TTC number one

[sunja]

Hi all, was hoping for a bit of a chat/sounding board.

DH would like to start TTC before me. I turn 30 end of next year and I wanted to wait until then, to enjoy my birthday without being pregnant etc. and to also do some of the things I wanted to before kids.

However, DH would like to start TTC at the start of next year which could obviously mean I am potentially pregnant on my birthday, or just had a baby.

To be clear, we both really want a baby and to be parents but the change in timeline is stressing me out a bit.

DH makes a good point about starting earlier as it could take a while but I'm worried that if it happens straight away then we are in the situation as outlined above.

I've spoken to my mum and she thinks DH is right and that I shouldn't let my anxiety get the better of me. I just find it all a bit overwhelming. Was hoping to talk to some other women who may have had a similar situation and hear your views? I would really appreciate it. Thanks xx

Can totally relate to feeling so overwhelmed with the decision of TTC! I felt the same even to the point of coming off the pill I still kept questioning are we sure this is the right time etc.

I think if you are both really sure it's what you want, you should just go for it, you never know how long it's going to take. My mindset did shift pretty quickly going from coming off the pill and being a bit unsure, to about a month later desperately wanting to be pregnant already. I am about 5 weeks pregnant now.

I think it's normal to want to do certain things before a child and there is a concept of grieving the person you were before which is very real, I also felt this a bit immediately the day we found out. Even though we were so happy I was instantly thinking my life will change in all these ways now. But it quickly passed.

Talking about it with DH more will help, you really just have to explore how you feel about it, even if that changes day to day.

Thanks so much @Sagittarius25 - I can't relate so much to your post. Congratulations! So happy for you xx

I came off the pill a year ago! I feel like my body is nearly back to normal now which is good but we just use condoms in the meantime whilst we are deciding when is best to stop.

I think part of it is that I know I will be responsible for a whole other human being (mad!) and I will put so much time and effort into them so I want to have the space for that and no regrets. Also, my job is super demanding (I'm a lawyer) and I want to keep working.

I feel like it's so much to think about but my sister keeps saying don't think about it otherwise you won't do it.

I think DH is right about starting before our ideal time to take pressure off. Thanks again xx

I am in the process of trying to conceive no.1 and have been for 10 months (only 29, no evidence of an issue before really).

Despite this, I am really glad I took the time to do everything I wanted before we started trying (we went backpacking just before). The process has been horrible and scary and having memories to look back on has been lovely.

Honestly though, I wouldn’t put it off for something like a birthday as your DH is right and the process can be long.

Hi! I only delayed TTC for a few months after getting married and luckily just managed to get my coil removed in early march 2020 before lockdown. We were delaying as we had a USA road trip booked and I didn’t want to be sick for it.
It’s been 3 years so far and I really wish we had started sooner. I know my situation is quite extreme and it doesn’t take everyone this long to conceive but I personally don’t worry about trying to avoid events or plan due dates etc.
ultimately you’ve got to do what’s right for you. Hope you have a smooth journey and sending baby dust your way 💞xxx

@Superstorefan123 @Luna0905 thanks so much both! I think you're both right. I will just stop using condoms at the time we agree and see what happens. That way I won't feel pressured either

Hope all goes well for you lovely and good luck 🤞🏼 xxx