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TTC for 6+ months

9 replies

Celia272 · 13/06/2023 21:18

Title says it.. 32, have now been ttc with DH for over six months and still nada. I track every month - last month I used both Amazon strips and clearblue just to cover the bases. Decided to pay for testing last month (mostly for peace of mind/pre-empt any issues) and which came back all fine for both of us. That made me feel more positive for a bit - and now it just feels like a kick in the teeth to get her another “not pregnant”.

I just can’t shake the feeling that if everything was fine, it would’ve worked by now - we’re doing everything “right” and so logically there must be something wrong which the standard tests can’t pick up.

It is really difficult each month in the days leading up to my period and bracing myself to see if it arrives, then the inevitable kick in the gut when it does, and feeling like I’ve let down my dh each time when I tell him. There is also a lot of external family pressure which makes it more difficult, and I am continually made to feel like I’m letting both sets of our parents down as we’ve been married for a while and they still don’t have grandkids. My younger sibling has now decided to ttc with their partner (they’ve been together a much shorter time) and I feel like a terrible person thinking that it’ll work easily for them and that I’ll just get bitter, and that our parents will just be dismissive.

Has anyone been in the same boat or able to offer words of wisdom? I know maybe this isn’t a huge amount of time to be trying but I really didn’t anticipate how difficult it would be emotionally! I’m open to IVF etc, but obviously you need to have been ttc for two years for the nhs.. and the thought of just continuing on with monthly disappointment until then (and then knowing ivf may not even work etc) is pretty tough. :( The friends I had who do have kids had them easily - so I just feel quite alone in all this and I guess want it off my chest!

OP posts:
Bluebell0921 · 13/06/2023 21:48

No advice but feel like I could’ve written this. Same age. Been TTC for 6 months and really thought I’d be pregnant by now. I’ve had a break this month as I had to have a routine MRI scan and going away next week and want to be able to have a few drinks and enjoy the hot tub. It’s done me the world of good having the break!

Lcb123 · 13/06/2023 21:51

Similar here but I always assumed a year is normal so not worried. Try and keep the rest of your life full.

Bluebell0921 · 13/06/2023 21:52

i read to quickly and missed the bit about the family pressure. I’m so sorry you’ve felt pressurised. It’s so hard coz people are often not doing it maliciously but it’s so hard to hear when you’ve been trying and it’s not happening. I’m lucky that I have an older sister who has 2 young children and so I feel that’s taken pressure off me but I still find a lot of people ask. A colleague asked me the other day and I was gob smacked. My best friend just had a baby and got pregnant from 1 time of trying. I do find it hard sometimes when she’s complaining about how hard things are with the baby, it’s hard not to feel resentful which is so unlike me as a person but I just try and be compassionate to myself. Easier said than done!

GB91 · 19/06/2023 18:06

Hey, no advice to share unfortunately but I usually just sit quietly reading the comments on this page however I felt I could relate a lot to what you've written so thought I would reach out.

I just turned 32 and have been TTC for 4 months properly but before that we were of the mindset 'if it happens it happens', unfortunately it still hasn't and I've had multiple family members and friends announce they're pregnant in this time, most of them with their 2nd baby. I get told 'youre next' each time which doesn't help! I've felt a little bit sad each time (I had a little cry a few times to my other half) but at the same time trying to remind myself that I'm not a bad person for that just really want that for myself too. We were considering TTC during covid but decided not to at that time, I had a little nephew born in that time and I was worried I would be a little bit off with my brother's new little family as I was starting to want that for myself (he is older but I have been with my partner longer- 7years) but it wasn't like that, I love my nephew and if your sister does fall pregnant, you could be surprised at how you feel and bond with a new neice or nephew then. I think allowing yourself to feel the emotion whatever it is is important and helps with processing, over time your feelings may change. I currently have suspicions that both my sister in law's may be pregnant but I might be paranoid about it too, as I would love the next announcement in the family to be from me.

It is hard to keep it in, I'm trying not to tell my close family and friends what I'm going through as I feel that would be more pressure if they were aware so I often feel overwhelmed with things too, so many emotions!!. The 2 week wait drives my crazy and I have definately felt sad telling my partner every time AF arrives or a negative test again, it isn't nice. I'm not sure if this helped, feel I rambled on there, but I hope knowing others may be going through similar might be of some comfort, and here's hoping we get our own BFP soon x

SP83 · 28/06/2023 11:26

I understand how you are feeling, we've been ttc for 10 months now, each month it's harder and harder, I feel like it's all I can think about at the moment. We haven't told anyone that we are trying but I know both sets of parents are waiting for the news. I feel like I'm letting my husband down each month.

We've had tests etc they tell us nothing major is showing in them however we have an appointment tomorrow for fertility, and to say that I am feeling anxious about it is an understatement.

I wish I could offer you words of wisdom however I can understand how you are feeling, I wish it was easier...

Magssss · 28/06/2023 11:29

Just to encourage you, I have 4 kids now and only one of them was conceived in under 6 months. The longest time it took was 17 months (1st child) so there may well be nothing wrong. But I do understand how difficult it is to stay positive when it’s not working yet! Best of luck

emmatcc1 · 28/06/2023 11:48

Been trying since september last year and I’m now on cycle 12. Really feeling like it’s never gonna happen.

Girlfolk · 28/06/2023 12:15

Sorry to hear you’re feeling this way, I can relate, it’s so hard not to constantly think about. I’ve been TTC for 6 cycles now for baby number 2 which I conceived my first on my 6th cycle, I’ve also fallen pregnant twice without trying in the past but both ended in miscarriage. I just think why is this time taking longer and scared my d&c 6 months ago has had an impact on my fertility.

Bex4567 · 30/12/2023 08:03

Any update ladies anyone get bfp

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