Having a conversation about going 1 to 2 soon…

[staleryvitas]

I feel nervous as I was firmly 1 and done, so I’m worried that DH will be a bit miffed that I’ve gone back on my word. He initially wanted more, but as a happy only myself- I basically sold him on the idea. He is now really vocal about the merits and has done all sorts of reading.

When we’ve spoken about it, we’ve wanted a really small age gap as to increase the likelihood of them being playmates. I also would like to offer them both the same SAHM experience, and I don’t relish being out of work for nearly a decade as I want to go back to a career eventually.

Baby is approaching 18 months, so that window is closing. They’d already be 3 school years apart even if I was lucky enough to get pregnant tomorrow.

Still very unsure about it all tbh. My DH is a wonderful man, I’m not worried or scared of his reaction- but few like a bit of a donut for nailing our colours to the mast. I didn’t expect to feel so broody so quickly. I expected this to be a few years away, and it would be very easy to talk myself out of it due to fear of going back to nappies/sleepless nights.

Any thoughts or words of wisdom?

I’m in a similar position, and have decided to go for it. This is impacted by my age (37), the fact that DH wants another and has done for years, and as my existing child has made it clear she has always wanted a sibling - she’s 9. Can you take some time to sit with it and see what develops? I was also firmly one and done - for quite a few years - but started to think about it and it took about a month to make up my mind. You both have to be fully on board though.

Thanks for your response. I will definitely try to sit on it for a little bit longer, but i’m scared of too much indecision. We said we’d reassess when she was 1, but that was a few months ago now.

Once I consider any delays like adjusting after coming off the pill, running a marathon i’ve planned and waiting until a big couples holiday is over next year- I’m looking at a 3+ gap assuming everything works out quickly and as it should. (I know things don’t always work out as they should either and I’m scared of that too.)

I’m definitely one and done if the gap is too big- it would have such knock on effects to my career.

We're TTC atm, I have a 19 month old (today) but I worked it out that they'd be 2 school years apart not 3? A 2 year age gap is a small age gap! Just talk to your husband he might be feeling the same!x

My DH always said 1dc, I wanted 2.

When I had dd, I was pretty traumatised with the labour and birth (failed induction - 11 hours on that god awful drip and not even 1cm in that time 🫠 so ended in me demanding a c section which I regret… I could go on but anyway)

We knew when dd was about 6 months and we weren't so overwhelmed with becoming parents that we definitely wanted one more and that we would start trying the end of this year. I am now 5+1 weeks pregnant as I had a discussion a few weeks ago about why wait… let’s just get these hard few years over us quicker😂I am 33 and Dh is 34. If all goes well with this pregnancy there will he a 22 month gap!

We’re about to start trying for no.2. DD is 1 this week though. I sort of feel nervous of the opposite happening! DP is an only and would’ve been happy with one and done, but he’s really come around to my way of thinking. As I’m 40 now, I’m worried it won’t happen/will be a rougher ride than we had before DD stuck, which was bad enough. With you on the smaller gap, though. I don’t have time to muck about but even if I did I think I’d struggle to return to the newborn phase if I left it too long. I also love the idea of them being playmates and being into similar things.