Struggling to hear people announce pregnancies

[CZ9294]

I’m about to embark on cycle 6 of TTC. I know my OH has fertility issues.

It took 14 months to conceive our first. I know I am so so so lucky to have a child already. But I so want my little one to have a sibling.

I’m surrounded by people announcing pregnancies and hearing of how quickly it happened for them. I’m really envious, which I feel terrible for saying.

I hate the emotional torture of TTC. Every month I get my hopes up and each month they’re crushed.

Just a thread to rant, really…

Same. I get it. We're trying for our first and all my friends are falling pregnant, some by accident. Sigh. It's frustrating but I'm just trying to throw myself into work and hobbies. I feel like we reduce our lives to this one thing when we are TTC. The only way to get from one month to another is to keep doing the things you love and appreciating what you already have.

I keep telling myself I will get the child I'm meant to get. And I will be happy I didn't get pregnant sooner.

I can relate. I'm 39 and have been trying to conceive for 5 months now. Was on the mini pill for 12 years after I had my only son. My good friend has just told me she's expecting again and her son is only 3 months old. I'm really happy for her but so sad for myself. It's all consuming and is all I think about. I'm having blood tests next month to check I'm ovulating.

@hford19 so sorry you feel the same.
I felt exactly the same when we TTC #1. I’d cry every month after about month 8. It felt like it would never happen. It’s so true though about finding the job and happiness in the daily things in life! That’s a great way of putting it into perspective. Thank you for sharing.

I do truly believe what’s meant for you will be. And I promise you, it’s so worth it when you have your baby in your arms. I told myself I could never put myself through TTC again. I also had a hard pregnancy. But by the time my daughter was about 6 months old, I felt like I was ready to do it all again because they’re just so worth it.

how long have you been TTC for? Xxx

@Janes76 i would also find it hard if I had a friend pregnant, especially so soon after having a baby. That must be so tough. I hope your tests come back great and that you have your bfp soon. Sending hope and love

Just found out my 2nd frozen embryo transfer failed and we have none left we have low amh and hubby has low morphology and motility its not impossible for us to fall naturally but very unlikely we can't afford 5grand for a fresh round but we do have our little boy seems like half of my Facebook is pregnant I feel your pain honestly xx

@Laurapb88 i am so sorry to hear this 😞 sending you so much love! Life feels so unfair sometimes - and even though some people have it worse, it shouldn’t minimise the sadness others feel! Xxx

It must be very hard. I waited two and half years for my first and eighteen months for my second and with the first I remember crying every time I heard someone else getting pregnant. I'm just wondering if you are following any programs for getting your body ready for pregnancy. I think it both helped me to get pregnant but also feel more in control of my fertility IYSWIM. I did Chinese medicine, went on an organic diet, took relevant vitamins (from memory additional selenium, magnesium and iodine) had reflexology and acupuncture as well as having polyps removed and taking fertility tablets. I'm pretty sure it helped me to feel less helpless and actually helped me get pregnant (I looked so well and my skin was glowing so I believe it helped prepare my body for pregnancy).

Thank you xx I'm a big believer in things happening for a reason and if it's meant to happen then it will. My DH is 46 now though so we are firmly in the 'older category ' but I'm trying my best to remain positive.

Same here. I think a few people saved announcing pregnancies until Christmas Day (social media) so it has felt like a lot. I also have a child already, 5 year old daughter, but also really want a second one. I’m 8 cycles in now, it’s getting hard to hold onto hope right now and I’m starting to try and come to terms with the idea of it just being the 3 of us.

I posted before Christmas that I was scheduled for day 2 and 21 bloods in January to check I was ovulating but I finally got my bfp the day I was due at the doctors. I genuinely can't believe that it's happened for me. There is hope. The two things I did differently last month were taking Procieve vitamins ( me and DH) and using Conceive Plus fertility Lubricant.

I get it :( we’re trying for our first just now and one of my best friends announced last weekend - they weren’t even “properly” trying. Of course I’m happy for her but I came home and cried 🙁

I’m 43 on Sunday, been TTC for over a year with two miscarriages in that time. I’m struggling with announcements too :( as I know my time is running out.

I posted before Christmas that I was still trying to conceive. I finally got my positive on Jan 6th and was elated- I couldn't believe it. Had weeks of strong nausea and every symptom under the sun. As hard as it was I took comfort in the knowledge that these were all signs of a healthy pregnancy.

We booked a private scan at 9wks 3 days because we were due to have the NIPT screening test done the following week as I'm 39 but it showed that the heart beat had stopped the week before. A further 2 scans the next day showed it had died. It's been hell. I had surgical management yesterday under a GA after having it cancelled the previous day due to other emergencies. I'm in pain and don't really know what to do with myself. I'm surrounded by pregnant women both at work and I'm family and friends which is horrible.

I had absolutely no signs anything was wrong. I want to try again but have no idea how I'd ever know if it was alive until the 12 wk scan as I've had no bleeding. I had a bump which continued to grow because of the surging hormones. Has anybody else been through a missed miscarriage? I'm sorry If I shouldn't have posted this depressing story on here.

In the middle of cycle after cycle of failed IVF I almost couldn’t be around any woman who might possibly be pregnant because it was eating me up with desperation and bitterness and jealously - had a weird sixth sense as well where I just knew someone was pregnant before I was told! It’s awful.

