Can't shake the thought of a baby!! Newlywed... Will it pass?!

[glovepillow22]

Background here - been together 11 years, married for 2 months and since the day we tied the knot I cannot seem to shake the thoughts of trying for a baby!
I am 30 and my partner 35. He's in no real rush but aware he is mid 30s - he wants to enjoy this year as a married couple, book the holidays and make the most of it. I totally agree but my thoughts seem consumed! Does this go away? Or is this my life now? 🤣🤣
We don't use contraception (pull out method and tracking via an app has been our method and we both accepted that it may happen unplanned which wouldn't be a big deal, obviously we were more careful around the wedding dates and used condoms). Anyone else had a switch turn on as soon as they got married? Literally never felt like this before ever!

Do you have any health issues that might delay conception? Overweight/pcos/family history of issues, etc? Or your husband?
If you're overweight I'd recommend tackling that first. If other fertility issues I probably wouldn't wait as getting things sorted can take years.
If no health issues, I think at 30 I'd wait a year like your husband wants. It's really so much better that you are both really keen and excited. Unless you want six babies? In which case you should crack on!

@Gingerwright no health issues that we are aware of! And neither of us are classed as overweight, rather average I would say. Ha ha definately not 6 but more concerned about his clock ticking than mine, although he isn't worried.

I’d say it might be more to do with your age than the fact you got married. I started wanting to have a baby around 30.

Re clock ticking… the woman’s age is more important than the man’s so it’s easy for him not to be in a rush!

If you want to have more than one child I would start trying this year personally, you don’t know how long it will take. You can still book a holiday, start trying on the holiday!

Hi 👋 Also 24/7 thinking about having a baby. The last few months for me, since my last birthday I turned 34. I married a year a go and was fine, was happy to just enjoy married life as the two of us but like I say since my birthday, I am consumed! So would say maybe it's all age related, it's like ours bodies seem to have this strange way of telling us it's time 😂

My husband, while he says he wants kids, is quite happy as we are now. Wants to wait until we have a big holiday complete next year. I just want to crack on, the holiday can't be moved or could still go... But now he's talking about financial things, waiting for the perfect moment I think 😭 which will obviously never happen.

I don't have any advice, other than explain your feelings to your husband, I'm really bad at this and it's just been eating away at me. Getting better at it now, little talk at a time. I'm just at a point where I don't want him to feel pressured into anything.

@IItstime2023 I think we are living in the same situation!🤣🤣 I literally never saw this happening to me, never been broody in my life but all of a sudden consumed by the thought.

Found it so hard to bring up for some weird reason, despite it definately being on the cards for us. I've said I am keen and will let him have a think.

All I can contribute is… there will always be reasons to delay … I have done it both ways. TTC #1 aged 27 and was by no means ready in terms of finances/housing etc but no regrets at all at doing it then. Now TTC #2 aged 37 after saying we were one and done, sudden broodiness is upon me. Now have more financial housing and job security but worried I have left it too late and missed the window for a close sibling relationship with my existing DC. No regrets either way… there are always outside factors to consider, my hunch would be to go ahead if and when you are both keen.

Personally I wouldn't delay given your ages

The thing is, women are under pressure to have children. Of course you 'can' have a baby 40+ and many women do, but it's not always possible for all women, and it's harder on your body, you're more likely to have health risks for you and the child.
It's a fact of reality and you need to be able to have an honest conversation with your husband about how you feel. You can wait but it's never a given, and the chance does decrease as you age. No one can argue with that. Ultimately it's your body that will go through pregnancy and child birth.
Also, I think most women experience exactly what you describe (not all) but the longing to have children can be indescribable and all consuming. Our body is well in tune with itself, and there is a reason when you turn a certain age it becomes like that.

If you ever want to pm me please do! We could probably use the support ❤️

Personally OP I agree with your husband! 30 is still a good age and life changes drastically with a baby (sat here nap trapped with a 16 week old). Of course babies are wonderful and I wouldn’t change my situation for the world, but I had my baby at 34 (husband was 37) and we’d done some wonderful big holidays before that that just wouldn’t be possible with a baby/ young child. Totally your choice and there are pros and cons both ways!

You've been together 11 years so being newlywed isn't really a factor is it? Just get on with it, better to find out if there might be problems sooner rather than later and if you really love it you can fit another 3 in 😄.

Just to add, I did have a private fertility MOT when I was 31 to reassure myself I had no issues. Had the result of this been different I may have a different view on it!

His age is nearly irrelevant, yours is extremely relevant. If you want a family, I would get working on it right away. 30 is the perfect age, and it still allows time should you discover you have fertility issues. Don't be one of those women who puts it off until their mid to late 30's, for no good reason and/or their husband drags his feet, only to find they can't conceive.

I get the idea of a switch flipping when you get married! It was exactly the same with me and even though before getting married I wasn't bothered about having kids, since getting married last year I just felt so secure in the relationship and keen to have them! Maybe your subconscious liked the protection and security it gives you too? Definitely just talk about it with your DH though!

It could be your age, as soon as I hit 30 I found it consuming my thoughts and it never had before, if anything I was leaning more the other way! 5 months in now and will never look back 😍

@mmarleyandme I think you've hit a good bit of the nail on the head!

I wouldn't delay too much either. I started trying at 32 and we had our second at 40 in the end. If you are in a position and ready to have kids I would get cracking!

@IItstime2023 how are things?!

Congratulations on your wedding! Yes, I also started to want a family after I got married, I was 28-29 I think. Had first DD at 30 and my only thoughts now are… why did I wait so long?! I could have been enjoying being her Mummy for the last ten years!

I used the pull out method.. DD is 13 😂