Best time for a baby!!

[Dogsmum2022]

I’m looking for some advice and support.
After years of ‘not the right time’ I’ve finally come around to wanting to start a family. So we started trying (for 2 months) then found out that I am being made redundant in July so we stopped ( really frustrated as it’s taken me so long to get my head around it ) but now I know it’s going to be another year until we can try again as I need to find a job to be able to get maternity pay.

my biggest issue is my mother went through the menopause 35, I am 34 and I am scared it will be to late.

help! What do I do? My husband says we should start trying and we can manage but I’ve always wanted to be successful and have a good job I never wanted to be a mum without a job and that’s just me but if I wait it maybe to late

You could freeze your eggs and then have a go at IVF next year once you're settled in a new job. Or just go for it now! I was a sahp for 3 years after my eldest was born - partly due to COVID. Then got hired into a promotion and big raise after my second child. Probably have had much better career progression than if I'd gone back to my original job after my first! So you never know what might happen.

So I’ve booked in for a AMH test , I think it may help with a decision
thank you all for your help it really is great to be able to talk to others about this issue xx

Early menopause runs in my family. My mum, her cousin and my nan all went through it in their mid 30s. My mum started HRT at 35. I was advised by consultant gynaecologist to TTC young, as it was also likely to happen to me (not reached that age yet so can’t say how it will turn out for me). They advised that I could have my AMH tested, but that it could give me a false sense of security.

OP’s mum’s age at menopause is the best predictor of when she will go through it herself.

To add, that I opted to follow the advice and TTC. It was a difficult decision because, despite being in the most wonderful relationship, we haven’t been together a long time in the grand scheme of things and I would I have loved more time just the two of us. We decided that we didn’t want to risk it never happening, so stopped contraception and fell pregnant straight away. We’re so happy with that decision now though.

Thank you all for you advice, I went ahead and had a AMH test and my result was 4.1 which was apparently normal for my age

I’m surprised you were told that it is normal for your age Dogs. Mine is 4.99 and I have done loads of reading all of which indicates that it is in line with being in my 40s rather than 34. I have also been accepted into a low AMH group where I had to give my AMH before being accepted.

I also wasn’t eligible for the refund IVF packages as my AMH was deemed to be low.

This was my result email… I am worried know, who am I to believe as this did give me some positive news

Have you decided what to do about TTC OP?

Your result does look low. Did they give any other advice or guidance?

Definitely start trying! I had everything planned out exactly when it was good to have a child etc etc then took over a year to get pregnant. 34 is certainly not old to have your 1st child but as far as fertility goes it is certainly heading that way, especially if your mum had early menopause, I wouldn't risk putting it off. Also in my experience once you actually have a baby your priorities totally change and you will not for one minute regret having that little bundle

Hi op, don’t leave it! My mum had early menopause, along with other females in the family! She went through it mid 30s! I’m now 36 and has been confirmed I too am in early menopause. Luckily I have my dcs for this reason, I didn’t want to put it off.
I think if you are sure you want a baby then go for it! There’s no perfect time, but your time will run out, don’t let that be a huge regret!

There's never a right time and could take years to even happen. Go for it and good luck.

i am a current ECT 1 and me and my partner are wanting to expand our family. So many things to think about before we just "go for it". I know that the new ECT programme means that if time is off due to maternity then there is possible extension of study - which isn't too bad and is not a huge concern for me. My main concern is having to consider everything... I already have a daughter who is 2.5 year old and I feel as though time is nearing to have another child before age gap is too much. Trying to "plan" where possible conceiving to ensure that financially we are stable and have minimal impact on the school and students. I have found a great contact on Twitter but have to pay for their services and advise in organising maternity leave and shared parental leave. It's so frustrating that there are so many factors to consider that should never be a hinderance!

As others have said, get some fertility tests done. I had AMH and FSH levels checked at 39 after trying to TTC for over 6 months. My levels were low and that really got me panicking. I did research and took alot of supplements, had acupuncture, more scans etc and it took 15 months to get pregnant. I am now 17 weeks and turned 40 a few weeks ago. I wish i had those tests years ago, i thought it would happen straight away, never thought i'd be 40 and pregnant but life has turned out that way.
Don't wait, go for it, get some tests, knowledge is power in these circumstances.

Maybe pay for private fertility tests,’if you can. Otherwise look for a job where you get maternity leave from day 1 - I work on a university and we get 6 months paid mat leave straight away

Echoing others, there's never a right time. When I conceived my 1st I was 33 and in a well paid stable job. Took me 3 attempts to get pregnant.

At 36 (but not far off 37) I'm now self-employed and still building my business up. Money wise it's no where near what I was on before but we manage. I had a mmc in January and so far 3 attempts to get pregnant.

You never know how long it will take to get pregnant and you'll manage financially, you just have to adjust.