Thank you for creating this thread, I’ve been scrolling through this forum looking for exactly this. I need to share my story to I hope get some of the pain off my chest and know I’m not the only one out there going through this.
I have a daughter, she’s 2.5 years. Everything with that pregnancy was smooth & easy…I figured it would be the same for the next…but last year was full of so much upset and heartbreak. I fell pregnant in April 2022 and we were really excited, I told my parents and a couple of friends really early on, I just thought everything would be fine. At the dating scan (6 weeks) the lady said the heart beat was really faint and I had come in too soon, so to come back a few weeks later. I didn’t think anything of it, so went back at 8 weeks with my mum so she could share the experience. But the scan showed nothing…I had had a silent miscarriage at some point between 6-8 weeks and my body hadn’t responded as it should have. I then had to go home and break the news to my husband and a few days later undergo a D&C to clear everything out. My due date was 18 Jan 2023, I would have been 38 weeks pregnant now. As much as I tried not to think about it, I haven’t been able to make peace with this loss and let it go.
We waited a cycle before trying again and fell pregnant straight away in Aug 2022, I felt really positive about that pregnancy and again we got excited, but just 3 days after finding out I started getting crippling back pain, which left me unable to walk for nearly a week. The night the back pain finally started to ease I started bleeding. I woke in the middle of the night covered in blood. My husband and I cried ourselves to sleep that night. The following week a friend told me she was 6 weeks pregnant. I see her every week at our kids swim lessons, she’s a constant reminder of this miscarriage.
After this my husband and I got blood and other tests done. We overhauled our diets, really focused on being healthy and getting ourselves in the best shape. All the tests came back clear and we were told to try again.
I had a positive result in December 2022, it’s been 6 weeks 1 day. My husband and I don’t speak about this one, there is no excitement, no happy chatter. I don’t use the ‘P’ word, we just say ‘if it sticks’. Every day drags by and is terrifying. I delayed getting my blood tests done and had a panic attack when I was there, but it’s all come back positive. Our dating scan is in 3 days, I’m so nervous. I’m trying to prepare myself that there might not be anything there, as it might be another silent miscarriage, or maybe there will be a heartbeat but again that doesn’t mean it will still be there in a few weeks time. I stress about every cramp and ache I get - what does it mean, is something bad happening.
I feel sad and disconnected with this one, it’s the only emotions I feel I can have at this point. I don’t want to get any hopes up to just to go through disappointment and heartbreak again. If I can get to 12 weeks I think then I can begin to feel something more.
Sorry that was a long reply, but that’s my story and how I’m feeling.