Nervous to take the plunge and TTC!

[CinderRosie]

DH and I have wanted to TTC for a good while but we wanted to be married and own a house before we did, and we achieved both of those things last year. We are mid 30s so cannot hang around too much longer. The problem is, I’m an overthinker and I am struggling to take the plunge with just going for it. My fertile period rolls round and it feels genuinely scary to have knowingly unprotected sex. I'm a planner by nature so I’m tracking my cycle, taking ovulation tests, taking folic acid - and have been doing so for a few months now. Did anyone else feel like this? DH and I are certain we want a child but surrendering to the unknown is terrifying. How on earth do you just throw caution to the wind and go for it?

Hi! Replying because I’m in the exact scenario. We’ve been planning TTC for months, I am taking folic acid, obsessively tracking my cycle, we talk about ‘when we have a baby’ but my fertile week is coming up and I’m terrified.

I keep second guessing, am I ruining my life? What if the baby is disabled? What if I regret it? What if the birth is awful and I become disabled / die? Can we afford it?

I know logically all of the above is a risk everyone takes when they have a baby, but I’m still so scared.

(We’re early / mid-thirties, married, together over 10 years, own a house, have loads of savings so we’re actually in a great position).

Sorry, there’s no words of advice there, but just to let you know you’re not alone. I can’t decide if the doubts mean I’m not ready, or if I’m just over-thinking and I need to go for it.

I try and imagine how I’d feel if I got a positive test, and I think I’d be happy, but more of a ‘yay we’re not infertile!’ way, and then back to panicking!

@Mushroo I'm so glad it's not just me! My AF is now due and I've started spotting and I did feel a tinge a disappointment I wasn't accidentally pregnant.

@CinderRosie i can relate so much. We DTD over Xmas a few days after I was ovulated and I was a little sad when AF arrived even though I knew I wouldn’t be pregnant.

I think I am ready, but everyone else just seems so sure? I overthink everything

I was a bit like that. I was also worried about what if it didn't happen much more than if it did.

Oh my goodness, I've found my people! I've always known I've wanted (a child)ren but the actual reality of it is a bit of a mind scrambler. My partner and I are both early 30's and just recently started TTC. Despite making it clear it's just a casual effort for now I did somewhat panic when partner took the reigns and we had unprotected sex for the first time, squawking at him "you do know that makes babies, don't you?!"

I'm also trying to embrace the 'it's a process literally billions of people have gone through before you and yes it's scary and new but just take it as it comes' but it's a prickly one to get a grip on!

Hi all, I have one DC and currently pregnant with another!
Just so say this is totally normal, I felt like this both times when TTC.
The good news is if it happens straight away you have a long time to get your head around it (and prepare) 9 months!

And if it takes a bit longer, I think you'll find the worry of not conceiving and thinking (is there something up with us?) takes over the nerves of having a baby.

Just remember you can deal with whatever life throws at you!

This is just like husband and I were 5 years ago when we started trying for our first. And we have again been through exactly the same emotional rollercoaster for a year with decision to try for a second one. I literally was eating folic acid for a 11 months until we finally agreed to stop preventing. This time clock has also been ticking as 36 now. (And got pregnant from first cycle of properly trying! :D )

I think it is entirely normal for people who are planners/like to stay in control.

I have both time had exactly the same anxieties around health, disabilities, mental wellbeing, money, also things like anxiety over climate change thrown into the mix.

It's definitely normal and then when you fall pregnant, you might even have a moment of what have I done and panic!

I've been pregnant 3 times: a mmc and have a dd who's 2 and a ds who's 4 weeks old. I definitely felt all the above feelings.

I’m SO glad it’s not just me!