MMC after a year TTC

[Monkeyportrait]

Hello all - I am currently having a miscarriage at nine weeks; they found no heartbeat after some spotting the other day. I am 42, and met my partner late in life. We had our first child when I was 39, for whom I'm so grateful, and got pregnant with her immediately. But this time round it took a year. I know that is normal for my age, but to have a silent miscarriage now - which was my greatest fear - has left me wondering whether I am likely to be able to have a second child at all. I very often hear people saying "the important thing is, you're getting pregnant quickly each time" when someone suffers MMCs. But sadly that was not the case for me, with this second pregnancy. I suppose I'm just looking to see if anyone else was taking a while also, had MMCs, and had success. Thanks so much.

I am so sorry this has happened to you. I met DP when I was 40 and got pregnant almost as soon as started trying a year later but had MMC. I went on to have another, 6 months later, and discovered I had antiphospholipid syndrome. I had to take aspirin during pregnancy. I had a third MMC - unrelated to APS - and it definitely took a bit longer for the third pregnancy (by this time I was 44) but became pregnant again at almost 45 and had DD - now 13.

Getting pregnant in your 40s is nowhere near as difficult as it’s sometimes made out to be. I had 5 friends all in their 40s who were pregnant at the same time as me. It’s frustrating to hear but being able to get pregnant is extremely important and does mean a much greater likelihood of a good outcome.

you could always have some tests to see if anything has changed since your first pregnancy but I would hazard a guess that it’s just one of those awful unlucky miscarriages.

I wish you all the best and just wanted you to know 40something pregnancies do end well.
Good luck and take care of yourself. A miscarriage is such a traumatic experience.

Hi
I’m so sorry for your loss. I know only go well the absolute misery of MMC(I was 37).
if it’s helpful, the book about fertility ‘It starts with the egg’ is very help as it gives you practical advice on what you can do to improve your egg quality to help avoid a miscarriage. My other tip is I used a fertlily conception cup (google it) and I’m sure that helped me get pregnant again.

I’m 38 I had DD at 34 and tried again earlier this year for it to result in MMC , it’s something you never think will happen to you . 5 weeks later and still no period . It’s so hard to know what will happen next and if we will conceive.

Thank you so much for your incredibly kind replies - and JJM13 I'm so sorry that you feel some of the uncertainly and limbo that I do, and hope Picoloangel and Tallulah Bell's messages are helping a bit.

I am wondering whether going through a MMC - which feels like the ultimate worst nightmare scenario - can help us to see it as more of a kind of process, albeit an excruciating one, rather than an awful dead end. I certainly never thought it would happen to me, and yet I also feared it. That combination made me incredibly anxious and didnt take away from the pain or shock of when it did happen.

But perhaps understanding they are common - and that many people go on to have successful pregnancies - might help us to get back on the horse and keep the door open for every possibility in the future, worst and best. In a way that feels a little less afraid. I don't know. I guess we do just get more anxious every time...

Thank you again. And for the recommendation of the book. I have heard also of the benefits of aspirin in pregnancy.

Xx

Yeah, if thinking like that works for you then you go with it. I was incredibly emotional and broken for a year after my MMC and when I managed to get into the zone to try again I told myself that yeah, I might lose another but I can’t let it break me again. I’m too old and don’t have years left to grieve etc.
the fact you got pregnant is brilliant and you’ve definitely got a good chance of conceiving x