Worried about the age gap

[CrystalQueen87]

So I have a DS who has just turned 6.
We always said we wanted a 'larger age gap' ie 5 + years as that's what worked best for us and up until recently I hadn't felt the 'I really want another baby' feeling. We considered being one and done for a while but ultimately we decide we want another child and a sibling for our DS who would be amazing and loves babies and asks for a sibling constantly. We got our heads round the idea of trying for another, and fell pregnant first cycle of trying this March. We were over the moon and so excited.

Unfortunately I had a very deep incline that something was wrong from the start as I bled heavily, I had lots of bloods done and scans and on my 3rd ultrasound it was confirmed that I had a live ectopic pregnancy with a strong heart beat at 8 weeks 💔
We were devastated and I had to be rushed in for surgery to remove our living baby and my right fallopian tube 😭

Now I am almost 7 weeks post op and we've decided to try again in August after a much needed family abroad holiday.

I'm absolutely terrified of this happening again, and I am also worried about the age gap between our first born (just turned 6years) and our second rainbow baby if we are blessed enough to get 😢
This wasn't the plan obviously but I'm aware life throws your curve balls, I just don't know if we should be happy with our beautiful boy and call it quits? Or go again and have a 7 year+ age gap? 🥺

I have 10 years between my first and second, honestly it’s been so lovely as she can help out and she’s loved teaching her things like colours and numbers. I’ll have almost 3 years between 2 and 3 and it terrifies me as they’re be so close in age. I worry about having a newborn and a toddler and making time for both.

There are a set of brothers in my family with this age gap and they are absolutely the best of friends (adults now but also got on well as children) x

Sorry to hear of your loss OP, what a difficult time for you all.

We have 3DC, 9,7 and 7 months and in all honesty the larger age gap has been absolutely beautiful. The older two absolutely love the baby and can also be involved more, my DD will sit and give the baby a bottle for example and they are all so bonded.

The older two are so close in age that the younger years were a blur, where as now I feel we've all had time to enjoy the baby and our new family dynamic.

Sorry for your loss OP 💐
I have a 7.5 year gap, my eldest is 10 and youngest 2.5. It made the early days with DC2 easier in the sense that we didn’t have a “younger” child to have to do everything for as DC1 was quite independent, and now she is a great big sister to her little brother and they get on well so far. We are going to try for DC3 (and will be our last if we are lucky enough to conceive again), also in August after our much needed hol! So our biggest age gap will be 11 years if timing works out. But we are not phased- pro’s and con’s to both small and bigger age gaps, but it works for us! DH and I are a good team and I think that’s key for us. You obviously have to do things separately occasionally to cater to their ages, but mostly we just get on with things together. Good luck whatever you choose x

I actually like the thought of a big age gap - I feel like being at different stages in life can remove competitiveness (mostly as teen/adult)

DP and his sister have 7 year gap and they are really close. He loved having a niece and nephew when he was in his late teens and was always helping to babysit / days out.