How do I concieve a girl?

[pushchairmad]

I have 3 boys desperate for a girl but scared of trying as I don't want another boy, of course any baby is a joy so don't get me wrong, I just really want a girl! HELP!

London Lottie - I said that adopting 'lots' of children from different cultures is problematic.

I didn't mention having natural children with non white partners. It's entirely different.

I haven't seen any other direct quotes and references - I've seen personal views stated. Everyone has a different view, I'm expressing mine I'm not trying to convert people.

but you haven't backed up any of those views. e.g. you say that a.j's lawyers harrassed zahara's mother to give her up for adoption - where is the evidence of this? You can't just go spouting that you think celebs steal the babies of innocent victims without backing that up.

Please don't jump on me, just wanted to share this with you.

I do believe the authorities in this country prefer to place children with parents of the same culture
My aunt has been a foster mother for 20+ years. She had a little girl placed with her 7 years ago who was black (aunt is white). This little girl was 3 weeks old when she arrived and in a terrible state, and my aunt did what any mother/human would do and loved this little girl.
After 6 years of living with my aunt the authorities decided she was to be adopted and refused my aunts application as she wasn't the same culture/colour as the little girl who was now calling my aunt her mum

transracial adoptions have their issues. There are however not enough multi(ie more than two races) racial adoptions around to draw any conclusions. You could ask a couple of Mumsnetters who have children adopted from more than one country what they think though for a opinion.

Social workers prefer to place within ethnic groups - of course they do. It is by far best solution if possible but its rarely possible.

Once a child has been relinquished for adoption there is no ideal option anymore - at that point it becomes the next best option and there is a kind of hierarchy of desire includig but not exclusively race.

I'm not an ideal parent - I'm single, I'm a differnt race to my DS, I work, I listen to the Archers. I am still many million times better than the option of growing up in the institution he was in and beleive me - people weren't queueing around the block to adopt him - three months premmie, extermely delays teh size of a six month old at 1yr, suspected cerebral palsy. Many of the chidlrne show these kinds of challenges becasue of the conditions they live in. Even the best institutions (and DS's was very good) aren't good

I don't know how old your DC's are but imagine a 5 year old who lives in a dormitory room with beds about one foot apart. Everything is communal - no clothes or shoes of their own that fit - just whatever comes off the pile first, no favorite toys, no favorite food, same meals every day with slight seasonal variations, no days out no books, no bedtime stories, don't bother crying becuase it doesn't have much affect.

Fast forward to 15 - life is most likely on the streets in crime or prostitution or ended early by suicide or illness. And to be honest no-one much will care anyway unless you keep in touch with your fellow inmates children becasue no-one "owns" you, you don;t belong anywhere or with anyone.

Dealing with multiracial issues is a price I'm afraid my son will have to pay for the chance of a better life than that.

wendy - increasingly social workers are accepting that the 70's thinking of same ethinicity only has gone too far and it isn't so uncommon to find transracial adoptions in teh Uk anymore (though not so common in London) ironically children who aren't adopted are overwhelmningly palced with white foster carers. Oh thats much better then

I agree Kew, surely the child happiness should take presidence. Whats to say a black adoptive mother is gonna be any better than a white one

Wannabe - I investigated the case of Zahara, there is no question the mother is alive and there is no question the adoption agency and the 'fixers' knew this.

make it a 'mistake', as in, your dh is supposed to pull out when orgasming but some accidentally spills. it worked twice for me (not on purpose)

To conceive a girl: Have sex 3-4 days before ovulation. It might take a while to get pregnant but when you do, it will probably be a girl.

The idea is that you have XX chromosomes, so the sex of the baby is determined by whether the sperm carries the father's X chromosome ('girl' sperm) or his Y chromosome ('boy' sperm).

Boy sperm is quick but does not live very long. So if you have sex at or after ovulation, it is highly likely that boy sperm will get to the egg first and fertilize it, and you will have a boy.

