To try or not to try, THAT is the question!!

[roobarbandcustard]

Hi all . Just looking for a bit of advice if anyone can help please! This might be long, so apologies in advance.

DH and I decided to TTC about 2 years ago and after one year and no luck we saw doc who referred us to fert consultant, who basically told me I was too fat to conceive (his words!!!! ) and that I had to lose weight before he would even consider treating us. I understand the reasons behind this, although of course I was very upset, so I am in the process of losing weight(2 stone so far ). DH and I decided to stop trying as we researched the overweight thing and pregnancy and decided that it could be quite risky (personal choice- no disrespect intended to anyone)and I decided to finish my degree and make sure that we were both a bit fitter.

So my dilemma is, I finish my degree in September and it looks like I have a job practically guaranteed (HURRAY!!!), however I will be working for the NHS and as I understand it, if I have been working for them for 52 weeks by the 11th week prior to the date of expected birth I will get much better maternity benefits. DH and I were going to TTC from Jan 09, however if I get PG straight away I will miss out on this better leave, although the likelihood of this happening is prob, sadly, quite slim. If we wait til April then I will get it.

Is it worth putting TTC on hold again, or should we just crack on and deal with whatever happens? Don't mean to be shallow, just considering our options- DH will be 40 this year and I will be 33. !!

Any advice much appreciated!!!!

OOPPPSSSS, sorry, I have just realised that my thread title is very similar to the to bake or not to bake one. SORRY, I wasn't copying, honest!!

It would be better to wait for the better maternity benefits but it all depends on if you and your dh can wait or not.

I dont know if I could wait but thats me.

And dont worry about the thread being similar.
To bake or not to bake is for people like you and me(kind off) waiting to ttc so come and join us!!

If the extra benefit is more money, I would work out whether or not you really need it. You get much more time on maternity leave nowadays anyway (it was only 6 months with my 2) and you will possibly find the NHS is a more flexible employer than private companies which is a benefit in itself.

The problem is some people conceive straight away and for some it takes more time. You could wait until April and it could take 12 months and you will be kicking yourself or you could start tyring now and catch straight away and wish you had the benefits. Which is worse?

If its what you both really want I would just go for it.

I really think it does depend on you personal circumstances. If you can afford to only have SMP (thats all I get where I work) then maybe waiting is a bad idea. It may have been the only thing stopping you ttc was your weight or it maybe you have further problems. The longer you leave ttc the longer it will take to find out. As Kay said if you ever want to join us on our waiting ttc you are welcome. We are all waiting (although a few have fallen off the wagon and are going for it, such as Kay) but most of us are waiting for various reasons such as weight loss, financial commitments, enhanced maternity pay, new jobs etc. At least if you do decide to wait you can have some company, be warned though, they only rule of the thread is no information is TMI.

Thanks for your thoughts . It is a purely financial issue, we would be able to manage on SMP but things would be tight, but then a baby needs love and security not loads of money! We both def want to go ahead and had been focused on Jan for a long time, so I think your comments have just confirmed what I already knew really- January 2009 here we come!!! OOOOOHHHHHHH, sooooo exciting!!!!

Good luck roobarbandcustard.

I'd nip over to Tobakeornottobake if I were you!