Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

To continue or to stop TTC

4 replies

FlyingHighFlyingLow · 31/01/2023 19:33

My DP and I are in our mid 30s and decided to TTC our first soon. My DP went food shopping a couple weeks ago and picked up some prenatals for me to take (off his own bat, I hadn't asked him to), has asked me a couple times if I'd been taking them, asked questions about childcare, names, shown me car seats.

Decided to go for it this cycle and DTD unprotected yesterday at CD14. Afterwards my DP went into a complete panic! I asked if he was unsure about wanting a baby and he said no, I asked if he wanted me to get the MAP and again he said no (while still hyperventilating). He still said no when I asked him again when he'd calmed down this morning, but admitted to still being panicked.

His mum had her first young and really pushed home that sex was bad and pregnancy was the worst possible consequence of sex, so he says he's just struggling to shake the feeling like he's doing something wrong. He says he was similar about having sex back in his 20s when he lost his virginity, but lost the guilt with time (his first gf left him over it). But it was still so awful seeing him in that state!

Do I take him at his word that he still wants to continue and push through the guilt or do I decide that we should stop TTC?

OP posts:
rainydaysun · 31/01/2023 19:36

I'd say it's cold feet - I think everyone can get a bit panicked realising how much life is about to change. I'd just take the pressure off it a bit, and go into more of a "if it happens then it happens" kind of mode!

If you're talking car seats and names already it's bound to make you feel anxious!

Coffeellama · 31/01/2023 19:37

I think after one time it’d be daft to stop TTC, especially as time isn’t in your side. Just carry on and maybe agree for both of you to not put so much pressure on, nobody needs to be discussing names or car seats. See how you both feel at the end of this cycle when AF comes/doesn’t come and see if you need to chat some more.

Happinessandrainbows · 31/01/2023 19:39

I think it's just a big change/step for him. Don't think it's a sign to stop TTC, see how things evolve over the next few months x

FlyingHighFlyingLow · 31/01/2023 21:21

Thank you for the quick replies.
@rainydaysun @Coffeellama to be clear he is the one bringing up names and car seats 😂 he likes to be prepared and fully research EVERYTHING. Since we've been seriously talking about TTC he has taught me endless things about guidance for sleeping, rear-facing in cars, showed me an article about putting a baby down for childcare as soon as you know you're pregnant etc. I'm more of the we're not preventing lets see what happens, I'm not using ovulation sticks or checking temps or anything. I think I'm not really expecting it to happen (endometriosis and some other issues) while he thinks I'm instantly pregnant 😅

Thanks to you both and @Happinessandrainbows, hopefully it is just cold feet. I really don't want him to turn around later and say he wishes I'd listened to how he was acting and stopped.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread