TTC, feeling disheartened. Please read

[TS45]

My husband and I are both healthy, mid-20s. We’ve just had our 11th month of TTC and I felt really hopeful.
I’ve attached my chart below, which shows all of my temps post ovulation. I used OPKs too, so I know I definitely ovulated the day it said. I felt so hopeful because at 8DPO, I had what I believed to be an implantation dip and also had pink cm.
I usually get my period at 12DPO (I haven’t started yet but my app predicts today because it religiously happens at 12DPO, hence the red). My period hasn’t come yet but my temperature has dipped so close to the cover line that I know I’m out and will most likely start my period tomorrow.

I really don’t know what else to do. I’ve had relaxed months of not tracking, I’ve had months of tracking (OPKs and BBT), I’ve paid for myself and my partner to have fertility tests - no issues detected.
I don’t understand how next month will be month 12 of TTC baby number 1, and we’ve had absolutely no luck. I haven’t ever had a bfp. I’m losing hope and I don’t even want to try next month now because I know it’s the last month before I should panic.
All of my friends and siblings have all fallen pregnant within the first 6 months of trying.
I’ve never felt so disheartened.

has anyone been in this position and had any success stories? I’m terrified there’s something wrong with me. I want this so badly and I just feel more and more heartbroken each month. Every new pregnancy announcement feels like a kick in the stomach.

Sorry to hear this OP. What’s your health like generally? Overweight? Thyroid?

Also how long is your cycle?

I was in the same position as you between the age of 25-27 and understand how gut wrenchingly sad and painful it is.

After 12 months TTC we got transferred to a fertility consultant who did tests on DH - no issues. Also they did several tests with me (blood tests and a die test to check for blocked tubes etc.)- also no issues which was frustrating because we just had no answers. We were given 3 x rounds of clomid and fell pregnant on the 3rd round. They said if it hadn't worked we would have gone IVF route. No issues in pregnancy and had a healthy baby girl. It was such a painful journey we decided not to try for another one as we couldn't go through it again. We now have a 6 year old daughter and a 1 year old son who we fell pregnant with the first month of deciding to try again.

Hang in there, try not to let it get on top of you too much and chase the doctors and consultants to get what you want.

Sending you lots of luck and hugs x

Genuinely so sorry, please don't lose faith. I really truly hope everything works out for the best and you get lots of luck, you deserve it Sending many hugs. x

6 week cycle! Both my mum, sister, grandma and auntie also have 6 week cycles but all fell pregnant within 6 months

Health is great, my weight is normal, fertility tests and hormone blood tests have come back normal, which makes it extra frustrating

So just to confirm, you had what seemed like implantation dip and implantation bleeding and your very regular period hasn’t appeared when it normally does
and you’ve not done a test?

you may be right op but I think you’re being a bit premature with your disappointment

fingers crossed for you

Others will have more helpful advice but I didn’t want to read and run.

My good friend got pregnant on the 11th try, just when she was starting to lose hope. They ideally wanted a September baby but ended up an August baby! No rhyme or reason for it taking 11 tries - no health issues - just one of those things.

I’m sure you’ll get there. When I was TTC and worried about how long it could take it helped me to think about how rapidly things change once you get pregnant. In the space of a year you go from convinced you’ll never conceive, to despairing with your 3 month old who won’t nap!

Hang in there xx

Also, I’ve just checked my fertility friend chart from the month I conceived my (now 1 year old) DS. I had a negative pregnancy test at 9 DPO and my temp dropped to near the cover line. Then it went up again the next day. At 11 DPO I got a BFP. The apps and testing etc are helpful, but try not to let them control your emotions too much!

It took Me and my partner 2 years to concieve. We also had clear tests and no health issues. I honestly felt like when I let go of thinking about it, it happened. Hang in there I hope you get your bfp soon. X

Hi,
I have been ttc baby 2 for 7 months, initially I wasn’t having regular cycles due to coming off the pill, but had a few months where I was sure it would work out! Baby 1 was conceived very quickly. I have become convinced that my problem is stress at work, and trying to come up with a plan for making it less stressful. My cm is usually not very fertile around ovulation and my temperature sometimes doesn’t rise quickly, or I just have a very short luteal phase. Anyway, I am having a break from ttc and hoping that things sort themselves out. Is your cm fine? How are your stress levels? Sorry if this is sensitive, but any miscarriages? Fingers crossed for you x

Just saw your chart, and I am surprised at how low your temperature is in your luteal phase!

Hello, I agree with the comments to look properly into your thyroid health and also iron stores. These are the two most common physiological imbalances I come across with my clients (I'm a fertility nutritionist) and they have not been commented on by a doctor because there is no disease. Infertility is a state of functioning, not a disease and so we need iron stores and thyroid health to be good not just OK.

I would also like to add that our expectations of getting pregnant immediately that society out on us is so unhelpful! Fertility is fluid, it is meant to be and it is normal to have stages in our life where this happens, there isn't always something wrong. Comparing ourselves often ends up in negative emotions being thrown at ourselves and we end up in a loop of stress and attracting more 'failure'.

Have you heard of the woman who couldn't get pregnant and then she adopted and fell pregnant? Everyone said she stopped wanting it so much and took the pressure off so it happened. Rubbish! She still wanted children but she stopped trying to get pregnant and focussed on having a child and that is the most important thing you can mindset wise in my opinion. When trying we get wrapped up in trying and forget to wrap ourselves in what we actually want - a child. Those announcements you are hearing are positive, that's what you want - so surround yourself and allow yourself to hear them and to be around babies.

The most amazing things come out of adversity, I hope that you will be successful. All the very best