Cycle 6 - am I doing something wrong?

[Ladameauxyeuxbruns]

Hi, I'm feeling a bit down in the dumps and could do with some advice.

DH and I have been TTC since December 2022, with no luck so far. I tested this morning (11dpo) and got a BFN, also think my period is arriving today as had some colour when I wiped.

I'm trying really hard to stay positive, but I'm surrounded by a few people who got pregnant super easily, first or second cycle without really trying and in my down moments it's easy to convince myself that there's something "wrong".

I've been using ovulation sticks (Mom Med) - I usually start using them about a week after my period, twice a day (usually morning-ish around 10-11am, and then again in evening around 5-6pm sometimes later) and tracking on the Pre-mom app by taking a photo and uploading it to the app. It then tells me T/C ratio and whether low, high or peak. DH and I have regular sex anyway, but we ramp it up a notch when it starts getting higher, when it's high and when it's at peak, and then we calm down again.

Am I doing anything wrong? Should we just try every other day for the entire cycle minus period-week? Is it "normal" for it to be taking this long? I don't want to start Googling because it rarely leads to anything good.

Any advice would be lovely, thank you.

Hey Hun, unfortunately it is normal and takes some women much longer than others. Also just to show you how it varies for even the same woman.

My first baby was an accident, second baby took me 7 months to concieve and then I lost them at 14 weeks. Been TTC again for 4 cycles. I know my body can do it as the first was so easy but unfortunately pregnancy isn't as easy or quick as people like to make out x

@Ladameauxyeuxbruns hey, I have been ttc since November my first, also every month it's bfn. Nothing. I'm due this weekend, cycles are around 30 to 32 days with o day CD 18 (maybe I ovulate too late I don't know)
I just want it so badly, some tears were shed
Also use opks, bbt and cm Monitoring... Legs up last cycle 😂 🤭
Honestly just feel like doing some basic testing privately

I just wanted to say I feel exactly the same I honestly could’ve written your post. The only people I know who have had babies got pregnant accidentally or on one try. I think it’s so hard when you’re TTC your first coz when it’s not happening quickly you find yourself worrying that something is wrong. It’s the uncertainty. I don’t think movies help where everyone seems to get pregnant easily. The reality is 80% of couples will get pregnant in the first year and 90% within 2 years. I’m on cycle 7 now (I think) so even though it feels like a long time it’s still within the norm and I try and remind myself of that but also allow myself to feel sad that it hasn’t been quick and easy too.

I'm allowing myself to feel sad and trying not to beat myself up about it. I find myself getting annoyed because it's not like I can have sex differently or doing it wrong! It's just a waiting game and I'm extremely impatient...

Same situation here - it can take a year even for couples with no issues, it's very much down to chance. Really try to not worry, I am specifically avoiding any tracking for this reason as I know it would make me more stressed. If it's going to happen, it will happen. Most of my friends are the opposite and have had issues / it's taken a while, so I am expecting that.

Been TTC since Feb 22 still never had BFP but on the right tracks with referrals to a fertility specialist now, just a long long wait unfortunately! Are you taking any supplements at the moment? If not try folic acid and vitamin D x

Took the weekend to feel sad, now going to get back on the horse (the horse being DH, I suppose!). I've got folic acid in the house, will take that. I'll look into other vitamins too, thank you :)

It took us over a year of concerted effort to conceive and I know exactly how you feel. If you are over 35 then you can contact your GP and start the ball rolling on checking fertility.

As others have said it can be totally normal for it to take some time to conceive. I tried lots of things, but some of things I did around the time we conceived were: stopped trying so hard to conceive (I'd started to give up hope), maca root supplement, and preseed lube. Probably none of those things made a difference and it was just luck.

It's important your partner is doing all the right things too, e.g. keeping his testicles cool, eating well and staying hydrated etc.

You seem to be doing everything to help.

Are you sure you're not accidently doing something to hinder? One of my friends was using a non-sperm-friendly lubricant for 6 months. She didn't know that most lubes aren't great for sperm.