioned a small age gap between them but it just isn't happening 😭

My LO is 27 months and it just doesn't seem to be happening for us with number 2 and the age gap is getting bigger and bigger as the months go on

Is anyone else in the same position?

Every month I am beating myself up that it hasn't happened whilst everyone around me seems to be having their second

I'm CD8 so about to try again but just feel so disheartened

I understand. My LO in 29months and I also wanted a small gap. Only two years between me and my Sis and I'd always envisaged similar for my kids. Unfortunately just had a MMC in April - would have been due end of Oct and was so happy the gap would still be under 3 years... Now back to square one and ever increasing gap. It got me really down when the loss was fresh but I am managing to put it in perspective a bit more now.

The other day, the neighbour came over to play .. she will be 7 in October and the two of them have started to build a lovely friendship despite a 4 1/2 year gap. The other day they were playing on the drive on their scooters, making a den in the spare room, playing giant Jenga and all sorts. It really reassured me tbh as I know when our rainbow baby comes along my little one will be a fab big brother and still able to have lots of fun with his little sibling. I am also a bit of a 'things happen for a reason' person, so am choosing to see this as we will get the perfect age-gap that our family needs. 🤷🏼‍♀️ It'll be what it'll be regardless so may as well see the positives 😊

@SnookyPook sorry to hear about your MMC & that it's taking longer for you as well 😭.

Sounds like we are very similar. Me and my sister are very close in age which is why I always wanted such a small age gap as it's all I know and we got on so well, I just wanted the same for my kids.

That's so lovely to hear about your LO and your neighbour. I know in some ways a longer age gap will be so much easier but it just really feels like it will never happen.

Did it take you long to conceive DC1?

I am in a similar boat and feeling much the same way as you… my little one is a similar age and I would have loved a smaller age gap, but it isn’t happening yet and I am feeling so disheartened

I feel reassured by your though post @SnookyPook and I think that’s a good mindset - I tend to think things happen for a reason too, so hopefully in time to come we will find it’s worked out well for our little family

fingers crossed!

@ttcnumbertwox yes my sister and I are super close too 🥰 it definitely influenced my preference on this!

DC1 only took 4 cycles. Once my periods started again it only took 3 cycles to conceive my 2nd pregnancy - it just took ages for my cycles to start up with breastfeeding. I had to fully wean him in the end before they returned. Realising that what I'd have to do etc took over a year. I guess its a plus that I did conceive quickly once they came back. Especially as I'm now 37. Hoping it won't be too long again 🤞🏻

Good luck to you, and you @Devann ❤️

Probably not what you want to hear but we started TTC when DD was 2.5, we had a early MC 7 months into trying, a ectopic which started rupturing last September, started trying again Jan as had to recover from surgery, still no BFP and DD will be 5 this month. I'm trying to get to a place of acceptance, we're a 1 child family, I'm nearly 40, we've been TTc for 2.5 years, I only have one fallopian tube, however we just can't quite bring ourselves to stop and let it go. It's a shit journey over which you have no control x

@ttcnumbertwox
Hi,
I just came across your thread now and just wanted to send you hugs & support. I am TTC for baby 2 since 2022. I have a 6 years old daughter she was conceived nearly after 2 years of trying, at the end the HSG test may have unblocked minor debris in my tubes and I was pregnant next month.

Waited for daughter to start full time school to try for baby 2. Fell pregnant quicker this time round, but had 2 recurrent miscarriages, was and still am shattered and heart-broken. My second miscarriage was around April 2022 and since then no bfp. Have been tracking ovulation, have regular cycles 25/26 days, tried lying down and raising legs after dtd, but nothing is happening. Don't know seems like after second miscarriage we are struggling to get a bfp. I turned 35 years old this June and went to see the gp. FSH,LH, progesterone results are all fine. Husband has a semen analysis this coming week, once results have come through gp said we will be referred to a fertility clinic as gp said I don't need any medication as I am ovulating.

The cost of living is very expensive at the moment and so after all the bills & rent there isn't much money left to think about private fertility investigations.
it's very hard just feel why is this happening, feel sad and frustrated. There have been occasions where I feel like giving up when AF arrives, I cry and pull myself together and say to myself just wait and try again it's a new cycle.
you are not alone, thinking of you and it's a horrible experience to go through.

