TTC #2 constant disappointment. Moral support needed

[Teachermummy83]

Another 2 days late. Another negative test. Another disappointment.
2 years off contraception. Lots of issues that have meant we can't try consistently every month, but it's getting to the point where I'm so anxious I don't sleep and I don't think it'll ever happen. I'd almost rather not try than be disappointed, yet again.
How do we keep our spirits up?
Please tell others are in the same boat.

If I hear of one more person accidentally falling pregnant.....
One more person comments about DD needing a brother or sister.......
I might just cry.

Sorry for the moan, I just don't know how many more months I can deal with the disappointment.

I don’t have any specific advice but just wanted you to know you’re not alone. I’m 10 cycles into trying for baby 2. I fell pregnant fast with DD (5 years ago) and stupidly thought I’d be that lucky again.
I’ve had the comments just last weekend seeing an old family friend - “she needs a sibling, poor girl!” etc. It’s grating on me now. Had a dream last night that I had implantation bleeding!
I’m 7dpo now so heading towards that week of obsessing and overthinking which invariably leads to disappointment. Bored of it to be honest.

@vitahelp thank you. Sorry for my moan, it's just hard picking yourself up every month.
We took 18months first time, and expected a long journey again, just frustrated were getting nowhere fast.
You're right, the comments are the worst. And everyone else having 2, 3 or 4 since we had our first.
Off to look at vitamins - again!
Hope you have a lucky month 🙏

Could you do anything about not being able ttc every month? What is the root cause of this? Asking as I think if you could try every month, at least one stressor would be removed from the equation.

@Teachermummy83 don’t worry at all, I was actually going to apologise myself for commenting in such a negative way when you were probably looking for constructive replies! I totally get that, I don’t even know if I’m out this month yet but already dreading the picking myself up part!

Im also becoming conscious that I’ve been almost absent from family life (mentally) while all this has been going on. I’m trying to take steps to focus on a few other things recently so have started DD in some new classes and booked a family holiday for July.

Thank you, I really hope it happens for you soon too! xxx

@Happinessandrainbows various factors. Hubby has had reoccurring issues from a circumcision he had 5 years ago which wiped out 3-4 cycles, Then the usual ovulation week interruptions - one of us being away with work, the 2 year old not sleeping (this one is frequent) , one of us being ill....... Bad timing issues really.
And we're also at the point of feeling pressurised to perform when we do get the chance during Ov week, which has occasionally meant we just find it too stressful.

@vitahelp i totally get that. I actually said this morning (whilst crying over yet another negative test) I sometimes wonder if its better to not try at all than get my hopes up to have them dashed again? I don't really mean that, but the constant rollercoaster of emotions is draining. I need to snap out of it and try to be positive. At least we have one wonderful child, I need to be grateful for that.

Hello joining because I’m in a similar boat unfortunately. My daughter is 4 and took 5 cycles to conceive. Since she was 2 I’ve had family and colleagues (1 in particular) outright asking when we were going to have another.
I knew I wanted a fair age gap so we started trying when she turned 3- January last year. It took 8 months for a sniff of a BFP which sadly became a missed miscarriage, passed at 6 weeks, discovered through a scan at 9.
I decided to tell work, 1 for some time off and 2 to get people off my back. Lo and behold, this colleague had had a miscarriage herself so you would have thought she would have been a bit more tactful about why it was taking so long for a second!
Now we’re back to trying again, onto cycle 2 and so impatient as it’s been a year and we’re so conscious of our daughter getting older.

@T4Opal Sorry you're having a rough time. Folk can be so insensitive. I'm sure nobody means to be, but it's hurtful when there's nothing you want more than the non-existent baby they're commenting on. We keep thinking of the bigger and bigger age gap too. Ive bought all the vitamins this month and am trying to sort out my awful sleep to see if that's helps. Any other tips?

Hmm my first child is currently just 9 months old but I miss the newborn cuteness stage of bb. My hubby and I were trying our luck and see if we can get a #2 but BFN this month though my period was late for going 2 weeks.

looks like we are not gg see the BFP. It was so fast for our 1st child…

Hi OP, I listened to this podcast last year - it's from a woman I know who has secondary infertility.

I found it really helpful and full of wisdom - realise you are still actively trying but might be useful to add some extra awareness?

Wish you all the best <3

dramyjohnson.com/2022/10/ep220-coming-to-terms-with-disappointment/