HELP!!

[Tequilachic12]

I need some advice on DH attitude to TTC and if things will get better etc. I have been TTC for over a year now with no luck, I will admit my periods wasn’t the best and they took a while to regulate.

my periods are now fairly normal and I am tracking but my partner will not have sex with me. On average we’re having sex twice a month which is obviously majorly lowering my chances. I have brought it up with him a few times and he just gets upset and says not this again.

bit of back story -I’ve been with DH 6 years and have always been open about what I wanted and he claims to want the same things. my DH has ADHD and has a much lower sex drive than me but it was always fun and I had no complaints. Since we’ve been TTC it’s like he has no interest at all and makes excuses.

Do you think this is something that can be resolved ? Other than this our relationship is very good but I want to have a talk with him and basically say if we don’t sort this out soon then I’m thinking of ending things as I can’t go through the stress and heartache of this every month when he’s not even trying.

thanks in advance 😫

@Tequilachic12 ah that's tough. I think I would definitely be questioning his commitment to wanting a child. Is there a way you could have a discussion about it in a low pressure environment and try to keep calm but just say something along the lines of: "I know we've talked before and you said you wanted kids but your actions are giving me the impression that you're having second thoughts? Where are you up to with it all?" If he confirms he still wants kids then you need to tell him that if that's the case, he needs to up his game a bit.. maybe find a good YouTube video about trying to conceive or something he would find accessible and let him see how it will likely take a bit of effort! Maybe he's feeling a bit daunted and this is his way of controlling it a bit..? However, you really need to know where his head is at - especially if this would be a deal breaker for you. Wishing you all the best xx

It's so hard!

My partner didn't really understand that we have one day a month to fall pregnant on.
I had to literally give him a lesson 😂
But it worked. He got more of an understanding that timing is crucial.

As pp, ask him thoughts on the situation, if he still wants a baby I would explain the fertile window etc. hopefully this helps his understanding.

Also, twice a month, if timed right, is all you would need! Worst case scenario maybe you just need to save up those times for the absolute best days (day before and day of ovulation) - if he comes on to you any other time just say you're waiting for the best moment as you know he's a twice a month kind of guy!