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Conception

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Original poster

Pregnancy

20 replies

Flower2219 · 17/02/2023 20:06

Hi ladies. So no judging, I’m after stories with women in similar positions to myself! I have a son , my partner has a son and we have a daughter together. He raises my son as his own (his dad isn’t around) and his daughter we have 50% of the time and get on well with her mother. We have a happy family home. Our daughter is 13 months and I’m starting to having the massive urge for another baby. It won’t budge!!! I have mention this to my partner, he is completely certain he doesn’t want anymore and if I was to fall pregnant by accident then he would want me to get an abortion or he will leave me. I would never trick him into getting me pregnant and I will accept not having another for us all. However, the past 5 weeks I haven’t been on any contraception (pill plays with my mental health so I’m awaiting my coil to be put in). He knows I wasn’t on anything and I bought condoms. I left contraception up to him over these few weeks and started to wonder if he was serious about no more babies as he wouldn’t put a condom on untill right at the end just before he “finished” and two nights ago he didn’t put one on at all he just pulled out! So I’d like a few experiences from you all… 1. Anyone fallen pregnant by pull out method? Given the fact I’ve been off the pill five weeks and not had the proper period yet, just a few days of weird on and off bleeds( pink one day, red but lighter than normal the second and then day 3 and 4 just brownish smudges) And 2. Did your partners ever come round to having another baby?

OP posts:
amiold · 17/02/2023 20:25

Flower2219 · 17/02/2023 20:06

Hi ladies. So no judging, I’m after stories with women in similar positions to myself! I have a son , my partner has a son and we have a daughter together. He raises my son as his own (his dad isn’t around) and his daughter we have 50% of the time and get on well with her mother. We have a happy family home. Our daughter is 13 months and I’m starting to having the massive urge for another baby. It won’t budge!!! I have mention this to my partner, he is completely certain he doesn’t want anymore and if I was to fall pregnant by accident then he would want me to get an abortion or he will leave me. I would never trick him into getting me pregnant and I will accept not having another for us all. However, the past 5 weeks I haven’t been on any contraception (pill plays with my mental health so I’m awaiting my coil to be put in). He knows I wasn’t on anything and I bought condoms. I left contraception up to him over these few weeks and started to wonder if he was serious about no more babies as he wouldn’t put a condom on untill right at the end just before he “finished” and two nights ago he didn’t put one on at all he just pulled out! So I’d like a few experiences from you all… 1. Anyone fallen pregnant by pull out method? Given the fact I’ve been off the pill five weeks and not had the proper period yet, just a few days of weird on and off bleeds( pink one day, red but lighter than normal the second and then day 3 and 4 just brownish smudges) And 2. Did your partners ever come round to having another baby?

Your partner needs to grow up. Won't wear a condom but will leave you if you have a baby. Make it make sense

Original poster
Flower2219 · 17/02/2023 20:45

I know, I’ve made it clear I’m not on contraception and that if I fell pregnant I will keep. I assumed at first he just wasn’t bothered if I fell pregnant

OP posts:
2crossedout1 · 17/02/2023 20:47

Sorry OP, I don't think this means he won't mind you getting pregnant. I think it just means he doesn't like condoms!

amiold · 17/02/2023 20:49

Flower2219 · 17/02/2023 20:45

I know, I’ve made it clear I’m not on contraception and that if I fell pregnant I will keep. I assumed at first he just wasn’t bothered if I fell pregnant

I mean he'll only stay with you if you do what he wants...

MrsBunnyEars · 17/02/2023 20:59

You both need to grow up.

Whatever he’s thinking now, don’t expect him to stick around if you have a baby he’s told you he doesn’t want.

Twoinapod · 17/02/2023 21:02

This is some major red flags. He’s being totally irresponsible with contraception but saying he’ll leave you if you didn’t get rid. This is very controlling behaviour which needs addressing quickly or it will spiral.