However, now I have a baby, it’s almost like I’ve forgotten - I took him to work the other day and it was only one way home that I realised that that would have had me in tears all week previously and that I don’t know what anyone else is going through, and suddenly felt really selfish.

I think it's perfectly normal don't beat yourself up , I've been ttc my 1st for 16 months now with 1 MC now starting the process of trying to figure out what's wrong or if we need IVF. I get terribly sad why I hear of pregnancies in friend and family or work ... of course I'm happy for them but it hurts because I want it so badly.

@Janes76 I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, I had a missed miscarriage in December, went excitedly for a scan to be told no heartbeat, I hadn't a clue, no bleeding, no symptoms at all, total shock. I had an ERPC and I'm now on second cycle of trying again which is emotionally draining and feels so unfair.

I would say you won't be in your right mind for a few weeks at least, im only starting to feeling half normal now over 2 months later.

I feel exactly the same about again, if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again (I'm betting on nothing) how would I know! I think id defo be more aware or watching for symptoms lessening like sore breasts or even any slight change, I'd definitely go for more bi weekly scans which while costly my first scan at 8 weeks was worth it as it picked up the miscarriage.

I'm 38, 39 in August and I feel absolutely panicked that I'll never have a baby at my age, I really hope it works out for both of us and we get our rainbow babies soon.

I went for a fertility assessment on Wednesday past however don't have my consultation for results until 8th March, I'm trying my best to not think about things too much and get on with normal life which is terribly difficult.

Ahh I totally get it, I had 2 miscarriages, during my second miscarriage my sil announced she was pregnant 😭😭 would have been similar due date. It was so hard trying to be happy and support when I was broken. At one point even walking in a kids clothes shop would make me cry. I was a mess. Hopefully no one noticed, as I never spoke about it. But then after second miscarriage my periods stopped for a year, physical health deteriorated and it Doctors were saying about testing for infertility. Omg it's so hard keeping your pain quiet amongst families. I feel so much for anyone TTC. It's such an emotional turbulent time!!!

@Namechange567775 haha strangely that has happened me alot. I get a strong feeling someone is pregnant. Friends / friends of friends . I can say its happened with 5 or 6 women. One of the women ( friend of friend ) i had a feeling about her first then I had a feeling a few months ago about her second pregnancy aswell. Very strange isn't it.

To be honest that's like me now. I've distanced myself from alot of friends simpy because it's too hard to be around them because everyone around me is pregnant and constantly talking about their pregnancy or kids and I feel totally alienated and jealous

@Janes76 i am so so sorry to hear this. I am sending you so much love right now. I wish I had some wisdom to share, but I feel nothing will suffice now. I just want to say, please don’t give up hope xxx

@38andtrying so sorry to hear of your miscarriage to. Sending you a lot of love. Xxx

@Hope551 sorry to read that you’ve had two miscarriages. Sending you a tonne of love xxx

I still haven’t had a positive pregnancy yet since TTC number 2 and I also feel like it’s impossible to be optimistic at this stage. But there’s a wonderful community of women on here and I hope the kindness and empathy of a stranger helps us all get through those really tough days xxx

I was exactly the same. It's so normal. TTC can be very stressful and hearing of others pregnancies is heartbreaking.
@Hope551 I'm so sorry, having the same/similar due dates is beyond heartbreaking 💔 I hope everything works out for you 🌸

@Janes76 I had a mmc last April, my body didn’t tell me anything was wrong and I went to a scan at 9weeks but it had stopped 2.5weeks before. Even the miscarriage was longwinded- it took another two weeks before I started to naturally miscarry. Then five weeks after that I had erpc because my body just wouldn’t let go of some. Those were probably the lowest 7 weeks of my life so far.

I conceived again three months after the surgery in August. I haven’t trusted my body at all in that first trimester. My symptoms disappeared for a week at 8weeks and I was convinced it was happening again (I went for a private scan to check at 9 weeks). Then at the nhs dating scan I didn’t fully know what news I would hear. However luckily it’s still continued so far and I have just reached the third trimester. I’m only posting this for a positive outcome after a mmc and I hope you all have positive outcomes soon.

During the time of the mmc I had a friend who had just had her baby. I had to wait three months before I visited and even then, mentally it was very hard. That was the second month ttc after surgery. I was happy for my friend but equally sad for myself, not knowing if or when I would ever reach the point of having a baby. Then we visited dh’s friends who also just had a baby, technically I was about 6 weeks pregnant at that point of that visit but after the mmc I was pessimistic about it.

I’m now on the other side of this, myself and a friend are both pregnant while we have another friend who’s been trying for years including ivf and they haven’t been successful yet. I’m just trying to be there as a friend but also be careful and partly do it from a distance because being pregnant is also a reminder for her.

Blue 2020- I'm so sorry you've also been through this. Life is just completely unfair. I think I'd be the same in that I'd want to pay for regular private scans to try lessen the anxiety IF I happen to fall pregnant again. I'm 40 in August so know time is of the essence. As miserable as it was finding out last weekend I'm just greatful I didn't find out at the 12 week scan having bought loads of baby things which I was planning on doing last week until I found out. I - like you just want to be pregnant again so much so will get back into it as soon as I've had a natural period- whenever that might be seen as I'm still bleeding from the surgery. Best of luck to us both xx