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Conception

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TTC #1, 13 cycles, 0 BFPs, need to vent

3 replies

TinyDancer91 · 27/12/2022 02:17

We are currently TTC #1. I am 31 and DP is 35. Neither of us have any history of pregnancies. We are now 13 cycles in on cycle day 26. My cycles are usually 27-31 days and up until cycle #10 I was using OPKs to track ovulation. I haven't traced the past 3 cycles as I was getting stressed out & obsessed with them so needed to give myself a break. So far we have absolutely ZERO success. No BFPs, no chemicals, no MMC. We are going to contact the GP in the new year once AF inevitably arrives in the next few days and get the ball rolling with some tests. I've had the day 21 tests already which came back as 'normal' but we agreed on waiting until the new year to see if our chance would come naturally before that.

The past couple of hours I've been having cramps and bloating (usual PMS type pain) but no other sign of AF yet. Yet another BFN though so fully expecting to wake up to AF's arrival.

Why is this so hard? This is supposed to be one of the most natural things in the world. We were taught that it was so easy to get pregnant. Please spare me the BS of 'it's because your strong enough to cope with this' or similar. I'm not. This is destroying me. Every month that passes, every BFN, crushes my heart and soul a little more than the last. The jealousy of seeing pregnancy announcements, the guilt of feeling that jealousy. I hate it all.

I can't even share the pain because we haven't told anyone we are TTC to spare us the pressure of people asking. Sometimes I just need to get all of my thought out of my head, have a good cry to myself and sleep.

I started off this journey feeling so positive and I really hate what it's made me become but I have never wanted anything in my life as much as we want this.

Sorry for the long/negative post but I needed to offload...

OP posts:
MilkyAndFluffy · 27/12/2022 23:22

Hi lovely - I’m so sorry to hear about how long you have been doing this for already, it must be heartbreaking. We have been trying for 4 months with no luck and I feel like I’m going absolutely insane with it. I know exactly what you mean about feeling jealous of every pregnancy announcement and then feeling riddled with guilt for feeling jealous. I keep telling myself it’s karma because I’m jealous of other people it’s not happening for me - keep trying to push the bad thoughts out of my head and be happy for people (which I am) but I’m also super jealous.

its such a painful, viscous cycle and really unfair. I annoyingly don’t have any advice for you as I have been unsuccessful myself as well! I just wanted you to know I’m right there with you with all your feelings. We also haven’t told anyone so it’s hard having no one to talk to. My other half is so chill compared to me and just doesn’t overthink anything or get worked up so he just doesn’t understand my frustrations either!

you are taking the right steps by looking at getting checked over in the new year and hopefully those results come back all clear and you can continue trying. Or, if there is something going on, fingers crossed it’s something they can help with to get you the BFP you are desperate for!!!!

im sending you all the baby dust in the world, we just gotta hang in there 😫x x x x

Workinprogress90 · 28/12/2022 00:17

Hey guys, just want to say I absolutely know the feeling. TTC for 17 months and nothing. Never seen a test with a double line on it. Just really hoping it will happen for us.

we started tests in September, DH all fine, I have Pcos and they weren’t convinced I was ovulating. Had a polyp removed from my uterus in November - they didn’t think that was causing my infertility but shouldn’t be there so made sense to remove it. This is my first cycle trying letrozole so I am keeping everything crossed this could make the difference!

carsty · 03/01/2023 17:37

hi there and happy new year. i am in my 30s, got married in 2021 dtd never been on contraception and never had a bfp. i also feel envious of others who av kids or bfp along woth guilt, my hubby is chilled n were not strictly ttcing as i kno wat hes like if i keep on about dtding at a certain time. he is just laid back about it, we hardly dtd anyway, i started to do some fertility checks last year..im hoping to resume and convince oh to also get checked...its frustrating and i hate when people ask me when im gonna have kids, grrh i dnt know i cant predict the future so i widh they wud leave me alone sigh lol i hope this year will be our year!!

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