How am I still here? Tertiary infertility....anyone else

[user1493581567]

Hi folks,
I've over 2 years trying for baby no3. I know how lucky I am to have 2 DC already but my heart is shattered with trying for no.3 and I feel like I'm living in a holding phase of pain and turmoil month to month.
I always try focus on the positives and do know I'm internally grateful for my 2DC but my heart aches for a third. I had no issues trying for the other 2 and after 18 cycles TTC I succeeded in July 2022 but sadly ended in M/C in September. Since then I've done 5 medicated cycles with letrozole (apparently it took that long to be told I was not responding well to it) and I've just got a negative today from my 2nd medicated clomid cycle. The last 2 cycles on clomid have been with HCG triggers (4 different jabs from peak to peak +7). I'm on a rake of supplements, progesterone and this cycle also means a third year of no new addition to the family by the Christmas tree. I just feel broken.... I'm moving to a new clinic to look at IVF but I am not sure how I feel about it. I turned 40 this month and just feel a dark cloud that I'm too old for it to happen even though I've tried so much to get there. I find it hard to process that I was pregnant 7 months ago without the meds and now that I'm releasing 2 eggs each cycle it's not happening. Anyone else in a similar boat? It's the most lonely horrible frustrating journey..... :(

@idontlikementhols what an insensitive thing to say. People can want as many children as they want.

totally resonate with what you’ve said OP - I’m trying for baby no1 and I never imagined I’d still be here a year (and two miscarriages) in. It’s so hard to keep going - solidarity x

Jesus christ. You sound like a twat.

Hi OP, it is hard. I'm pregnant with my 2nd after experiencing secondary infertility for years. Why not keep trying but set yourself a deadline for your mental health. Maybe 43? I'm 42. At least you'll know then that you tried.

Didn't you learn to only say something if it was nice?

Oh my god, how can you say things like that. I've had 2 losses, no kids yet, but I can sense every bit of pain this poor OP is feeling nor do I begrudge her for wanting another. You have no purpose commenting here if this is the tone you are taking. Its supposed to a supportive page.

@idontlikementhols why you commenting on a conception board then? Troll much?!

@user1493581567 I struggled to conceive #3 and it took 2 years and plenty of mc. We did it though and we are now trying to conceive #4. Keep going

Move to the ivf asap if you can. Your success rate at 40 will be better with 3 natural pgs under your belt than starting on your first at 40. I had secondary and tertiary infertility. I had my fourth at 40 on my second cycle thinking it was impossible and not being very realistic about it working.

I think some people can be quite successful with IVF. I have had four transfers with three pregnancies and two children. I will probably be using my last embryo to try for a third. It is certainly worth trying after several years of trying.

Guess you didn't help the planet and had children I guess?

I’m trying for my first, having a hard time and waiting to start clomid, and I sympathise 100% with the OP. As do many others who don’t have any yet. Infertility hurts. No matter what your situation. Be nice or be quiet.

@HistoryFanatic no I didn't, primarily for environmental reasons.
Like I say, I have huge sympathy for people desperate for their first baby.
I'm not 'trolling' the board, this thread came up in Active and I replied.

Thanks to each and everyone of you for your kind replies. I'm on day 2 of my cycle today and having a bit of an emotional day with it all so I do really appreciate all the replies.
As for for the insensitive reply that's been deleted I'm sure you see the world in your own way and have your views but I think it's important to treat everyone with kindness and compassion (regardless if you don't have sympathy for me having heartache each month every year and going through a very grueling loss after a full 18 months trying). If you don't feel any sympathy for me that's ok but let me tell me my heart can fully ache and even though I have two beautiful DC which I am incredibly grateful for (this does not and should not mitigate against the loss of the child that occurred) and the struggle I'm since experiencing to conceive. I hope life is kind to you and you find compassion for those that are already hurting for whatever their reason.

As for the other replies (Thank You so much)! My new consult is coming up in May with a new Dr and I'm hoping to be doing IVF during the summer if I've not reached success before then. I'm partially terrified but I'm willing to keep at it but I do worry about all the emotional and financial strain it will add, however I have to give it my all. My current Dr thinks I should wait more time for clomid to work but I am moving into cycle 3 with the triggers and I'll be on cycle 4 by the time I move to new Dr so I do really hope I get somewhere further. I take so many supplements and could do with losing a stone to be in best shape. thank you so much for being kind and taking the time to reply to me. I hope all of you get your dream baby and things work out soon for us all x

It will definitely happen for you, I'm just 5 weeks after a second mc but I'm not going to lose hope and you shouldn't either. Take care of yourself xxx

Ella31 that is incredible news, I'm so sorry for you losses! Congrats to you for your lovely news and thanks for sharing your story and how important it is to hold onto hope :)

@user1493581567 Hey! Just wondered how you are getting on. We are TTC#3 (I am 38) and would normally get pregnant within a couple of months, but not this time (or any more I should say?). Fingers crossed for some good news for you!

hi there, how long have you been trying for no.3? I wish I could say I'm finally pregnant but I am still working on it.
I recently started metformin (for insulin resistance) and letting that take a few months to work but I'm also doing medicated cycles and get scans each month to ensure we TTC at the right time but we've not managed it yet. I am also doing HBOT chambers as I heard that can improve your egg quality overall and my plan is to give the medicated cycles this month and next and move towards IVF in October. I'm not sure if we'll get there but I hope we do - it's such an expensive and emotional rollercoaster. Great that you're only 38, feel free to message me anytime - it can be such a lonely place and so many don't understand the pain of it all.

@user1493581567 thank you!! We are still under a 6 month mark, so early in the grand scheme of things, but in the past I would always take 1-2 months to get pregnant without any effort. I have always felt ovulation pain, so getting the timing right for me is easy even without OPKs. Now we have been going through these familiar motions for a few months, and no luck so far. It does feel like my own body is betraying me… Or not ready yet/anymore? Fingers crossed for you, I really wish you all the baby dust in the world xxx