@MaybeItsJustTimeToStop

So sorry to hear about what you went through, must be very hard for you. I am in a similar position as I have 1 daughter she is 6 years old and since trying my best to conceive ( tracking, dtd every day during fertile window, lying down etc) I have reached a point of being physically & mentally exhausted. There are days where I feel like just stopping and just being happy with 1 child, but I also have many moments where I feel like carrying on its so emotionally tiring. I had 2 recurrent miscarriages last year and since then have been struggling. Been to the gp and undergoing basic tests. I am 35 yrs old and husband is 37 yrs old. With all this going on there are 2 family members who are expecting soon and I am happy for them but just so sad for myself. I went to do shopping for baby clothes for them and I was nearly in tears.
One close member once said that she falls pregnant when her husband just looks at her. Most of my family know about my struggles and I have talked about my miscarriages with them, but to be honest with you they don't understand.
One person in the family even asked if me and husband knew how to do it🙄

@Bighugs88 I'm so sorry you're experiencing this too, and I'm so sorry to read about you miscarriages. My DH did actually have a cry in a shop in December when I was buying baby clothes for my friend's baby. I'm on holiday at the moment with extended family and AF has just shown up 4 days early 😡. People are so insensitive, most don't know we're still trying, those who do say you need to stop tracking and relax. Erm no, that's not how it works, we have got pregnant twice whilst tracking just can't stay that way, plus now the EPU would want to see ne from 5 weeks as I'm classed as high risk for ectopic again, so being relaxed and not knowing dates would be really unhelpful. its so annoying that people behave like it's something you have control over, because that also then implies it's your fault. Fingers crossed everything works out for you x

I just wanted to come back and update that I got my BFP in mid August. Now it feels like all that worrying for nothing.

How is everyone else getting on?

@nwdx have you changed username? Either way glad to hear you got your BFP. I wasn't around in July when this thread was going but felt like posting this myself as I'm currently not having any luck TTC number 2 and also looking like we will have an age gap of over 3 years now unfortunately. Glad to hear your good news though. How much of a gap will you have?

@nwdx that's lovely to hear! Congratulations! Unfortunately I had two further losses after my previous post, a CP in Sept and a MC at 7wks end of October. I then got a referral to fertility and decided to have a break from TTC over Christmas and stopped tracking etc... Much to our surprise someone seemed to want to make an appearance regardless... Got another BFP end of Nov and am now 9wks. Feeling very tentative still but saw a heartbeat at 7wks. Got another scan in 10 days. Really hoping this is our rainbow baby 🙏🏼🌈💕

I also got my BFP in mid August! I am due in April and the age gap will be a little over 3 years.

@mumsince2021 yes I name changed, should of said sorry! Baby number 2 is due in April so we will have a 3 year and 1 month age gap which I've come to terms with and know he understands a lot more now and is also more self sufficient. I do still wish the gap was smaller but there are positives to a longer age gap. Hope you get your BFP soon, have you been trying long for number 2?

@SnookyPook sorry you had two more loses but so glad to hear you are currently 9 weeks pregnant! The first bit really goes so slow especially when you're anxious I think anyway. When are you due?

@Devann me too! Due April 27th so will be 3 years and 1 month age gap

I have a 6 year old daughter, actively trying for 4ish years. it’s sucks. Had three ivf transfers fail. Had a miscarriage last month. And I’ve decided to try and see things differently. Actually I have loved my time alone with daughter and think having two close together means you can’t enjoy each individually so much, and now when (not if!) I get pregnant again I get to do it all again with an older sibling that can help out sometimes and enjoy that big sister role. The only negative I see is different hobbies and interests which is hard for days out but realistically how often do people have big days out. Day to day I think a big gap can be lovely. This outlook has taken years to see but im getting there.

@dancingmonkey that's how I had just started to look at it. And when people asked about number 2 I had started to tell them I was just making the most of my time with my son. And then the next month I was pregnant.

I really hope you get your BFP soon. TTC is so hard. I struggled more mentally the second time than I did the first which I didn't think was possible

@nwdx thank you! Yes this first trimester is dragging somewhat, although having Christmas in the middle has helped and been quite a good distraction! All being well I should be due early August. Will be just over a 3 1/2 year gap in the end. Definitely trying to embrace the positives as others have mentioned. One of which is I'm hoping my eldest will be properly potty trained by then!!