I hate this

[Hummusanddipdip]

Just need to rant because dh, although disappointed, doesn't get my anger.

We've been trying for dc 2 for almost 2 years now (it took 3 years to conceive ds, so I expected the wait) this week we've been on holiday, I was due my period Monday, no show, I didn't bring tests and thought I'd wait until tomorrow morning when we get home as I have tests there.

I made the mistake of starting to hope maybe this was it, maybe its our go (a lot of my friends and family have been announcing pregnancies/having babies over the past year) alas, it's not to be and my period arrived at 3 this morning.

I'm angry, I'm disappointed, I'm hate my body, I hate the long wait between each cycle. But on the flipside, I'm happy my period waited until our last day to show, it means I haven't been self-conscious about going swimming, worried about leakages etc.

I don't know what I'm looking for, just a space to vent my anger and frustration, I guess?

Completely understandable, I know for sure my DH does not "get" it either... it frustrating and irritating and feels like never ending tracking and timings and taking tablets and peeing on sticks, and I've not been doing it near as long as you and i'm already annoyed

You are completely allowed to be peed off by the whole thing, hugs!

I waited 17years to get a positive then lost it. It's incredibly fustrating not understanding why your body just can't do what it's supposed to and it's unbearable watching everyone around you fall pregnant without effort isn't it

Thanks @suz2285 and @MK85 for your replies and sorry you're both in the same boat, sorry for your loss as well MK, I know how much that hurts too ( I had 3 while trying for ds)

One of my best friends told me I should rant and rave about how unfair it is to her because her husband just looks at her "cock eyed" and she's pregnant 🤦‍♀️ couldn't help but laugh when she said that. Another sadly suffered a MC just before Christmas and fell again in Jan. I can't be angry with them, I'm jealous, but I'm angry with my own body.

I told dh how angry I am with myself at the weekend, especially after thinking maybe I was, and falling down the "I drank wine, I went on the slides and the rapids, what if I was and I caused an early loss' then logic kicks in and if I was pregnant, it was way too early for any of my choices to impact an implanting foetus. He actually for the first time said, maybe its him, not me, and if there still isn't a pregnancy this cycle he will contaxt the dr to have himself tested as I had blood tests when trying for ds, further tests early last year and full blood and hormone works done in September as I had a couple of weird cycles.