IVF anxiety - can I do it?

[RunningOnHope]

Hi, just doing a bit of processing out loud and wondering if anyone can sympathise or encourage...

I'm part of a same-sex couple, we have one toddler conceived pretty easily through artificial insemination at home and are now trying for another. My partner carried the first, I'm hoping to carry the second. When the at-home method didn't work for me, we got in touch with a fertility clinic, and intended to go for IUI initially. But after the consultation, it seems that it makes financial sense to go straight to IVF, because having failed at artificial insemination at home, it's less likely that IUI will work for me.

I am generally very anxious about all things medical. Having blood taken is a big trauma – they can never find a vein, it always takes a few different people to try, it's always really painful. But worse is the anxiety I feel beforehand, I'm really afraid of anything unknown, invasive, or painful. All of which IVF seems to be.

I want to go for it. It seems to be the best way to get our next child. I want to carry a baby myself, and my wife and I want to have a child genetically related to me. But I don't know how to know if I'm capable of going through it – the anxiety before every appointment, every procedure, injecting myself, being sedated, egg collection, the whole lot. But I want to come to terms with it and be able to do it. I really want this baby.

Has anyone else been through the same feelings? Is there anything that was helpful to you in getting through it, or anything that you read beforehand that you'd recommend? Any support appreciated!

Thanks :)

Hi!

Nerves are totally heightened when told to go through IVF.

Im also not good at blood tests etc and had no idea had the hell I would inject myself.

I done it. And it's made my needle phobia go away.
You have a test run of the needles with a nurse where she show you what to do and you have a go infront of her. Which eased my mind.

I would just explain how naughty your veins are and it's painful and they will 100% accommodate and do what they can.
I did find if I told them I'm feeling rather nervous they put me at ease.

I'm also very body conscious, my DP said to me they've seen so many vaginas they aren't going to remember yours 😂 and honestly after the first couple of internal scans etc you do start to relax.

I didn't do anything different tbh, I threw myself in and just took each app at a time. I've now been through it 3 times and would happily again tomorrow.

Best of luck to you both💫

Just wanted to update this thread in case anyone searches the same in future – I did go ahead and I'm so glad I did. I spent the next few days after I posted contacting everyone I knew who'd been through IVF and hearing their stories; it really helped normalise it for me, and persuaded me that I'd be able to go through it.

I took it step by step, just focused on the next thing at a time, and honestly, none of it was awful. I have probably had quite an easy ride, no side effects to drugs or painful injections. My down-reg was just one injection at the start, and my stims were really easy, not painful injections. The egg collection was the part I was most nervous about because I have difficult veins, so I used EMLA cream on my hands and couldn't feel the cannula at all. The whole process was absolutely manageable, even for a massive wimp like me. The embryo transfer I did find painful, but by that stage I was so relieved and excited to see a tiny embryo shooting across the screen and into my uterus that that too was perfectly bearable.

So, I'm now 5 days past transfer and don't yet know if it's worked - but we have three embryos in the freezer if this one doesn't and I'm so proud of myself for doing it.

Hope that's some encouragement for anyone else feeling the anxiety at the beginning of the process.