Plucking up the courage for TTC #2

[Bellyrumble]

It took us a few years to conceive our DS, and I didn’t truly believe we had, until he was born 15m ago.

I have PCOS and adenomyosis. I had ovarian drilling and we were waiting for further treatment when we fell on naturally approx 6weeks after my October 2020 surgery.

My cycles are all over the place and I’m still breastfeeding at bedtime and once at around 4am.

we really want a second if we are lucky enough but mentally it was so difficult last time. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have my DS. Equally I wouldn’t want to stop feeding him just for a chance at a second which may or may not happen

how do I emotionally psych myself up for this? We are ready for another baby and we both feel we have been for a while but being ready for the rollercoaster of TTC is a whole other ball game and it is bringing back awful memories of fertility appointments, alone, during the pandemic whilst juggling everything else 😩

I’m in a similar boat, my daughter is 16months and we have decided to try and conceive (starting this month). I feel exactly the same I’m not sure I want to worry about my period, opks etc. we were very lucky in conceiving our daughter relatively easily but I know it’s not always the case. I am also breastfeeding still (a little in the day, always at bedtime and once in the night) but I am hoping that doesn’t impact too much!
good luck in your journey- I know I haven’t said much but just wanted to share that you aren’t alone in this

Another one in the same boat here! I have PCOS and conceived DD after 2yrs of trying and 3 rounds of letrozole (diagnosed 8yrs ago now). She is now 18months old.

We are waiting for a referral back to the gynae clinic for a new letrozole prescription but in the meantime are trying naturally anyway. My cycles have been dreadful after my last pregnancy and i havent lost any of the baby weight, so I'm not hopeful.

I've decided to take a much more laidback approach this time and just see what happens. Although it would be nice for DD to have a sibling, my MH really suffered with everything we went through to conceive her and I'm not prepared to do that to myself again.

Thank you ladies

I think you’ve both illustrated there that no matter what happened last time, this is a fresh start and I probably need to take a step back a bit and not panic about it either,
my MH really suffered but towards the end I really did let TTC consume me. Maybe I don’t have time for that now with DS?

@Pinklilly fingers crossed with a few feeds it won’t affect too much 🤞🏼

@YorkshireTeaCup good luck with the referral back for letrozole and I’m glad it worked for you last time. That was to be our next step after my surgery. I’ve been told we can be referred straight back to fertility but only if I stop bf so we’re going to try naturally first

good luck ladies xx

Sending you love. I really relate.

It took well over a year, almost a year and a half to conceive. I did have one miscarriage a couple of months prior to conceiving mg little one. My husband has a fertility issue. I spent so long stressed out and emotionally drained by TTC while everyone around me announced accidental pregnancies or ‘we got pregnant on the first try’ - it was so much harder than I ever could have anticipated. I then had a difficult pregnancy and spent the whole 9 months anxious that I wouldn’t have a healthy baby at the end of it.

I’m still breastfeeding my little one too. My periods aren’t regular either. I haven’t been on contraception since my periods returned and so far, no success. This is my 7th cycle of unprotected sex.

Know that you are not alone and I hope this journey is an easier one for you xx

Hi @CZ9294 , I’m sorry to hear you are in this camp too, and I’m sorry to hear about your previous loss. It does help to think we are not alone in this too. How old is your little one now?

New Year’s Day brought me a period this year, we’ll see what happens but I’m not holding out much hope! Just de latched DS from the boob, he’s increased my supply loads over Christmas so I suspect will take a bit to settle back down.

I found my notebook the other day from the last time- contained all my appointments, what was did see, surgery outcomes, scan notes etc (or at least my interpretation of what was said). I haven’t read through all of it but it kind of helped to see what we’d been through already and survived. I might do similar this time if we end up in the same boat

sending love and baby dust to all of you xx

My little one is 12 months. I also think my supply is up after Christmas. But back at work tomorrow so I expect it will settle and adjust as we spend longer apart again.

