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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

New to ttc and overwhelmed!

16 replies

Elz1406 · 14/04/2023 18:41

Hi everyone :)

I'm 31 and dh and I are just starting our ttc journey. Ever since we decided to start trying I've been so overwhelmed by all the different advice and dos and don'ts that its starting to feel impossible to do all of it but I feel like if I don't I'm going to damage our chances. Dh is 43 so we both have a bit of anxiety about age. In the last week I found out that heat can affect sperm and dh loves saunas, hot tubs and lycra for sport so that's one change for him! Then something popped up about not having sex in the 2ww in case it affects implantation but then something else that said not having regular sex can cause you to have an immune response to your partner's sperm that can then affect implantation! There's other stuff too. I just feel like breathing the wrong way is gonna stop me getting pregnant! Does anyone have any tips on how to deal with all the different info without losing it? Oh yeah, and my favourite one, stress will stop me getting pregnant and I must relax. Well I'm a teacher in a very difficult school and there's no way I can eliminate stress. Plus now I'm just stressed about the stress. DH is totally relaxed about everything which is great but also I feel a bit isolated in my anxiety!

OP posts:
Maireas · 14/04/2023 18:46

First of all, the "stress" thing is a red herring. There is no link - women get pregnant in all manner of stressful and terrible situations, as you know. You're still young. Try not to focus on all the conflicting advice (although the advice to your husband is actually good). Remember that even with couples with no problems it can take a year, so you're going to have to just consider that. In every school I've ever worked in, teachers get pregnant every year. Best of luck!

Teapleasemilknosugar · 14/04/2023 19:02

I'm a teacher due Baby2 any day now (come on baby!).

Stress doesn't help - in my experience because it made me too tired or just not in the mood to DTD 🙈. So find a way to unwind and manage your work stress for balance. Then crack on and DTD in your fertile window and try to take a leaf out of your totally relaxed DH's book.

Good luck!

Original poster
Elz1406 · 14/04/2023 20:05

Thanks both, that's all really reassuring, I'm going to try not to worry about worrying! All really good points too, obviously very correct as there is an endless stream of mat leaves! Need to let a bit of common sense back in.
Hope all goes beautifully with baby number 2!!

OP posts:
Maireas · 14/04/2023 20:12

Yes, you can't help but worry! Just try to keep healthy and positive, look after yourselves and with a bit of luck it'll happen soon 🤞

L0uise35 · 11/05/2023 00:55

@Elz1406 I feel.the same..first time ttc and it can just all be a bit overwhelming especially when we are both 36 and everyone likes to remind me of that. Sending luck your way

Mangotango39 · 11/05/2023 02:05

It is so so overwhelming! I was quite caught up nearly ordering every supplement I read about worrying I'd miss something . I had to have a stern talking to myself 😂

Ladysquamy · 11/05/2023 08:34

Don't worry OP. 31 is young and your husband isn't that old at 43! You have an excellent chance. I'm a teacher too and I'm 42 and I'm about to have my second 😂

Lcb123 · 11/05/2023 15:22

Your DH has it right. Have lots of sex throughout the month, eat well and be active, and keep busy with the rest of your life. If it happens, it will happen.

Rusticanella · 11/05/2023 18:30

Can I join? We have literally just started to "stop trying to not get pregnant".

I am mid thirties, have one child. DH early 40s and no children. I have regular cycles.

Is it normal to start tracking cycles and ovulation dates etc straight away? Is there a reason I would need too? Or could we just stop using contraception and see where we are in a few months- is there any risk to that?

My first pregnancy (now teenager) was a long time ago now, and very much not planned or thought about- not that we both don't adore her now!
Smile

UnaVaca · 11/05/2023 18:36

Have you started your folic acid? Take that before you start. I recommend the clear blue digital ovulation sticks.

Rusticanella · 11/05/2023 18:59

UnaVaca · 11/05/2023 18:36

Have you started your folic acid? Take that before you start. I recommend the clear blue digital ovulation sticks.

No actually, have been meaning to order some all week. Will do it now- thanks for the reminder

TheNachtzehrer · 11/05/2023 19:47

Just stop using contraception and have sex. That is literally all you need to do right now.

Cindy1802 · 11/05/2023 19:54

I recommend using ovulation sticks if you have no idea when you ovulate. Online it'll say between day 10-14, but that's just an average - I was shocked go find I ovulate between day 19-22. If I was only having sex during day 10-14 I would have never fallen pregnant! So ovulation sticks are really useful (unless you simply plan to have sex every other day all month that is, but who has the energy for that 🤣)

Mamoun · 11/05/2023 19:58

Literally nothing to do apart from folic acid, stop contraception and have sex around the right time of the month. Watch your discharge to find out and around that period have sex a couple of times.

Rusticanella · 12/05/2023 12:11

Thanks for your comments. Folic acid on its way.

Planning to start watching ovulation dates a bit more over the next couple of cycles.

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