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Conception

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Cannot decide whether to try for a 3rd or not I'm to'ing and fro'ing all over the shop!

2 replies

Twocatstwodogs · 15/02/2023 12:56

First post on here, hope I've got it right.
I'm 38yrs old and hubby is nearly 40yrs old. We have two sons and they're fab, ds1 is nearly 2.5yrs and ds2 is nearly 1yrs. Ds1 is a little speech delayed according to the milestones but has had SALT and is just a bit behind others his age on vocabulary etc. Ds2 is bomb proof and already way more confident and they're starting to be a good team. When ds2 was about 6/7 months I really wanted to try for a third (hubby is keen and keen on having as many as I can manage basically). Problem is after a month/two of trying and it not working then kind of changed my mind and panicked as I started to feel I didn't want to be pregnant again anyway and we should stop trying so we did and I had a coil fitted. However for the last month or so I've been feeling differently and feel like I would like another if we can. If I didn't have to do another pregnancy again I'd be sure and we'd be trying but I know it sounds awful but I don't like being pregnant. I like being able to push myself to exercise, run or whatever I fancy and I hate how tired I get. I just don't know what to do. I'm someone who is all in or not, if we decide to go for it again, I'll have spreadsheets and all sorts and be monitoring like a hawk. I really worry my body is too old, I've had 2 c sections so I would be having a 3rd c section and I really don't want to leave it longer as I don't think I'll have the energy otherwise. Please tell me I'm not the only person trying to figure out what on earth to do? My husband is an only child and lost his parents tragically separately as a child and he would love a huge family, I'm one of two and also like the idea of a bigger family but I also selfishly don't love the idea of being pregnant again. Any ideas or words of wisdom very much appreciated

OP posts:
FriedasCarLoad · 15/02/2023 13:01

My 3rd is due imminently. My age gaps are a little bigger than yours and I'm slightly older than you.

I'm finding pregnancy with two little ones and in middle age exhausting. Bigger age gaps would make pregnancy less exhausting; being further into one's 40s can make it more exhausting.

I think the smaller age gaps are wonderful once they're into toddler stage because they play so well together. I also feel that delaying pregnancy in one's 40s risks not getting the longed for child. But it's a very personal decision.

Twocatstwodogs · 15/02/2023 14:27

FriedasCarLoad · 15/02/2023 13:01

My 3rd is due imminently. My age gaps are a little bigger than yours and I'm slightly older than you.

I'm finding pregnancy with two little ones and in middle age exhausting. Bigger age gaps would make pregnancy less exhausting; being further into one's 40s can make it more exhausting.

I think the smaller age gaps are wonderful once they're into toddler stage because they play so well together. I also feel that delaying pregnancy in one's 40s risks not getting the longed for child. But it's a very personal decision.

Thank you FriedasCarLoad. That's really helpful. Not long now for you, once you're not pregnant anymore you'll feel so much more energised I think.
Yes this is my fear, whether I have the energy for it but I guess I'll only get less energy as the years go on, not more.

So tricky to know what to do. I guess there is a chance I might change my mind again and feel happy and fulfilled with my two.

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