I think it’s good you’ve been able to go through your notebook - that sounds like a brave/positive step and I think it could be quite cathartic for you?

sending you lots of love and well wishes for conception and health! Xxx

I think you just have to go for it. We started when my son was 12 months as, like you, we have fertility issues and it took 1.5 years to have our son.

Unfortunately we're now 12 months in and have had two missed miscarriages in that time. However, I am glad we started as early as we did.

I hope it happens quickly and easily this time for you! :)

I am also in the early months of trying for no.2, DD was 2 in September and we would have started sooner but have had to wait due to nursery fees (She gets her free hours at 3) as they are so extortionate!

We tried for 2 years for DD with 3 miscarriages - 1 a MMC discovered at 12 week scan which was just awful, and I was furloughed for pretty much the entirety of my pregnancy so was left alone with my thoughts and anxieties. It was a horrible pregnancy and I didnt believe she was actually going to join us until she did, so I know how you feel.

I keep trying to tell myself that this time we wont feel so alone as another lockdown is v v unlikely (fx!!) and having had one successful pregnancy, there is every chance this will be ok too. Having said that if we have more mc I am not sure how many I could take before I have to call it quits....

Try to keep the hope that all will be ok, until proven otherwise. Sorry to hear others have had a hard time too.

I'm in the same boat as this is the first month we are trying for #2 and DD turns 1. I'm worried long-term about the crèche fees but tbh it took over a year and 2 MCs (one very traumatic Emergency D&C) and a stressful pregnancy with bleeding, steroids and practically bedrest towards the end. I think given all that I'd rather have a go as GP implied if I wanted more children I should do sooner rather than later. I'm just hoping this time I can relax more about whole process. I have my kid and she's great whatever happens.

How are you all doing ladies? This week in January can be a bit bleugh but we’ve decided to properly “go for it” now.

I got turned down for a new job yesterday. I was relieved as it meant we wouldn’t have to pause TTC. I think that’s made me realise how much we want this 😩

how are those of you who are breastfeeding- have your supplies settled after Christmas now? DS is going longer overnight but boob obsessed at bedtime 🥱

I am really sorry to hear those of you who have had losses. 💐

Wishing everyone babydust and some positive vibes for January x

@Bellyrumble im sorry to hear bout the job but glad it helped you see how much you want baby number 2

with respect to breastfeeding I bf my 16 month old once in the night, morning, after nursery and before bed
i wonder if that is “too much”? How often are you feeding?

this was our first month ttc and we only managed to dtd twice so I’m not super hopeful but should find out in a few days either way . Wishing you lots of luck!

Nice to have an update @Bellyrumble !

My gynae appt has come through for next Thurs so pleased to be able to at least get some answers about the next steps if things don't happen soon. DH and i have been at the opposite ends of the country for most of the new year though, so need to knock that on the head to start with!! 😂

I had my surgery for my MMC a week ago tomorrow so one week to go before we can get back to TTC :) Our first IVF appointment is on the 30th (rescheduled twice already due to Covid and pregnancy) so not too long until that either.

I hope you all don’t mind me posting on here but I think it’s a bfp. I tested today (period due) not sure if it’s too faint for a period due day. I also wanted to post that if it is a bfp to reassure those of us who are breastfeeding that it is possible!
i thought I would feel less nervous this time around but I’m just as worried!

I’m really glad those of you with appointments have now got them- it’s great to be moving forward!

I think I’ll give myself until June before I re-refer as that’s 6 months, so hard to predict anything when I don’t have regular cycles 😩

@Pinklilly congratulations!! So pleased for you! And you’ve given me hope that it can be done, we’re feeding the same number of times a day as you said above. Keeping everything crossed for you xx

Hi OP,

I have pcos and took over a year to conceive my first little one. It's was mentally and physically draining. I always knew I would like another little one but like you wasn't particularly looking forward to it as it's not as simple as others who are lucky enough to be able to track a cycle 😅. I decided not to use any birth control after being giving birth and whatever happens would happen and sure enough just before my little ones first birthday I fell pregnant with my second.

