Getting fed up now!

[Rockyslife]

I just feel like I really need to rant!
We have been trying to conceive for over a year now, I recently had fertility checks and my hormones etc are all ok, I had a hycosy procedure which my tubes were all clear which was great news as I was convinced they were blocked, my husband has had his sperm levels checked, and were all ok apart from the shape of them, they were a little abnormal, but the consultant has said no need for action, which does not make sense to me!
I try not to think about every single symptom I have during the 2 weeks wait because I just know that I will come on to my menstrual cycle, and I am just getting so fed up of letting myself get my hopes up for it to not happen! :( I just dont know what more I can do, the whole conceiving thing is becoming hard work now and not fun!

I feel you!

This was us a couple of year ago, we ended up doing IVF, down as unexplained infertility.

IVF worked for us. It was hard for us to accept at first but we got the best thing at the end of it.

Is it something you would be willing to do?
Did your DH have spent tests done at a fertility clinic?

Been there and worn that t shirt.

We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility (IMO the worst diagnosis)

We were advised to try proxeed supplements while we waited for IVF. They worked and I got pregnant naturally the month before starting IVF.

I will also say that by the 2 year mark I'd just given up. My default became that I wasn't pregnant and just lived my life. I started to make plans for a childless life.

I don't want to say 'relax and it will happen' because that is SHIT advice. However, it helped me cope with the disappointment by finding exciting non baby things to look forward to.

Infertility is just shit though. However you experience it.

I'm right with you @Rockyslife! This month is my 2 year anniversary for ttc, and the closest I've got is an early missed miscarriage in Dec 2021. We've had all the tests over the last couple of months and all pretty much fine (DHs swimmers are a little low on morphology, but have been advised that its fine overall).

Staring down the barrel of unexplained infertility and considering IVF. Is it something you've considered?

Hi. Please can I join this thread? In a slightly different situation as we have two children but been TTC a third for two years with no real explanation and I am also 36 now. My OH’s latest SA was below threshold on all measures but the other three have been fine so not sure if that’s the real issue or just a bad day. Our other children were conceived naturally without any issues and we started TTC again when our youngest was 18 months old. The whole thing is just mind boggling.

@Twizbe May I ask if you both took proxeed or just the male one?

Thanks for responding back, can I ask what the supplements were? My consultant has advised clopamine which releases more than 1 egg and month but I dont see how thats going to help us as I cant even conceive with the one egg i have already. Thank you so much again and I am so glad to hear it worked out for you guys.

The supplements were called Proxeed and we got them from Amazon. They're not cheap, especially the male one. It said on the box to take for 4 months or until you were pregnant. I got pregnant on cycle 4 of using it, twice!

@Anonbaby we both took it. We probably could have just had him take it, but it helped to feel like we were both in it together.

Its just so horrible isnt it, you get to the point where you think you cant actually conceive and its so sad. I am looking at going down the ivf route but when do you decide enough is enough and just go for it. I really didnt want to have to go through this but I guess we are human and humans arent all the same x

We too are looking at IVF but we have some philosophical hurdles (if that’s what you could call it) because of conceiving naturally before. As in, our bodies have done it before and now they’re saying no so we need to get our heads around that

also pretty fed up. Currently on a two month break of TTC #3. I have two children, nonissues conceiving at all. Also had an unplanned pregnancy in 2020 that ended up a ruptured ectopic and lost a tube. I’ve been ttc since October 2021 which puts me currently on cycle 18 I think.
I’ve had some tests done which maybe shows low progesterone so maybe not ovulating regularly. Had scan and all looks normal. Don’t feel like I’ll get anywhere with GP, they have enough on their plate right now, so I’m enquiring about private fertility investigations but won’t be doing IVF.

it’s so heartbreaking. My OH doesn’t get it.

That’s great thanks. I don’t think I’ve come across anyone taking the female ones. May I ask how long it took you to conceive in the end?

