How do you pick yourself back up every month? :(

[miniworry]

Currently on our #TTC cycle number 3 for baby number 2 and am on CD24 of 29 and 9DPO. Did a test this evening and it's negative and also my temperature has lowered so it looks like AF could be here any day.

Even though I just had a feeling it wasn't going to be this month, I've spent the evening in tears and just feel so deflated. We did the SMEP this month and had sex so much that the idea of doing all that again next month for nothing just makes me want to cry.

I have stage 4 endo and I conceived my
DD unplanned after I had an extensive surgery to cut away all of my endo (which was everywhere) so I can't help but think it's grown back and this was the only thing that allowed me to conceive. I no longer have my private medical anymore so would be waiting years on the nhs for this.

How do you incredible ladies get back on the horse (no pun intended) and dust yourself off to go again next month? I'm only on month 3 and feel it's affecting me mentally already.

Sending love and baby dust to you all xx

Hey,

I’m so sorry to hear, I hope you do conceive soon.
me and my OH have been trying for baby #2 since May 2020, it’s been really hard especially when AF shows up. I cry at first it makes me feel better then I just take the week to pamper myself and prepare for another month. I’m on the verge of giving up though it breaks my heart knowing my 6 year old wants a sibling and the longer it takes the bigger the age gap :(
I too think I have endo, I have all the symptoms but it’s hard to get diagnosed, and even if I do like you said it will be a while before treatment.

Don’t be so hard on yourself, our bodies do wonders for us and one day I hope they will host more beautiful babies.

@Hafla thanks so much for your message and wow strength to you for trying for so long and managing to get back at it every month! I think I feel better after my cry now and now just want AF to hurry up and get this one out of the way.

I wish I had a crystal ball as the unknown is just awful, I can't help but worry there's something wrong with me.

Keeping everything crossed you get your #2 very very soon xxx

Period presents! Do something or book something you can’t do if you’re pregnant like a massage etc. it defo helps soften the blow each month.

Give yourself something to look forward to if you’re not pregnant. Then I use to pretend I wasn’t bothered as I could have a massage instead.

Thank you, I know it’s horrific not knowing,
I’ m glad you’re feeling better now.
Sending virtual hugs your way 🫂.
I’ve also had 3 miscarriages one at 12 weeks and the other two at 6-7 weeks.
Now even if I conceive I will be scared, I don’t think I can’t mentally go through it again.
Ah the joys of being a woman.
xx

@miniworry sending so much love, it’s really rough. Nearly 4 years it took us to conceive our youngest. And I know how it feels every month getting that bfn or af arrived. It just kills our spirit little by little.

I was also diagnosed with endo about 7 years ago, so I understand the struggles.

take time for yourself it’s tough.

currently trying for after a miscarriage last year. My af arrived on Tuesday so here we go again ❤️❤️❤️

all I wanted to say was it really is worth it in the end. My lo came at the exact time I needed her and to be quiet frank she saved my life ❤️

@Farmgirl12 thank you so much for taking the time to respond. Wow 4 years, you are utterly amazing and I'm so so glad you had your beautiful little girl! 💞

@miniworry it was a real struggle at times, but I’m no quitter lol ❤️

Took me seven years to conceive number 2 after conceiving easily at 33. Was extremely hard. I don't know what I did, really. I distracted myself for a long time with other things that were happening- we had moved country and had to get permanent jobs. Eventually just gave up hope. Very surprised to conceive naturally then.

I'm 34 weeks now.

So sorry to read all of your frustrations. I also feel broken now - it's been 13 months (and about 14 or 15 cycles) since my early miscarriage of a surprise pregnancy. I have 2 DDs already, who also took a fair while to conceive (16 months and 12 months respectively), but I just have this horrible feeling it won't happen again now, I'll be 41 this August. I'm currently CD27, 11dpo, but fully expecting AF to rock up again on schedule tomorrow, as I've had multiple BFNs this cycle, but I'm still POAS like a madwoman as if the more I do, the more likely that elusive second line will appear 😩....

After a year and two miscarriages we gave up and are starting IVF today. I have no patience any more.

@TheBirdintheCave so sorry to hear you've been through a rough time! Can I ask if you are paying for this yourself or is it nhs?

@miniworry We're paying for ourselves as we already have a 2.5 year old so no longer qualify for it on the NHS :)

@TheBirdintheCave your little one is also the same as ours! I feel like this may be the route we need to go down too with me endo.

Sending so much love and hope it works out for you!

I could’ve written this title myself! We’re also TTC number 2 and it’s only been our first cycle, but it’s thrown me right back to TTC for our first. It’s the disappointment each month and then the constant waiting (waiting for period to be over, waiting ovulation, then waiting to see if it works). I’ve decided each month it doesn’t work, I’ll do something that I can’t do when pregnant (eg. We’re going to Thomas Land tomorrow as I wouldn’t be able to go on the rides with my daughter if I was pregnant). Sending you lots of positivity and baby dust xx

We got pregnant 3 weeks after getting married. We found out at our 12 week scan that nothing had formed in the sac.

We waited a few months and started to try again. I took me a year to get pregnant and it was the hardest year mentally, I've ever experienced.

It took over my life and I became obsessed with getting pregnant. I drove my DH up the wall, running out for tests at the drop of a hat. Crying all day when I got my period. Crying because I thought I'd never be a Mum.

When we started TTC for DC2, it was a much more relaxed approach and more of a we'll see what happens. I got caught on 3rd cycle and we have a 1 year old and 2 day old.

Keep strong & keep the faith 🙏🏻

@justkeepswimming2701 I totally understand everything you've said 100% and I'm sorry you're going through this too.

It all just feels like you are spending every day counting and obsessing over something doesn't it. I've lost count the times I've counted my calendar this month.

I also feel selfish for feeling so sad when I know I'm extremely lucky to have a DD already when I know so many ladies haven't yet conceived at all! I just really want her to have a sibling.

@miniworry Thanks :D It's so hard when you have fertility issues as well isn't it? People saying things like 'just relax' or 'it'll happen when it's meant to') really don't seem to factor into their platitudes that there might be something in our own bodies preventing us from getting pregnant.

@TheBirdintheCave exactly this!! If I had a crystal ball that said it will take two years but you will fall pregnant I'd be fine- but every month it doesn't happen I worry there's something wrong with my body that means it won't ever happen!

@roxyballroom congratulations lovely what fab news! I'm so happy for you 💞

We've been trying for #1 for 18 years now. The mentality that I adopted to keep me going was not thinking oh there's always next month , but I tend to be more realistic and think long term and that It's going to happen one day in the future . We had a loss in december and since that ive been pinning my hopes on every cycle that it'll happen again. I'm now on oi medication and going month to month is driving me absolutely insane. Its so much harder thinking this way. I wish I could revert to my old way of thinking as it was so much easier