Tips on helping to conceive

[Flower69]

I had a miscarriage nearly 5 months ago and am trying to conceive. I've tried the ovulation sticks but they're not telling me much, approx which day do you ovulate? My period usually starts on the 23rd of every month. I'm 38 and have not children and am desperate to have one. Any help would be appreciated.

Hi Flower, sorry about your miscarriage

How long is your cycle? Counting cycle day 1 as your first day of full menstrual bleeding.

Apparently the "norm" is 28 days, and ovulation on CD14.

For me, my cycle is usually 28 days, and I ovulate on CD15 or 16 - so not every women ovulates on CD14.

There are lots of ways to observe ovulation, you can chart your basal temperature, check your cervical mucus, or indeed cervical position, ovulation sticks (as you mentioned), some women even experience ovulation pains.

Hi there

Well as my period starts on the same day every month I suppose it's about 30/31 days. So do I count 15/16 days from the day my period starts, i.e. day one is first day of my period? Is it best to have sex every other day at this time? I've heard so may different things I'm getting confused!

Flower - it is difficult waiting. I got pregnant first time round with the help of acupuncture - I was a complete skeptic but it worked for me. It can help regulate your hormones and stimulate ovulation.

Also, to state the bloody obvious you really need to have sex often - every three days ideally.

The fact that you had a miscarriage shows that for you conception is possible. If you can, try and see that as a positive. I had a miscarriage the month before I conceived the baby I'm currently carrying.

How far along were you? If it was within the first 12 weeks it's likely it was just a bad sperm or bad egg or indeed just a bad match and there is no reason that will happen again, but every reason to hope you will conceive again, with happier consequences, very soon.

Good luck.

You might ovulate earlier or later in your cycle than the average. So it really is better to either have sex every 2-3 days throughout your cycle, or pinpoint ovulation - the latter being easier said than done.

Cervical mucus seems to be the most accurate reading of your fertile period - the more watery/egg white it is in consistency, the more fertile you are likely to be.

Good luck

Thank you for your advice and encouraging words. I've told my husband it'll be non-stop sex next month! Fingers crossed and I shall look out for all the signs you've mentioned. I think I'd got it into my head that I would never be able to conceive again, yes the miscarriage happened at just over 11 weeks. Still feeling down about it but must try and look forwards.x

Hi Flower,

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I had a miscarriage last year and it is heartbreaking but the most important thing to remember is that you can conceive. I am now 7 months pregnant.

Here are some tips that I read about that should help conception. Some might be old wives tales for all I know but they worked for me!
For starters make sure you are taking pregnacare or something similar, keep your diet healthy, make sure you're getting your 5 a day etc. Cut down on caffeine and alcohol (that goes for your DH too). Caffeine can make conception in some cases quite difficult. Don't be too skinny or too fat. A healthy weight makes conception easier. To make sure there is a good quality sperm count when you do try don't shag much until two days before you ovulate and then shag like crazy until after ovulation. That means shagging maybe twice a day for about 3 days or more if you're unsure of your exact ovulation. Once you detect the LH surge with an ovulation you ovulate about 24 to 36 hours afterwards. Remember sperm can live up to 3 days so start shagging before you ovulate as well as when you ovulate. Sperm count is higher in the morning so try to nab your DH before he goes to work. After shagging stay warm in the bed with legs tightly closed for about half an hour and keep a pillow or two under your bum to encourage the sperm to move up rather than trickle out (sorry if TMI). Again, I don't know how much of that is scientific but there is some research to back most of it up. Good luck!