Thats great, I have never heard of anything like that. My husband is taking wellmans conception with hope they boost his swimmers, he is a nightmare trying to get him to take things, he thinks I am trying to poisen him haha if only he had to go through a hycosy hed soon take everything then 😉

X

@Mummyme87 sounds like we are in a really similar boat. I’m not sure if we have chatted before. May I ask why you’re not doing IVF? We are undecided. My OH is really good but he has said he would get over not having another whereas I really feel like I will struggle with that as I’ve had my heart set on it for such a long time and it’s been a shock after having two, I didn’t expect to be in this position. It doesn’t make sense. Admittedly I have been very stressed since day one but how do you stop that?!

i don’t mean to cause any offence to anyone on the thread without children. I do appreciate I am in a different position but also a difficult one xx

Baby 1 took 2.5 years to conceive. No miscarriages etc during that time.

Baby 2 took 6 months and we started taking proxeed again after a couple of months trying.

My husband only has one testicle (thank you mumps - make sure to give the mmr vaccine) but his tests were always ok even with that.

I struggled with the idea of IVF as well. Almost like if a baby wasn't conceived naturally perhaps they just weren't meant to be. Hope that doesn't offend, it's just how I felt.

I was clear though that I wouldn't do IVF for a second baby. I'd always wanted a boy called James and my first is a boy called James. Before trying for baby 2 I'd made peace with only having 1.

@Twizbe thanks. I keep hearing these stories but when you’re stuck in this position you just can’t imagine if ever happening. Think we are on month 21 and I don’t see why month 24, 28, 35 could possibly be any different! My OH has been on proxeed for 3 months now. We need to make a call on IVF but it’s a hard one for secondary infertility I think. Lots and lots of considerations

@Twizbe i know what you mean. We have had those thoughts and I think that’s what’s different for secondary. It has been before, so why not again? But it’s a dangling carrot isn’t it. Feels like the only possible solution to get us out of this mess and you know at 36 you can’t take your time over the decision and you don’t want to regret anything

@Anonbaby its the cost of IVF for us. We have two healthy children and are very lucky, the strain and cost of IVF is just not right for us.

@Mummyme87 do you have any ideas of how you’re going to come to terms with not having another that you could share? As I’m really struggling and don’t know how to move forward. I would prefer not to do IVF and enjoy life with my two children but I don’t want to regret giving up our only chance of another if that makes sense

I just dont know whether to take that route, I clinically am 'fertile' my hubby has average sperm count by the looks, but is on wellmans conception which is hopefully giving them a boost, my consultant has advised tablets to help me release more eggs each cycle but then I need scans to make sure I am not releasing too many which may end up in triplets, its all just confusing. I am tempted to go down the IVF route if not successful soon, my mums just had breast cancer and its really making me feel like I want her to see me have a baby :(

No @Anonbaby in my head I will get pregnant. I havent accepted there’s a chance it won’t happen. I do wonder if some clomid to increase/improve ovulation would help. I have blamed covid vaccines for not ovulating regularly, so didn’t have the 4th vaccine in autumn and do think I’m getting ovulation symptoms again which is good. On a side note, I’m not anti vax!!

@Mummyme87 dont you have regular cycles? I tried letrozole for a couple of months until my OHs latest SA and then I kind of thought what’s the point but I already ovulate anyway, my cycles are 28-34 days so I wasn’t ever convinced it was going to help me. I was only releasing one egg from it anyway so really didn’t see the benefit

@Rockyslife what is your diet like? We struggled to conceive but found that when we improved our diets I fell pregnant. I only did so after reading about a presenter or celebrity (can't remember who it was) who only managed to conceive after improving their diet - I increased the amount of protein and vegetables I was eating, to make sure I was getting all the nutrients I needed from my diet, and added in a conception multivitamin. There are a few books on diets for fertility that are super helpful

We're TTC and always understood a year was quite normal? Especially if your tests are OK. Can you try some health improvements such as diet, exercise, stress reduction, and give it a bit longer. IVF is so stressful and invasive.

@Anonbaby i do have regular cycles, now 26days usually, had been varying between 23-29 which was when my progesterone bloods were low so as much as I was having regular cycles I didn’t seem to be ovulating regularly.