Girl sperm is slow but lives longer. So if you have sex several days before the ovulation, boy sperm get there first but die off waiting for the egg. Girl sperm come in slowly, fertilize the egg at their leisure, and you have a girl.

I hope that helps. DD is an 11th day baby and my cycle was over 30 days at the time.

Anyway - we've hi-jacked the poor woman's post. She only wanted to know how to conceive a girl.
Answer: You can't. It's 50/50 every time.

so where is the evidence then? Where are the links to the sites where this is all confirmed?

It's one thing to debate something when you have evidence to back it up, but to say "I know this to be the case and you are wrong" without providing any material proof is quite another.

so link to the artacles you have researched that prove that Zahara's mother is alived and that A.J's lawyers threatened her into giving up her daughter and I will debate with you. But without evidence it's just someone staying their opinions on a topic imo.

my sons motehr is (presumably) also alive, she hasn't seen him since the day he was born.

1 - why is it AJ's fault that everyone (including the grandmother) lied about the fact that the mother was alive?
2 - where was the concerned mother in the year before AJ came on the scene? Do you really beleive if it was me who tipped up to adopt the child that she owuld have reappeared? Maybe you do, maybe I'm too cynical
3 - are you an investigative journalist? If so I'm sure you have published what you have discovered - I'd be really interested (genuinely) to read it.
4 - its possibly that the agency deliberately offered this child to AJ knowing she ought to be with her birth mother, in my experience there are plenty of children wihout parents around to care for them to bother with faking information on the ones who do. Again, only my experience but it is based on knowledge of hundreds of adoptive parents who have subsequently traced brith paretns and not one I know of has claimed to have had their child "stolen".

kewcumber - I followed your thread when you were adopting your DS but haven't caught up for ages. Just had a look at your profile and saw how happy and healthy he looks Gorgeous smile!

To the OP - I would definately advise against "going for a girl". I'm not saying you're a terrible person for wanting a girl, but if you get another DS, how will you feel> How will he feel? And if you have a DD, how will your boys feel?

CoteDAzur - I remember reading that method, and that it's (apparently) based on fact, but that it changes the chances from roughly 50/50 to something like 40/60.

OP - don't do it unless you are perfectly happy with the 40% chance of another boy.

I don't know how anyone can say chances are 40/60, since there is no study on the subject.

how do you know there is no study!?

No need to get shirty though, I honestly can't remember where I read it, or if it was a reputable source or not (may not have been), but obviously there are no guarantees, and so my point to the OP remains.

CoteDAzur, in my own personal study of that method the success rate was 0% Have 3 fab boys and another on the way!

I would think dh and I wouldn't have a 50;50 chance of a girl, I reckon by natural methods it would probably be more like 80:20 in favour of a boy.

i have a boy and a girl , conceieved around the same day in my cycle, so i am not convinced!

My friend's 2 dd's were conceived close to ovulation.

Stop giving Nancy a hard time. She doesn't need papers to back her up. I'm sure none of you are perfect.

I agree with Kewcumber, on some things. I wouldn't talk about the circumstances of children in developing countries on here. Unless someone has set foot in a Cambodian orphanage, they don't understand how bad it is.

Now, back t o you, op. Okay, enough talk about adoptions. If you want to discuss adoptions, go to the adoptions thread.

I'll discuss adoptions where I like thanks! Adoptions aren't confined to some kind of ghetto!!! And anyway it was a perfectly reasonable response by someone to the OP being desparate for a girl.

I think Nancy does need to back up her argument if she has accused a (named) adoption agency of illegal practices - at the very least MN could decide to pull her posts if anyone reported them. You cannot accuse anyone of anything you like just because its the internet. MN discovered that to its cost last year.

And anyway the thread had died two days ago until you posted

pushchairmad - we used Hazel Chesterton book and so did some frineds. It worked for both us and them

We concentrated on the timing/frequency of bonking method as it is based on science. You do have to follow it carefully though

People who "fail" on Hazel's book tend to keep more quiet about it though. I don't tend to go around telling people that my last 2 sons were not what they were planned to be.

hazel c-p did not work for us x3