The withdrawal method regularly fails, it’s not a reliable birth control method

allgoodthings84 · 17/02/2023 21:12

He’s being an idiot but you’re not doing the best thing either unless you’re not bothered about him leaving you with the baby. I don’t think this is his way of letting you know he doesn’t mind after all if you get pregnant I think it’s his way of saying that he’s warned you he will leave you if you get pregnant so you deal with contraception or take the risk as he doesn’t really want to wear condoms. Sounds a lovely guy…

Runningonn · 18/02/2023 13:39

Just replying to the question, me and my husband have been using the pull out method for 10 years, and I haven't been pregnant once. I had a chemical pregnancy once I think, but could also be faulty tests. But yeah, 10 years and never conceived. I don't use contraception or anything like that.

Landndialamrhf · 18/02/2023 19:44

Please stop having sex with this man.
he won’t wear condoms but will expect you to have an abortion, that you don’t even want. Or he’ll leave you and break up his children’s home.
hes telling you his priorities and his preference in sex is more important than his family and your mental well-being
i do know several people who’ve accidentally fallen pregnant this way

KEW95 · 18/02/2023 20:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

KEW95 · 18/02/2023 20:29

I’m so sorry I’ve accidentally posted onto a thread when trying to make my own. My apologies, is there a way to delete?

Original poster
Flower2219 · 19/02/2023 10:08

Thankyou. I’ve tried almost all contraception methods and unfortunately they don’t agree with me and I suffer with depression episodes! So condoms or pull out of what we have been doing recently! I’ve used it in the past and had no problems with it but it’s so frowned upon

OP posts:
2crossedout1 · 19/02/2023 10:15

I'm not going to criticise you for using condoms and pulling out as a contraceptive method - I've used this myself in the past. The point is that if it does fail you MUST be on the same page about what you'd do about it. And it sounds like you very much are not.

fairgame84 · 19/02/2023 10:18

Flower2219 · 19/02/2023 10:08

Thankyou. I’ve tried almost all contraception methods and unfortunately they don’t agree with me and I suffer with depression episodes! So condoms or pull out of what we have been doing recently! I’ve used it in the past and had no problems with it but it’s so frowned upon

Have you tried the copper coil? That's what I ended up with as hormonal methods don't agree with me.

fairgame84 · 19/02/2023 10:20

KEW95 · 18/02/2023 20:29

I’m so sorry I’ve accidentally posted onto a thread when trying to make my own. My apologies, is there a way to delete?

We've all done at some point!
Report your post and mnhq will delete it for you.

Landndialamrhf · 19/02/2023 11:56

Flower2219 · 19/02/2023 10:08

Thankyou. I’ve tried almost all contraception methods and unfortunately they don’t agree with me and I suffer with depression episodes! So condoms or pull out of what we have been doing recently! I’ve used it in the past and had no problems with it but it’s so frowned upon

I don’t think you should feel ashamed of the method
it’s high risk and partly relies on your DP having full control over himself. But there’s no shame and don’t worry about what other people think about the method, you have to do what’s right for you

the issue here though is that you are accepting the risks that come with that method and your DP isn’t, he’s pushing all blame and responsibility onto you, when there’s a perfectly good alternative (condoms) that would lower your risks.

however no contraception is 100% and I would be very hurt if my DP threatened to leave me because of that.

Original poster
Flower2219 · 19/02/2023 20:41

I must admit it did upset me when he said it. After our years of being together and raising the children we have together it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. And I guess him not being bothered about condoms gave me abit of hope that he partly wanted another. We have spoken and been clear with each other, he doesn’t want any more children and I do. However if it happened he said he won’t leave it was something said in the heat of an argument. He’s going to be using condoms for the moment, untill my coil is sorted at least!

OP posts:
somuchtolearnabout · 19/02/2023 21:07

If he is adamant he doesn't want more children, tell him to get a vasectomy. Why should women always have to be the ones to deal with contraception!

Original poster
Flower2219 · 19/02/2023 21:24

I have and suprise suprise he is to scared! Is women always get the shit end of it all. Men just expect us to do the contraception

OP posts:
allgoodthings84 · 19/02/2023 22:47

If he’s just going to up and leave if you get pregnant but won’t wear a condom or sort other protection then if I was you I would stop having sex with him. He’s a shit for expecting it to all be down to you when he’s the one so against the consequences that he would walk away you for it!

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