Just take it easy and I'm sure it will come, sending baby dust your way x

Thank you for the reassuring words @FT123456 :)

I’ve never been on any form of birth control, been with DH for 14 years (we were 16, so so young and naive!) and only managed to get pregnant the once 😬

We definitely need to DTD more regularly I know that, and I’m hoping to relax more this time as you say, just roll with it and whatever happens, happens. I’m 30 in a few weeks so partially relieved I can have a few beverages the way things stand but in my head I’d have had 3 kids by now 🙈

@Bellyrumble thank you. Hopefully everything goes well. It feels different to my first as I had hyperemesis gravidarum with her and it started so early. Atm I feel nothing!
I think maybe just enjoy dtd for a while and just see. It

@Pinklilly congratulations! That's amazing! Hope you are feeling ok.

Just to update this thread, i had a gynae appt today at the one stop women's clinic our GP offers with a consultant from our local hospital. They did an internal scan and said that my uterus lining is very thick, which he thinks is leading to the long periods. He seemed satisfied that it is down to my existing PCOS. He's referred me to the fertility clinic (we conceived DD1 with letrozole and are hoping to do the same with DC2) but satisfied that no further bloods or tests required unless i get further symptoms. So we are officially back on the clinic waiting list. I did get a very good look at how horribly cysty my ovaries are though 😫😭

Hope you all get positive news and appointments soon 🤞🏻

The one stop clinic sounds like a good little time saver, wish ours had something like that! Hopefully it’s not too long until fertility see you

has anyone been put on the fertility waiting list whilst still breastfeeding? I don’t want to stop and then have a huge wait to see fertility when I could have been feeding my boy the whole time, but equally don’t want to wait until I’ve stopped and then have a massive wait to see fertility either (I ended up going private last time for my surgery as it was nearly 1 yr wait, and we can’t afford that this time).

@YorkshireTeaCup thank you! Hopefully all goes well- so far no symptoms but tests have darkened. I’ll take another clear blue weeks this weekend.

I agree with @Bellyrumble this clinic sounds really good that you have and glad investigations have started for you. I hope the waiting list isn’t too long!

@Bellyrumble I unfortunately have no idea but I don’t think that would be fair to make you stop bf. Most of the evidence have states that once your periods have returned and your ovulating bf isn’t the limiting factor in getting pregnant. So hopefully they follow that. Do you have a specific time frame you wish to feed for?
I was planning to wean my daughter when she’s 2 (no rhyme or reason I just thought 2 was a good age) and new baby will hopefully arrive a month after that so it means I’m probabl Bf for four consecutive years if all goes well! Who knows she may wean earlier!

I don’t have a time frame really, probably 2ish but if he weans before then I wouldn’t mind, just whenever it naturally takes it course

the issue with having PCOS is I don’t know if I’m actually ovulating or not :/ I suspect they’ll say breastfeeding could affect that and hence tell me to stop feeding

my periods have returned but no pattern to them (104 days, 39 days, 29 days, 84 days, literally as random as that!)

I’ll see how things go and re-assess in a few months I think. After a few years trying for my boy, I kind of know we’re in this for the long haul 😩

@Bellyrumble i think the approach of taking it naturally to wean sounds lovely I feel the same until 2! And then I think I want to wean. I’m not too keen on doing tandem nursing.

oh I’m sorry I didn’t realise about how PCOS and breastfeeding could be impacting so I appreciate it’s a bit harder to balance it when cycles aren’t as regular.

your plan sounds pretty sensible see how you go and then reassess. and I feel that conception for 2 pregnancies isn’t necessarily the same so you never know!

I also just took clear blue weeks indicator last week it said 1-2 and today it says 3+ so hopefully that’s a good sign!